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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend not sharing discount?

216 replies

KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 09:56

I admit this is a very first world problem, but it’s been bothering me a bit so just thought I’d ask what others think.

I recently came back from mat leave, DD starts nursery in a couple weeks and of course it’s Christmas so money for me is tight and has been for a while.

A friend and me decided we would go to the cinema next week, this is a rare treat for me and I haven’t been to the cinema in several years, it’s not the cheapest experience anymore so I was already planning on forgoing popcorn and drinks to keep the cost down. My friend is aware of my situation, we also work together so she knows about mat leave and how our company only offers statuary, and I’ve been lamenting to her about the cost of nursery fees and how the family is only doing gifts for the kids this year.

Anyway, we’ve settled on a date and time, it’s a popular film so we decided to book together (otherwise we may not get seats together) I suggested to her my husband books the tickets as he gets a 40% discount for friends and family through work, but I mentioned it had been years since he last booked so I will double check with him first if he still gets this discount, she agreed.

Next day rolls around and I forgot to ask husband (turns out yes he does still get the discount), but then friend said don’t worry about it as she’s got a free cinema ticket (from a reward scheme tied to her bank or something) so she’ll take care of booking the tickets. I thanked her and said she should ping me a request for the money and I’ll pay her back.

Well last night I got her text, there was a copy of both our tickets and a money request for one full price ticket for me to pay. I had assumed she was going to share the saving of her free ticket so we’d both pay half price, instead she kept the free ticket for herself and stuck me with paying full price, even though I told her my husband could get us both a good discount.

I haven’t said anything because I imagine she just didn’t think it through and there’s no point falling out over cinema tickets, but I’m still annoyed about it. Obviously I know I’m
not entitled to her free ticket, but she could have saved it for another time instead of denying me my husbands discount?

OP posts:
LanyardLou · 04/12/2024 11:48

It wouldn’t cross my mind not to share the total cost. What’s wrong with people??

afrikat · 04/12/2024 11:50

I totally get why you're upset OP. Have you paid her back? Could she cancel your ticket and you just buy your own with your discount?

Cailleach1 · 04/12/2024 11:50

KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 10:50

I guess it was a breakdown in communication here, she agreed to my husband buying the tickets but then later told me about the freebie and said she would book for both of us - why offer to do that if she intended for me to pay full price? She could have just said to me book my own ticket and she’s using her free one, but the way the conversation went she implied her freebie would benefit us both and no need to involve my husband.

Show quote history

Is her ticket only free if it is purchased with someone paying for a full price ticket? Then she’s pulling a fast one.

Even if it was a stand alone free ticket, it wasn’t very nice to land you with a full price ticket when she was aware you could buy one with a discount. Why are you the one who has to pay the premium?

You may as well have bought two full price tickets. It’s the same for you anyway.

Chocolattes · 04/12/2024 11:51

I'd never not share with a friend nor would they for me- mean really regardless of the potential discount which makes it more annoying.

WomenWhoWearBlackLeadColourfulLives · 04/12/2024 11:54

Did she need you to book a ticket in order for her to get the free one? I.e one free ticket when you purchase a full price one? Either way I think shes been rude. I always pop to the shop before the cinema to get drinks/snacks and keep costs down- hope you enjoy in the end despite this!

TinkerTiger · 04/12/2024 11:55

YANBU. I have a membership that gets me free entry into many places. When I want company I split the cost of the entry with the person I’m brining. And yes I know no one has to do it, but it’s just nice to do it as a friend.

YourRubyLion · 04/12/2024 11:55

Its an oversight on your part. You forgot to book, then you didnt clarify the costs or how it would be split. Take the hit and forget about it.

TinkerTiger · 04/12/2024 11:56

Accipe · 04/12/2024 11:31

Reminds me of going shopping years ago with a 'friend', we were both pretty strapped for cash at the time, she assumed if I decided to buy a 2 for 1 offer then the free one was for her, not that she'd pay 50% each for one!

No! Please tell me you got the 50% off of her 🙈

holrosea · 04/12/2024 11:56

YANBU - timing aside, whenever I have discounts or freinds have discounts, we share them equally.

I often get "1 free dessert" texts from my local Japanese restaurant and when we pslit the bill, we aplit 50/50, not "my meal and my free dessert".

Same with the old Orange Wednesdays (am I aging myself?!). My ex and I used to go every Wednesday, BOGOF, and we split it.

That feels incredibly mean and rather petty on your friend's part.

GettingThemFromHereToThere · 04/12/2024 11:57

Yanbu, friends share and are generous. You were going to be generous by offering her your husbands discount, despite her not being his family or friend. But she hasn’t offered any generosity.

You still have time to suggest she may want to bring the snacks as you bought the ticket?

tiaa54742025 · 04/12/2024 11:57

Grrrr....I'd grit my teeth, write it off, and go with, however, you now know that your friend is not the kind of friend who would do what you would do to save you both money if you could. Likely you won't be in such a position with her again anyway.

TheBluntTurtle · 04/12/2024 11:57

You weren’t entitled to use her free ticket to subsidise your ticket price, but equally she wasn’t entitled to spend your money on a full price ticket either (especially when she knew you had a 40%discount). Better communication was needed in both sides.
ideally you should have booked separately using your respective discounts, or just got the tickets on the day and paid with your vouchers at the cinema.
hope you enjoy the film!

Cailin66 · 04/12/2024 11:57

KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 10:02

We still had time, they didn’t need to be booked that day. It’s been 3 days since and the cinema is still mostly empty (it’s a popular film but an unpopular time)

Show quote history

Why not book your own ticket with 40% off and she goes with her free ticket?

How much is a cinema ticket?

Christmaslover1952 · 04/12/2024 12:02

Just another perspective - did your friend actually say to you “I’ve used a free ticket offer I had, you have to pay the full amount” or did she send that message of the booking to you assuming you’ll go halves?

Perhaps neither of you have been clear and it’s a grey area. Did you ask if you was paying for the full ticket or half? Because I would just reply “a free ticket is definitely better than the 40% off my husband had - shall I send you half of the total amount requested over?”

CoolPlayer · 04/12/2024 12:04

Maybe she is planning to pay for a snack or drink for you at the cinema, I wouldn’t write her off for this she prob just didn’t think it over at the time x

allthatfalafel · 04/12/2024 12:05

If money is that tight the last thing I'd do is go to the cinema, it's all overpriced and everything is on Netflix within a couple of months. Next time suggest she brings a bottle of wine to yours.

LadyDanburysHat · 04/12/2024 12:06

Friend is a cheeky fucker, and those who are on her side on this thread are just as bad. I can not imagine taking something free and not sharing that with my friend.

ManchesterLu · 04/12/2024 12:11

I don't understand people blaming you for not getting the 40% off. If your friend got a free ticket then sharing that cost would be 50% off for both of you - so the better deal.

I wouldn't ever use that kind of discount without splitting the benefits. I understand perhaps if you're really struggling and couldn't afford to go any other way.

WildFigs · 04/12/2024 12:16

Going against the grain here but I don't think it's strange that she didn't share the free one (although of course it would have been nice if she had). She had one voucher for a free ticket. She could have used it on the trip with you or on another occasion, but it's a single use thing. It's not equivalent to your discount which sounds like it's unlimited use. You sharing your discount would have cost you nothing, but her sharing her voucher would mean she's subsidising you.

Fannyfiggs · 04/12/2024 12:17

Poor show from your friend who is obviously as tight as a gnats chuff in the rainy season.

mcmooberry · 04/12/2024 12:22

I would feel exactly as you do, no wonder you didn't check, anyone would assume that you would split the discount. She is clearly one of life's takers who we read about on MN and who I am always grateful I don't know irl.

Original poster
KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 12:22

WildFigs · 04/12/2024 12:16

Going against the grain here but I don't think it's strange that she didn't share the free one (although of course it would have been nice if she had). She had one voucher for a free ticket. She could have used it on the trip with you or on another occasion, but it's a single use thing. It's not equivalent to your discount which sounds like it's unlimited use. You sharing your discount would have cost you nothing, but her sharing her voucher would mean she's subsidising you.

I understand, but there was no need to subsidise me, she could have used her free ticket and I could have gotten 40% off mine if we’d paid separately, but she said she’d handle booking for the both of us

OP posts:
WildFigs · 04/12/2024 12:23

KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 12:22

I understand, but there was no need to subsidise me, she could have used her free ticket and I could have gotten 40% off mine if we’d paid separately, but she said she’d handle booking for the both of us

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Fair enough, she should have done that.

Kingsleadhat · 04/12/2024 12:24

I think that's a bit I'm alright Jack of her . Mean spirited

BibbityBobbityToo · 04/12/2024 12:25

I would expect a real friend to go 50/50 as that is what I would do for them.