To say something now or leave it to see if I hear from the school - DD misgendered a teacher

[EvilsElsasPetSnowman]

DD is 11 in year 7. She had a non-binary teacher who she has to refer to as ‘Mx Surname’ (pronounced Mix). When she started she said “It’s obvious she’s a woman as she has boobs and a woman’s voice” but that they were told they must only refer to her as Mx. She thought it was a load of nonsense (as do I) but I told her that it’s best not to ruffle feathers and just go along with it because I don’t want her to be in trouble but I thought I’d have to keep a beady eye out for any problems.

On Friday afternoon she came back from school panicking because she accidentally called this teacher Miss when doing the register. They have to say “Here Mx” when their names are called and she said “Here Miss”. The teacher said “Really DDName, I have been your teacher for 12 weeks now, you know my pronouns!” And moved on. DD said she (DD) went bright red and felt embarrassed.

I have gone back and forth over the weekend, I’m really torn between saying something and leaving it because I don’t want DD to be a target because I’ve pissed a teacher off, or just be labelled a horrible bigot (let’s face it school will not see my POV). It’s a subject she absolutely adores as well so I don’t want her to have any backlash because she struggles with certain subjects and so lives for the few she enjoys including this one.

So Im wondering if I should email the school saying children should not be shamed for “misgendering”, this person is an adult and should be a bit more resilient and not expect children to put aide their subconscious and shirk reality, or should I wait to see if there’s any backlash before doing that? Obviously if there is I’ll defend DD to the hilt but I am thinking about getting ahead of the game as the whole thing really pisses me off.

YABU = say something now
YANBU = wait it out

I mean teachers can't be compelled to use children's preferred pronouns, so a suggestion that a child CAN be compelled is complete and utter nonsense.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/trans-guidance-schools-pronouns-sunak-b2466502.html

My Dsis’s initials were MS and was constantly miss-titled Ms AngrymumsDsis. She was actually a Dr (phd) as are both my other DSis and I although ours are honorary. Just to confuse things further I use Miss in my professional capacity.
Now I’m retired maybe I’ll insist on R’td Miss(Dr) Angrymum from now on.

We had to call our teacher Ms instead of Mrs after her divorce, I few people misspoke but we did all get used to it in the end. Could have been a slip of the tongue.

From the Government Guidance

https://educationhub.blog.gov.uk/2023/12/19/gender-questioning-children-guidance-schools-colleges/

children and teachers shouldn’t be made to use ‘preferred pronouns’. Instead, alternatives should be found, such as using first names and bullying mustn’t be tolerated.

Funny that some people are still clinging to the belief that genderists have more rights than everyone else.

Of course the teacher has the right to express her belief in gender ideology if she wants.

Of course the pupil has the right to express that she doesn't believe in gender ideology if she wants.

The teacher can't abuse her position of power to try to force children into pretending to agree with her.

But it's nonsense. Obviously really important to this woman but I wouldn't encourage it.

There are 9 protected characteristics. Gender reassignment is one. Sex is one.

There's no hierarchy that says any one characteristic is more important than the others, no matter what genderists try to claim.

But it's nonsense. There are two sexes.

I'm as GC as they come but I'd let this one go, it doesn't sound like a proper telling off and probably not worth the angst. Your view is being skewed because of your personal feelings, which I understand but this probably isn't the right fight.

No one has claimed humans can change sex.

People change their gender, because gender is different from biological sex and is a social concept. Societies in other parts of the world have 3 or more genders, not just male or female.

That's why the word transgender is used and not transsexual.

The teacher sounds awful. I'd probably go with your daughter's wishes on how to deal with it. But if you hear from the school I'd back your daughter 100% and highlight that shaming children who make a mistake is not acceptable behaviour from a teacher.

What an incredibly good point. @EvilsElsasPetSnowman I’d write adding this to the school.

it is Brighton right?

You can pop on a dress but you’re still Dave.

I think the real reason 'transgender' is used not 'transsexual' is because the 'transwoman' umbrella was opened to include:
a, former transexuals - mostly gay men who had dysphoria about their bodies and often had surgery - around 3% of today's transwomen
b, former cross dressers - mostly straight men who are only too happy to have a penis - around 97% of today's transwomen

Local press.

And the debate on this and associated issues are ongoing nationally & internationally; no new campaign necessary.

Anyway, no one's "starting a campaign stopping her from using her chosen honorific" - it's other people using it, that she shouldn't be able to force (let alone upbraid kids who accidentally forget to use it).

People change their gender, because gender is different from biological sex and is a social concept

Gender and biological sex are linked, they do not separate cleanly & neatly like that

Mention of the Equality Act arose when pp said they'd go to the press and start a national campaign to prevent the teacher from using her chosen honorific.

Pp didn't say that, and mention of the equality act didn't "arise" on its own.

Teachers are frequently ‘misgendered’ female teachers getting called Sir or being called Mum. Are they being punished for that?
If a teacher changed from being a miss to a Mrs and the child called them Miss would they be punished. No.
so they shouldn’t be in these circumstances.

This is all actually quite tricky to deal with, I think upon reflection. To many, the Mx is nonsense but if the teacher is allowed to use it, if it's protected then to argue with the school about its use could create enormous waves.
I think I'd be tempted to tell you daughter to go along with it but not everyone believes in 'genders' as opposed to sexes. What a tricky one.

I really don’t know why some people go into teaching if they are so easily offended.
I was accidentally called ‘Sir’, yet I didn’t bang on about a child ‘misgendering’ me.

Kids slip up. Sometimes they say things they shouldn’t. Sometimes they genuinely forget and go into autopilot. Teaching is not a job for the easily offended or those without a bit of resilience. You’ve got to be able to let things wash over you a bit.

Have you posted about this on TikTok previously? The story signs a bell.

Yes.

The use of the Mx. in the first place (have never once heard of it before) combined with this pedantry towards a child suggest this woman has "issues".

Issues she should not be inflicting on children.

She deserves to have every child in the class identify differently from their biological sex (and perhaps switch that up every now and then) and for the school to insist that she uses their pronouns (since they're insisting the children use her honorific) and see how she enjoys that. Then they can upbraid her if she accidentally gets it wrong. "I've been your pupil for 12 weeks Mx, do you really not know my pronouns!".

The school should never have entertained this to begin with, or they should have changed everyone to just "teacher".

Societies in other parts of the world have 3 or more genders, not just male or female.

Possibly because it's easier than for that society to accept or condone homosexuality.

Like so - what?

Non binary isn't a religion 🙄