Friend not sharing discount?

[KellyJellyfish]

I admit this is a very first world problem, but it’s been bothering me a bit so just thought I’d ask what others think.

I recently came back from mat leave, DD starts nursery in a couple weeks and of course it’s Christmas so money for me is tight and has been for a while.

A friend and me decided we would go to the cinema next week, this is a rare treat for me and I haven’t been to the cinema in several years, it’s not the cheapest experience anymore so I was already planning on forgoing popcorn and drinks to keep the cost down. My friend is aware of my situation, we also work together so she knows about mat leave and how our company only offers statuary, and I’ve been lamenting to her about the cost of nursery fees and how the family is only doing gifts for the kids this year.

Anyway, we’ve settled on a date and time, it’s a popular film so we decided to book together (otherwise we may not get seats together) I suggested to her my husband books the tickets as he gets a 40% discount for friends and family through work, but I mentioned it had been years since he last booked so I will double check with him first if he still gets this discount, she agreed.

Next day rolls around and I forgot to ask husband (turns out yes he does still get the discount), but then friend said don’t worry about it as she’s got a free cinema ticket (from a reward scheme tied to her bank or something) so she’ll take care of booking the tickets. I thanked her and said she should ping me a request for the money and I’ll pay her back.

Well last night I got her text, there was a copy of both our tickets and a money request for one full price ticket for me to pay. I had assumed she was going to share the saving of her free ticket so we’d both pay half price, instead she kept the free ticket for herself and stuck me with paying full price, even though I told her my husband could get us both a good discount.

I haven’t said anything because I imagine she just didn’t think it through and there’s no point falling out over cinema tickets, but I’m still annoyed about it. Obviously I know I’m
not entitled to her free ticket, but she could have saved it for another time instead of denying me my husbands discount?

That's so stingy and she's your friend! I wouldn't and didn't even ask for the ticket money from DS's friends as seems petty over £8 let alone my own friend (I get the 40 discount from work benefits)!

« Hi friend, are you offering to share your discount, ie we pay 50% of the full price ticket each? No worries if not of course as I still have the option of buying my ticket via DH to get 40% off. Let me know! »

She’s took the selfish move to pay £0 instead of paying towards the 40% saving but maybe money is as tight for her as it is you.

Is a cinema ticket really that much? We go to Vue and pay £4.99-£5.99.

It’s over £10 here, not a crazy amount but I guess it’s more the principles of it? It’s certainly made me wary of letting her book things for us in the future.

Wow what a mean and selfish "friend". It wouldn't cross my mind not to share a discount.

Yes I probably should have done this. I felt awkward though because she just sent me a Monzo request for the money, so I couldn’t put in a different amount, only ignore it and have the awkward conversation instead. Blame me for hating confrontation I guess.

I'm not sure why you think she should be subsidising you tbh.

I think I'd message back and say, do you think we could split some of the discount as things are a bit tight here and I was banking on getting at least 40 per cent off with my husband's discount?

She may have just been a bit thoughtless and I'd prefer to say something than just let it rankle with me.

Yeah i think I'd have been tempted to ask her straight if she wants me to pay full amount or half so at least it's bringing attention to it! If she says full id maybe then say oh I'd have better getting the 40% off then how frustrating

This did occur to me, so when she said not to worry and she’ll book for us I asked her if she was sure, even thanked her (so not sure what she thought was going on there).

The reward wasn’t going anywhere though, she goes out far more often that I do so she could have used it another time, or just not told me about it? I understand wanting to keep your discounts to yourself but it’s weird to bring it up in a group setting implying it benefits the group?

I think this tells you a lot about her character and how she’d rather risk a friendship than spend a few £. It’d really annoy me.

£10 still sounds like a cheap trip out to me. I wouldn’t let it spoil your day or friendship over you missing out on a couple of pound saving.

I pay £7 a month for one of the Monzo perk plans that recently started to give a free Vue cinema ticket. We haven’t yet managed to make it the cinema but it wouldn’t even occur to me to expect the person I’m with to pay full price while I paid nothing, I’d split the cost between us. YANBU.

iirc I also get £ off food too, I’d also share that discount!

Because I was going to subsidise us both with my husbands discount? I didn’t have to of course, but it was a nice thing to do. But I ended up having to pay full price when I didn’t have to.

I totally get if she wants to use her free ticket, but I’d rather she just told me to take care of my own ticket instead of telling me she’s take care of both tickets as she’s got a discount, it gave me the impression she’d split the cost.

Presumably hers was only free because it was booked with one full price ticket? She wouldn't have got it free if she just booked one seat.

So therefore the cost should be shared.

It's cheaper for her to get a free ticket than a 40% discount though.
If you're that bothered tell her to cancel the full price ticket and actually get your 40% discount organised.

Wow I think that's off. She should split the discount esp as she knew you didn't need to pay full price. Why expect you to? I wonder if she can cancel her paid ticket and you book yours at the discount?

Why not ask her why she's expecting you to pay for the full price ticket when she knows you could get a discount? Ask her to get a refund and get your husband to get you a discounted one. It does seem a bit odd that she'd do that.

A lot of faff over like a £1 difference for her.

We’ve both paid, I’m not going to do anything else at this point, I’m just going to make a mental note to book my own when seeing her in the future

The fact is, she should be bothered, she should be bothered that comes across as a tight, unfriendly, friend!

To those comparing her free ticket with your husbands discount, it's not the same thing. She gets one free ticket, he is entitled to a discount on both. So if she went half on your ticket now she's paying money which she wouldn't have had to if she'd gone on her own. It's not the same as you giving her 40% off hers as you wouldn't be entitled to 80% off yours if she wasn't there. Hopefully that makes sense!!

But.... you shouldn't have to pay more now than you would if you'd gone on your own. She's thought it's best for her to use her free ticket as she goes free, regardless of the fact that you're now spending nearly double.

So I would go back and say I appreciate you get your ticket free this way, but I'm paying double for mine so please cancel my ticket and I'll book my own.

I seem to be the only one thinking about 🍿

If you go, takeyour own, you don’t need to buy it on site or go without.

Except you are asking her to pay for half your ticket. Her ticket was free, so she didn't pay anything. Why should she then pay half of yours? You should have said that you would buy your own ticket with your husband's discount. If the cinema is half empty there would be no problem booking seats together even if bought separately. She didn't think it through (that if she bought your ticket you'd pay full price), but then neither did you.

I think everyone understands that, it is the principle of being a 'friend' is what is up for debate!

Equally, can the OP's friend get the free ticket without someone paying full price? If not it's very brazen indeed!

Yes that is rubbish. I'd say something as you won't enjoy the experience now.