Friend not sharing discount?

[KellyJellyfish]

I admit this is a very first world problem, but it’s been bothering me a bit so just thought I’d ask what others think.

I recently came back from mat leave, DD starts nursery in a couple weeks and of course it’s Christmas so money for me is tight and has been for a while.

A friend and me decided we would go to the cinema next week, this is a rare treat for me and I haven’t been to the cinema in several years, it’s not the cheapest experience anymore so I was already planning on forgoing popcorn and drinks to keep the cost down. My friend is aware of my situation, we also work together so she knows about mat leave and how our company only offers statuary, and I’ve been lamenting to her about the cost of nursery fees and how the family is only doing gifts for the kids this year.

Anyway, we’ve settled on a date and time, it’s a popular film so we decided to book together (otherwise we may not get seats together) I suggested to her my husband books the tickets as he gets a 40% discount for friends and family through work, but I mentioned it had been years since he last booked so I will double check with him first if he still gets this discount, she agreed.

Next day rolls around and I forgot to ask husband (turns out yes he does still get the discount), but then friend said don’t worry about it as she’s got a free cinema ticket (from a reward scheme tied to her bank or something) so she’ll take care of booking the tickets. I thanked her and said she should ping me a request for the money and I’ll pay her back.

Well last night I got her text, there was a copy of both our tickets and a money request for one full price ticket for me to pay. I had assumed she was going to share the saving of her free ticket so we’d both pay half price, instead she kept the free ticket for herself and stuck me with paying full price, even though I told her my husband could get us both a good discount.

I haven’t said anything because I imagine she just didn’t think it through and there’s no point falling out over cinema tickets, but I’m still annoyed about it. Obviously I know I’m
not entitled to her free ticket, but she could have saved it for another time instead of denying me my husbands discount?

Bit stingy. People can be stingy.

It is just plain mean of her.
It shows she does not have a giving and sharing nature.

I would probably keep the friendship if it suits me but make sure not to be generous back.

This respond back and say that really sorry but you don’t want to pay for a full price ticket hence the conversation about the discount

Even if my friend weren't skint, I'd still offer to split the ticket. And I know my friends would do the same for me.

I'm not in the UK so correct me if I'm wrong - is a cinema ticket about £8? Is all of this over a £4 saving if you had spit the tickets vs £3.20 if you had used your husbands discount? My guess is that it didn't even cross her mind that there was anything to be annoyed about.

Can you ring up cinema and say your friend bought you a ticket but forgot to apply your discount and can you rebook. They might say no but it's surprising how many people say yes.

Do you make needless comments like this in real life or just on MN for the sake of it? 🫣

massively different than having to pay a fiver for a cinema ticket

It's nearly £15 where I live, depends on he cinemas locally available to you.

But should a friend, a real friend be thoughtless and how can you forget to not be stingy, I don't get that, I think it's just an excuse from those who are mean with money!

Ah so you are just generally awful? I doubt you need to worry about being invited to the cinema, or anywhere else!

From her POV why should she pay 50% when she has a feee ticket?

Well I personally would have asked for 50% of the price of the other ticket so we could both get in cheaper but by the same logic I wouldn’t assume I would get the same offer from a friend who had got a free ticket.

it’s difficult because she hasn’t done anything wrong and I wouldn’t expect her to share but i almost certainly would have shared in the same position so I think it’s just a case of different people having different views.

Just send her half the total price. You offered to get you both the discount but she did it instead . Surely you split the cost whoever books ?

I understand why you are upset, I would have been too. Your friend hasn't registered that money is so tight that saving a few pounds on a cinema ticket is significant for you in a way that it may not be for her, and she didn't decide to share her discount with you just to be friendly. But it's not the end of the world and not worth falling out over.

If only! Tickets where I live in the UK are around £13!

Because the OP was going to get a discount for the both of them, because the OP has described her financial situation at the moment on maternity leave and nursery fees. A Good friend shows their friendliness in harder times, not just through the 'good' times!

I'd always split the voucher in that situation. I went for dinner with a friend once, she picked the restaurant because she had a voucher 'we' could use...used it to pay her half of the meal and I had to pay full whack for mine, in a restaurant I'd never have chosen in the first place!

Reminds me of going shopping years ago with a 'friend', we were both pretty strapped for cash at the time, she assumed if I decided to buy a 2 for 1 offer then the free one was for her, not that she'd pay 50% each for one!

As a friend, I would have split the cost of the paid for ticket.

Could you mention to friend if she can return the paid for ticket and you will re-book with your discount as you are struggling a little financially. That way she may either offer to pay half or she we will just say no problem and you get to re-book with the discount.

Even from her POV why say to the OP they will buy both tickets knowing it will deprive OP of their discount when they've no intention of sharing the benefit of their free ticket. Worse case scenario is they only get their freebee with someone buying a full price ticket. Either way they know the OP is on a budget and the 40% discount is important to them.

Why though? Maybe she thinks the same about you. If she’d done what you wanted she would have had to pay 60% - why would she do that when she has her own free ticket?

She should have been upfront about it then and OP could have decided for herself.

Not a very friendly friend.
"I'm struggling for money, so I'll use the discount, but I'll make sure I get you the same discount."
"SCrew you and your problems, I'm getting in free and you can pay full price."

What a horrible thing for the "friend" to do! If her free ticket was about to expire and you can get a discount that you need right now, the sensible thing that anyone would do is to book simultaneously. You both go online at the same time, agree on the seats, she books the left or right seat with her free ticket and you book the other seat with your husband's discount.

NB I would still do it like this even if you were not cash strapped, @KellyJellyfish. Only an imbecile or a sadistic person would make a friend or acquaintance pay full price when they're already entitled to a discount.

If you both can't book at the same time, I'd still book separately to get the discount if she had to use up her free ticket. it really makes no sense to pay full price. Or, if I were her, use the free ticket another time and get 40% off for both on your discount.

This "friend" is the kind of person who will leave you to drown if there was only one lifeboat left on the Titanic instead of telling you to run with her to get on it, OP! I wouldn't be friends with her for much longer. She's basically scamming you so that she can use up her free ticket! Either that or she's so stupid that her stupidity will get you in trouble/danger in future.

If she did this to me, I would come up with an excuse not to go (she can go find someone else to palm her full price ticket on to) and find something else to do with someone more trustworthy! Bet she'll make you pay for her popcorn, drinks and ice cream during the outing if you went! Sorry you had to find out her true colours like this, but I would offload her now before she gives you more trouble in future. It's not a first world problem- it's a litmus test of whom you can trust. It's not as if she didn't know about your discount or your financial situation.

I was more than happy for her to use her free ticket, but she could have said to me ‘I’ve got a free ticket so just book your own’ then hers would be free and mine would be 40% off, instead she volunteered to book tickets for both of us after I told her I could get us both a discount, and billed me full price for mine.

The two ways this should have gone was either free ticket for her and 40% off for me, or 40% off for us both. Instead she chose free ticket for her and full price for me, that’s the part I’m annoyed about.