To think this is neglectful?

[newtothis0]

DP has two young girls with his ex whom he sees for one day/night at the weekend. He always takes them to do something fun and therefore baths them in the evening to make sure they go home clean so as not to get an earful from their mum.

Neither of these girls have had their hair cut, ever. It is pretty much down to their lower back and despite copious amounts of conditioner, masks, leave in products, etc, their hair gets so matted because the ends are broken and frayed. It takes 30 minutes or so each to detangle their hair without hurting them.

Their mum will outright refuse to allow their hair to be cut (she has very long hair herself) and for reasons I won't elaborate on here, DP is not prepared to go against her wishes, which I understand. However, AIBU to think that she is verging on neglect by allowing their hair to reach such a poor condition for the sake of vanity?

Exactly

why aren’t you telling him not to be a deadbeat ?

Why aren’t you reading the thread ? OP says there are ongoing shared custody proceedings, but ex is difficult so they are treading carefully.

Why are people fixating on this without reading the thread, or at least OP’s updates. There are ongoing legal proceedings for more contact, but OP says ex is difficult so they have to tread carefully.

Having read the OP and all the updates I don’t see contradictions. I see an OP who posted for advice because she’s concerned about the state of their hair, and has worked at trying to resolve it. She didn’t say anything about hero dad or bitch ex wife. She said there are ongoing legal proceedings for custody so didn’t want to go into detail about the back story. This is MN, so that’s automatically translated into deadbeat dad only wants his kids one night a week. As evidenced by so many posters saying exactly the same thing.

Goodness, art thou this condescending in real life?
I took umbrage at yet another sweeping generalisation about Autistic children.
However, your teenage shark clearly evidences the homogeneity of Autistic people. 🙄

Op ive not read all the replys,but id get some banana hair food and wide tooth comb wash there hair leave the hair food in a about 10mins bush there hair while the hairfood is still in then rinse out and platt the hair for bed.