Londoners not giving up seats on tube for pregnant women

[ParkAndRider]

I am 32 weeks pregnant with an obvious large bump and wear a baby on board badge. I commute at rush hour and usually every time I get on board the tube there are no seats available. I see the people sitting glance at me and then look pretend and pretend they haven't noticed. I've just endured another journey standing the whole way feeling tired and dizzy because no one will offer a seat. Yes I could ask but it would feel uncomfortable why can't anyone offer? Surely all the people sitting can't be hiding various disabilities?

Everybody is on their phones now and in their own worlds. When I was pregnant I used to try to grab a seat becoming free, if they are all occupied you have to go to the clearly marked priority seat and ask nicely ”excuse me do you mind if I sit down”. With the best will in the world not everyone is scanning all the time to see if a person in need just got on the tube. It would be nice, but people are busy and so are tube trains. Just ask and you will be given! If it’s so packed and you are squashed by doors then nobody can really see and that is more difficult granted.

I am surprised at the OP - in both of my pregnancies I was commuting by tube daily and people leaped up for me on the tube every time I wore the badge (and sometimes when I didn't, although understandably people are more nervous about assuming pregnancy without the badge). I literally never had a bad experience. I will note that at rush hour in particular and especially in the evening (when people are tired) people may not notice the badge. I think it is completely fine to say brightly, sorry is there a seat available. I am certain people will move and I absolutely do not think that there is a conspiracy of healthy people who don't want to give up their seat for pregnant women.

Now I'm older I get offered seats all the time by both young men and women. Can't say I've seen too much bad behaviour on the tube. It's the school kids who really take the biscuit for being incredibly inconsiderate, barging past to plonk themselves in a seat. Obviously manners are not taught at school.

I was once seated heavily pregnant, and went to help an old woman who dropped something and an abled bodied man took my seat from behind me - kicking my bag. London has turned into a horrible place

Read all of your comments and couldn’t agree with you more. Some people are selfish and inconsiderate.

I’d be tempted to say pretty loudly:

“I’m quite obviously heavily pregnant and it is uncomfortable standing, would anyone who doesn’t NEED their seat be considerate enough to please give up their seat?”

I actually think people are generally good at offering up seats on the tube. I think the worst offenders are tourists who don’t realise that they’re sitting in a special seat.

Don't ask an individual for a seat. Ask the carriage for one:
"Sorry to bother you all, I'm pregnant and not feeling too great, would anyone mind giving me a seat please?" Then there's no pretending that they haven't noticed.

Oh gosh I agree! I have been really sick for the first half of my pregnancies. Will never forget asking a lady in a priority seat if I could have a seat as I felt really unwell standing and swaying. I didn’t explain that I was pregnant as I was only about 8 weeks and it felt odd to tell a stranger something barely any of my friends and family knew. She said no. I sat on the floor and vomited in my bag before I had the chance to get off. Embarrassing for both of us I think.

Will never forget asking a lady in a priority seat if I could have a seat as I felt really unwell standing and swaying. I didn’t explain that I was pregnant as I was only about 8 weeks and it felt odd to tell a stranger something barely any of my friends and family knew. She said no. I sat on the floor and vomited in my bag before I had the chance to get off. Embarrassing for both of us I think

Did it ever occur to you, just as you felt odd telling a stranger why you needed the seat, so you didn’t, she was exactly the same and felt odd telling you, a stranger, why she also needed the seat, so she didn’t. Why do you think people don’t have the same feelings as you do?

You should never ask an individual due to this reason, but you should absolutely ask, addressed to the general audience of seats.

I suspect people no longer offer their seat because a) They l worry the woman might not actually be pregnant, just carrying extra weight, and don't want to risk offending them. And b) Because they have indeed offered in the past and the woman in question has snapped back something like: 'I dont need help, I'm pregnant, not an invalid'!

It could be either of these things - or both!

I commuted daily on the tube with 2 pregnancies. I was always offered a seat, or I'd ask and it was never an issue. This was always during rush hour. Don't hold back OP, no need to suffer. People will happily give you a seat. I have issues with my eye sight and don't always have my glasses to hand and might miss your badge even though I look in your general direction. People are lost in their own world quite often or too engrossed on their phones.

That's not true really.

Many pregnant women don't need a seat, but after a bloody long working day and then being on a packed tube train, they'll want a seat just like every other knackered person.

Plus if they do actually need a seat one day, it doesn't mean they'll need it the next, but they're not going to remove the badge are they?

I'd happily stand if a pregnant woman asked for my seat, but I wouldn't necessarily offer it just because they're wearing a badge that anyone can wear and no-one's going to question.

However, if I saw an elderly person standing or someone on crutches I'd stand up without being asked.

That is a good approach.
I was sat on a packed bus, and targeted by an older lady who said she needed a seat. I also needed a seat, but because I had no voice at time, I was just tutted at by the other passengers (of which none offered their seat).

I find myself with a weird conundrum with regards to priority seating. I have an invisible disability which causes a lot of pain. I know that In theory I am entitled to use priority seats, and it would make my journey, and the rest of my day less painful.However, ultimately it is just pain, it is not going to kill me. I am very aware that elderly and pregnant people are likely to have poorer balance. Also, if elderly or pregnant people fall it could potentially be more dangerous. As a result, I just suck it up.
Note, I am not suggesting that other people do the same, I am purely talking about my own situation.
Also, when I refer to "elderly and pregnant people" I am not diving into the gender debate, merely attempting not to sound grammatically clumsy.

I hope people don't think Londoners are like this. We are not.

London is full of people from around the world, so it's people who are in London not giving up their seats and not necessarily Londoners themselves!

I took the train into London this morning - a woman was standing by the door, I noticed her beautiful glossy hair - she looked a bit down but who doesn’t during a commute, she did not look pregnant - a little while later she got a seat and I was horrified to see that she was wearing a baby on board badge and she looked in quite a lot of discomfort, I felt awful for her sometimes you just don’t see that badge. A lot of people have their heads stuck in phones.

Disgusting suggestion. Pregnancy isn’t a disability. I think this is one of the most entitled threads l’ve ever seen.

It’s the final word because disabled people have fought long and hard for a legal definition of disability. The Equality Act does just that. It also protects the rights of pregnant women pretty much in the way you describe. Pregnancy is not disability.

Just ask. I always did and got a seat with no problem although once a man asked why and I had to tell him I was pregnant. I also ask people to give up their seats if I see someone who needs it more than them. Just ask.

This is something pricks regularly do to disabled people sat in the priority seating seate.

I remember standing on a commuter train in London heavily pregnant and when a seat became free one of the other passengers made an effort to beat me to it.

My approach was to try and avoid peak hours although appreciate that isn't always possible.

I have a hidden disability now and you might think I am ignoring you but if I am sitting I won't be offering it up.

I understand why you might not want to ask and that might not yield results either. Any chance you could alter your travel times?

Afraid you’re going to have to ask, or stand. Most people don’t want to stand and so pretend they haven’t seen. Just ask a group, would anyone be able to offer this heavily pregnant lady a seat? Someone will get up.

I think people must carry differently becuse I never had this problem, if I did I'd rub my belly and someone would offer 😂. Maybe I just looked awful.

People often claim noone helps with prams either but I think people are always really helpful!

You really just need to ask, you will find that someone even in the middle seats will get up for you.
Some people are rude but most just don’t notice.
I work for LUL and when I was heavily pregnant in uniform commuting into Central London I asked for a seat, I got told by one person that I wasn't entitled because I got free travel 😣

Twenty one years ago I was 8 months pregnant at a train station (not London) train was delayed for 40 minutes. There were no spare benches. Nobody offered me a seat. They even watched me sit on the floor. I was very obviously very pregnant. Some people are just selfish idiots. Always have been and sadly always will be. I hope you have more luck on your next journey.