Londoners not giving up seats on tube for pregnant women

[ParkAndRider]

I am 32 weeks pregnant with an obvious large bump and wear a baby on board badge. I commute at rush hour and usually every time I get on board the tube there are no seats available. I see the people sitting glance at me and then look pretend and pretend they haven't noticed. I've just endured another journey standing the whole way feeling tired and dizzy because no one will offer a seat. Yes I could ask but it would feel uncomfortable why can't anyone offer? Surely all the people sitting can't be hiding various disabilities?

I commuted regularly on Piccadilly and lizzy lines when I was pregnant earlier this year/end of last year and never had an issue with people giving their seat up for me when I asked if they required it. Majority of the time they just stood up and moved, some said sorry. No problems at all but I always made sure to ask.

I’ve also travelled on trains from Manchester to Birmingham and the train from London to Brighton. Strangely to me, folk in the south were much more obliging to move for me. I always got right dirty looks in Manchester when I required an accessible seat despite being very visibly pregnant.

Not been pregnant but did break my foot pre Covid when commuting in 5 days a week was the norm. Amazing how many people (usually men dare I say) would suddenly drop their heads and pretend to be asleep when I got on as if it wasn’t blindingly obvious that they weren’t 😂

OP, you won’t change it by moaning about it on here. As everyone has said you simply need to ask for a seat (as PP said, don’t ask anyone specific, just ask the carriage) or put up without one. I’ve never had a problem doing this. You seem hellbent on not asking because it’s not fair that you have to - it’s not the hill to die on - just get over it and ask (or don’t, but don’t then moan).

Oh fuck off

Just to make a point- not everyone using the tube is a 'Londoner'.

London is multi cultural and plenty of people in London have been brought up in far flung corners of the country.

It's nothing to do with it being 'London'.

I also think that some men are genuinely confused because women have gone on about 'equality 'for so long that they are sometimes afraid of doing the wrong thing (even when it's the right thing!) And no, men can't become pregnant, but you take my point.

A sure way to be unhappy in life is to decide for yourself how other people ought to behave, according to you, and then be upset when they don’t. Especially in this case where a very simple remedy is offered by simply asking the carriage at large. If you don’t do that, it’s your choice to suffer.

Definitely use a baby on board badge. It's how I know that you do want a seat and early on saves awkwardness around 'is she, isn't she'.

Also make sure you are in people's line of sight (crush allowing!) and that you make eye contact if they do. Lots of times I've tried from my seat when I think it's a person who might want a seat. Often they are staring into the distance. Once I make eye contact a quick gesture is all that's needed to establish if they want the seat or not.

Never had to do this but I would also hate to ask! Just think about it like you're asking for your baby not you and just say it. Pricks

@StrawberrySquash as mentioned I do wear a badge which I agree means shoes that you need a seat. People ignore it though.

But it doesn't mean you need a seat. It shows why you may need a seat.

To be honest, I don't see the point of the badges unless they give you more confidence to speak up. If you're feeling faint or whatever, just ask a person sitting. This would apply if you were pregnant or not.

Born and raised Londoner. Pregnant no seats offered, once I got a seat by accident. Then angry pregnant lady yelled at me because she was due in 8 weeks or something. I said sorry maybe the man next to me would offer. She was adamant I move, it was a Friday and I was due on the Monday 😂 I didn't have a badge on because I felt my choice to have a baby isn't a reason to make others give me a seat, but I was a turnip back then and suffered silently. Through the whole 9 months I didn't get a seat offered once but idk, not mad about it. Sat on the floor of south west trains it was back then idk what they call themselves now because no seats available and I felt really off. People still didn't offer even when belly obvious.

However, when I had crutches, I swear immediately the whole damn carriage offering. OP. Get some crutches. Just use crutches your whole pregnancy. Clearly a badge isn't working, you're...not willing to ask? Idk you need to work on that...or ... grab some crutches. Hobble on. I'm talking tourists getting up, making space. Londoners. MEN! Crutches. They're better than a badge.

I disagree with the PP who said pregnancy only counts as an illness/disability at the end. I found it was worse in the first trimester with morning sickness. But I did wear a baby on board badge and asked out loud for a seat then, because it wouldn't have been obvious.

When it is obvious, I think people should just know to give up their seats. It's one of those little things that makes society flow a little better - now that I'm not pregnant anymore I give up seats for the elderly/disabled and it gives me a warm feeling, and I assume they also feel grateful for the seat, and we all feel closer together. We lost that - in return for what, I don't know.

Okay and you’ve recognised that people don’t give a fuck so where do we go from here? If you don’t say, ‘please can I sit down’ then you’re unlikely to get to sit as people are dicks. You shouldn’t have to ask but you clearly need to.

You’ll decide whether you want to ask or stand the whole journey until a seat becomes available

I found this when I was on crutches too. It was actually quite annoying because it was far more of a faff to wrangle my crutches, bag and busted ankle into a seat and then out of it again than to just find a good standing angle I could balance at.

I've witnessed people getting up to give pregnant/injured/elderly people a seat on the Tube many, many times, so I don't believe entire carriages refusing to do so is commonplace. However what is very commonplace is the majority of Tube passengers shutting off and being completely unaware of anyone else getting on or off, let alone whether they're pregnant. It's a necessary means of surviving the journey.

OP, you say “you shouldn’t have to ask,” - ok well that hasn’t worked out for you so far. Maybe rather than operating in a world of “shoulds”, just ask for a seat and you will receive.

Ugh sorry OP, I had the same problem. I had to sit on the floor because I almost passed out numerous times before I was offered. Before anyone says I should have asked, I feel almost embarrassed to because of the way some people react to giving theirs up, they make it look like such a chore and I don't want to be a Karen

Yep. I’m in a wheelchair and have lost count of the times people have refused to move a pram/pushchair out of the designated disabled space.

I was pregnant on crutches, very obviously disabled and people didn’t care at all!

Pregnancy isn’t a disability. The definition of disability under the Equality Act 2010 is an illness or health condition that has a substantial impact on everyday life and is expected to last 12 months or more. Pregnancy has it’s own protections under the Act.

I think people have become epically self centred and selfish sadly. It's also quite likely that anyone getting up to give you a seat will be knocked sideways by two oblivious people racing to fill the spot.

It's not confined to London Underground. I got a train recently and an elderly man was standing in a corridor at the exit [by choice as plenty of seats] with his rollator. When the train pulled into the station he slowly got out of the train and then turned to try and pull out his walking aid. The platform was about a foot lower than the step out of the train. At least 5/6 people queuing to get out, walked straight past the door and got out at the one adjacent so they neither had to wait for him to disembark or offer assistance to him. Mind blowing.

I also saw two elderly couples in their mid to late 70's stand in the aisle of a packed intercity train [no reservations possible] for 1.5hrs while seats around them were filled with teenagers, young adults in 20's and 30's. As much as I'd hate to be standing for that length of time and had equally paid for my ticket for a shoddy train service I'd be utterly ashamed of myself not to offer.

@gannett 100% people just shutting off on tubes, I do the same. Head down and mind my business. I didn't look too pregnant as I'm tall so I was quite small, but crutches were hard to miss 😂
When i got on with crutches I'd never seen Londoners so kind tbh but before that I'd always been able bodied. Oooo before tubes were nightly on weekends I'd return home from central on the morning tube and did have kind Londoners help me keep pizza in the box. They became all night or whatever once I had a kid 😭 all the night buses, all the casinos until first tube 😭 ah well. Hah memories. These days it's by car most places.

You don’t have to ask individuals to give up their seats. You navigate your way to the middle of the seated part of the carriage and say loud enough for the people sitting to hear “would anyone mind letting me sit down?”

Worked for me every time.

Thanks, I'll add this to my list of things that annoy me about the Equality Act 2010. Why would this of all things be the final word in what "disability" means? And isn't it obvious that although pregnancy itself may not be a disability, it often is the direct cause of any number of temporarily disabling conditions, which justify treating the pregnant woman, temporarily, as disabled, and that this is what people mean when they say it?

@ForgottenPasswordNewAccount it is not about tiredness. You have bad balance when pregnant and easy to fall down. An accident like this can be dangerous for the baby. Also most pregnant women in the beginning of pregnancy they have severe nausea and later they have severe hip and back pain. Being middle age does not mean being unwell. Whoever is unwell should wear a badge.

I always got a seat except when very packed as people can't see - you need to shout out 'in very pregnant can someone give up a seat please?'