To say something now or leave it to see if I hear from the school - DD misgendered a teacher

[EvilsElsasPetSnowman]

DD is 11 in year 7. She had a non-binary teacher who she has to refer to as ‘Mx Surname’ (pronounced Mix). When she started she said “It’s obvious she’s a woman as she has boobs and a woman’s voice” but that they were told they must only refer to her as Mx. She thought it was a load of nonsense (as do I) but I told her that it’s best not to ruffle feathers and just go along with it because I don’t want her to be in trouble but I thought I’d have to keep a beady eye out for any problems.

On Friday afternoon she came back from school panicking because she accidentally called this teacher Miss when doing the register. They have to say “Here Mx” when their names are called and she said “Here Miss”. The teacher said “Really DDName, I have been your teacher for 12 weeks now, you know my pronouns!” And moved on. DD said she (DD) went bright red and felt embarrassed.

I have gone back and forth over the weekend, I’m really torn between saying something and leaving it because I don’t want DD to be a target because I’ve pissed a teacher off, or just be labelled a horrible bigot (let’s face it school will not see my POV). It’s a subject she absolutely adores as well so I don’t want her to have any backlash because she struggles with certain subjects and so lives for the few she enjoys including this one.

So Im wondering if I should email the school saying children should not be shamed for “misgendering”, this person is an adult and should be a bit more resilient and not expect children to put aide their subconscious and shirk reality, or should I wait to see if there’s any backlash before doing that? Obviously if there is I’ll defend DD to the hilt but I am thinking about getting ahead of the game as the whole thing really pisses me off.

YABU = say something now
YANBU = wait it out

"Please tell me precisely how that PC gives a teacher the right to compel her students to call her Mx? "

Workplace protections from discrimination, including use of preferred pronouns.

NEU advice that is more recent and comprehensive.

I don't think your campaign will get very far tbh.

I think I’d leave it to be honest. Not worth the escalation, when that teacher is clearly ridiculous. I would tell your DD that she is within her rights to say “here” at the register rather than subscribe to this teacher’s nonsense.

Bring it on. Get the teacher to try to claim against the 11 year old child who refuses to go along with compelled speech.

The Equality Act won't help them.

This is nonsense.

Ops DD will be acutely aware of the teachers pronouns, gender is a hot topic and overdone in schools to the point that they are frightened to use anything other than there/them for fear of being told off.
The issue is this new invention of Mx, which is so close to Miss that it is likely to slip off the tongue. Mix is not an easy word to apply as an honorific. It has taken me 40 yrs to get my tongue around Ms and now they want to throw in another one.
If non-binary women use Mix what do non-binary men use? I assume they use the same honorific since they are non binary as well.
I wonder what would happen if we just did away with honorifics and used a teachers Christian name or surname to address them. It would make life much easier.
Edited to change Mex to Mix although the plural of Meh is probably Mex a word every parent is familiar with and could be applied to this subject.

Pronouns aren't part of the equality act. Especially Mx.

"But there's no suggestion the teacher here is trans. Just that they use a gender neutral honorific."

Nobody knows this teacher's gender do they? Not op, or her dd, or you. And she is protected from having to disclose this.

The protected characteristic of gender reassignment includes people who identify as gender fluid or non binary.

"Bring it on. Get the teacher to try to claim against the 11 year old child who refuses to go along with compelled speech. "

No one has suggested a teacher claims against a child.

Mention of the Equality Act arose when pp said they'd go to the press and start a national campaign to prevent the teacher from using her chosen honorific.

So how can they compel an 11 child to call them their preferred pronoun?

They can't.

The suggestion that they can somehow use the Equality Act to do this is a complete and utter lie.

The 11 year old child is not their employer.

And your suggestion that they should be able to do this is utterly Orwellian.

You cannot impose your beliefs on others.

This 💯

More or less unscientific than saying humans can change sex?

Most of them do that anyway, tbh.

It's easy to mix up 'Mix' and 'Miss'. The teacher needs to be a bit more resilient, and shouldn't have told off your daughter.

I would write to the school, and make it plain I don't want my child forced to pretend to go along with her teacher's religious beliefs.

Aha ha ha

Everyone knows this persons gender and sex, female

Gender reassignment is protected yes. However saying you are non binary is not, nor is saying you are transgender.

So how precisely would the Equality Act help the teacher to prevent a newspaper campaign against compelled speech for minors?

I would just leave it. Mistakes happen. It’s best to move on. Main thing is to reassure your DD that mistakes happen. Accidental misgendering isn’t a big deal.

Bit weird for a grown up to expect children to play along with their delusion. But I would bite my tongue OP unfortunately and play the game. Putting your head above the parapet isn’t a good idea at the moment.

"Gender reassignment is protected yes. However saying you are non binary is not, nor is saying you are transgender."

Yes it is. This was tested in the Landrover case.

No they’re not.

When I’m in court I’m called Your Worship, when dealing with one of my clients I call them Lord.

If I was referred to as ‘you’ or if I called him ‘Mr’, it would be rude and disrespectful and nothing to do with our respective sexes or genders.

The same as calling me Julie when my name is June. Fine if it’s a mistake, disrespectful if it’s not.

It’s fine to choose your title, and I’m supportive of anyone who chooses a title that doesn’t immediately announce their irrelevant marital status or sex - because why should it. I do have an issue with someone making me pretend their sex is not what it is. That’s just not what has happened here, even if it is rooted in trans ideology, no one is being asked to denounce sex. It’s the same as I would likely address a priest as Father despite having absolutely no belief in his God.

No, this nonsense is over. By the time her daughter is an adult nobody will pandering to these people's delusions any more.

This is the decision of a first tier Employment Tribunal.

It is therefore not binding on other tribunals who may find differently.

I cannot believe that it has any impact on compelling the speech of school children.

"So how precisely would the Equality Act help the teacher to prevent a newspaper campaign against compelled speech for minors?"

The Equality Act was mentioned when a pp said they would fight the school, go to the press and stop the teacher from using their preferred honorific.

I think the Equality Act would be more likely to support the school's position in that scenario. I think the parent would look like a bigoted loon. It would have to be tested of course - go for it.

This has got me thinking. If a person was lucky enough to get a title such as Lord or Lady, how would they be able to neutralise any gender inference. Would they be recognised as Lard?

I have no doubt it will be tested.

As I've stated your jaguar case is a first tier employment tribunal case from 4 years ago so does not set a binding legal precedent.

The times are a - changing.

Edited to add, I think you are misrepresenting this it is not the teachers choice of honorific that's the issue, they can call themselves what they want. What they can't do is compel others to go along with it.

You seriously think a court of law would compel a child to use preferred pronouns? You think you're on the right side of this argument?