Friend not sharing discount?

[KellyJellyfish]

I admit this is a very first world problem, but it’s been bothering me a bit so just thought I’d ask what others think.

I recently came back from mat leave, DD starts nursery in a couple weeks and of course it’s Christmas so money for me is tight and has been for a while.

A friend and me decided we would go to the cinema next week, this is a rare treat for me and I haven’t been to the cinema in several years, it’s not the cheapest experience anymore so I was already planning on forgoing popcorn and drinks to keep the cost down. My friend is aware of my situation, we also work together so she knows about mat leave and how our company only offers statuary, and I’ve been lamenting to her about the cost of nursery fees and how the family is only doing gifts for the kids this year.

Anyway, we’ve settled on a date and time, it’s a popular film so we decided to book together (otherwise we may not get seats together) I suggested to her my husband books the tickets as he gets a 40% discount for friends and family through work, but I mentioned it had been years since he last booked so I will double check with him first if he still gets this discount, she agreed.

Next day rolls around and I forgot to ask husband (turns out yes he does still get the discount), but then friend said don’t worry about it as she’s got a free cinema ticket (from a reward scheme tied to her bank or something) so she’ll take care of booking the tickets. I thanked her and said she should ping me a request for the money and I’ll pay her back.

Well last night I got her text, there was a copy of both our tickets and a money request for one full price ticket for me to pay. I had assumed she was going to share the saving of her free ticket so we’d both pay half price, instead she kept the free ticket for herself and stuck me with paying full price, even though I told her my husband could get us both a good discount.

I haven’t said anything because I imagine she just didn’t think it through and there’s no point falling out over cinema tickets, but I’m still annoyed about it. Obviously I know I’m
not entitled to her free ticket, but she could have saved it for another time instead of denying me my husbands discount?

I guess it was a breakdown in communication here, she agreed to my husband buying the tickets but then later told me about the freebie and said she would book for both of us - why offer to do that if she intended for me to pay full price? She could have just said to me book my own ticket and she’s using her free one, but the way the conversation went she implied her freebie would benefit us both and no need to involve my husband.

YANBU. Very disappointing behaviour from a friend.

Yea that’s not on. I’d reply and remind her that you can get discounted tickets through your DH. Ask her to cancel your full price ticket and you’ll book your own ticket at the reduced price.

She sounds mean of spirit.

If you could afford it, book another film using your husband's discount and ask her for the full price for hers.
If there was any lip pulling over that, I'd drop her. mean of money usually means mean of spirit too.

Those on this thread who agree with her are probably tight and ungenerous too. No decent person would do as she has done and no decent person would agree with her.

That's the fact of it and any me-mowing to the contrary is simply self justification from others of her ilk.

You don't do this to someone you regard a friend.

We had someone do this a few times and no longer invite them out. It got a bit wearing that she was always only looking after her own interests. I have always shared any discounts/freebies and split the cost. I was taught to share from an early age 😁.

I'd have split the cost of the full price ticket.

Given the added backstory of you offering to get her a discounted ticket, I would have assumed the same as you OP and that she would split the cost with you. I think it's pretty mean that she didn't.

Technically it's her discount and she's of course fully entitled to keep it for herself.

But it's mean, I like to think I'd never be so ungenerous to a friend. Especially if I knew funds were tight.

Are you this stingy in real life or just contrary online for the sake of it?

It’s her discount but I think she behaved selfishly if you would share yours. But you forgot so maybe she thought you did it on purpose. I get a discount for several places and always divide the cost when booking with friends it doesn’t worry me.

I don't think you can really say anything tbh. I'd have shared the savings personally but if she doesn't want to you can't really argue it.

'I haven’t said anything'

Well that's your problem!

'Oh Sally, when you said you got one free ticket I though you meant we would split the cost of the other ticket!'

Why can't you say that?

I went to the cinema with my friend and her mum yesterday. Her mum had 2 free tix from her Lloyds bank account. It didn't occur to me to do anything other than transfer the full cost of my ticket to my friend (who booked all 3).

I guess your scenario is slightly different in that you had access to a discount yourself. But if I was in your friend's shoes, I'd probably still rather use my freebie than have 40% off using your discount. Lots of these bank/insurance perks are time sensitive, so her freebie may have been running out soon.

Thoughtless, but perhaps not a dealbreaker. She's possibly having money struggles you don't even know about.

I would go back and say that you are a bit unhappy at paying full price and she gets it free when you could have got some money off using your husbands discount card ask her to get the ticket refunded and buy your own, even if it means sitting apart

I suspect this is thoughtlessness rather than anything else. Often people who aren’t struggling hard financially don’t really comprehend how 4 pounds can make such a big difference to someone. She likely didn’t think as it was a small amount, not realising it was very significant to you. Yes she knew money was tight, but maybe didn’t realise just how tight it was.

Yes agree this, more likely thoughtless than stingy.

Unless she has form I'd put it down to experience.

She is thoughtless and mean. YANBU.

Yanbu. Me and my friend always share the discount.....and take your own snacks in. It's perfectly fine.

I think it depends on the nature of the discount. If it was buy 1 get 1 free, then she is being unreasonable for not sharing the discount, as she is using you to get her discount.

However, if she simply had a free ticket then that's different. Technically you could have booked your tickets separately and each paid for your own.

Agree she should have split the cost. Probably just thoughtless, or worse, mean.

Be aware it is likely she will buy a drink and popcorn for herself, and won't share. So make sure you have your own drink and tasty snacks to take in.

Chalk it up to experience and just buy your own in future, or make sure you are alert to any scenario where you need to split costs with her.

Yet another example of when proper communication and not making assumptions would have resolved the issue before it even happened.

She is selfish and stingy. It didn't even cross her mind to let you know that she wasn't sharing her voucher. If she had written and said, "don't worry about getting your DH discount for my ticket I have a voucher", you'd know to book your own. She made sure she's OK, but not you.
Real friends don't do that!

I had a friend who used to piggy back on the Meerkat cinema 241 tickets. I had a cineworld unlimited membership and she used to join me FOC.

It used to drive me insane! I bought my membership, she should have offered me half her ticket price but never did. She actually bragged to our friendship group that she gets free cinema tickets because she went with me.

No more!

Ask her to cancel your ticket and I will send you my free ticket code off Monzo, you also get 10% off food and drink