To say something now or leave it to see if I hear from the school - DD misgendered a teacher

[EvilsElsasPetSnowman]

DD is 11 in year 7. She had a non-binary teacher who she has to refer to as ‘Mx Surname’ (pronounced Mix). When she started she said “It’s obvious she’s a woman as she has boobs and a woman’s voice” but that they were told they must only refer to her as Mx. She thought it was a load of nonsense (as do I) but I told her that it’s best not to ruffle feathers and just go along with it because I don’t want her to be in trouble but I thought I’d have to keep a beady eye out for any problems.

On Friday afternoon she came back from school panicking because she accidentally called this teacher Miss when doing the register. They have to say “Here Mx” when their names are called and she said “Here Miss”. The teacher said “Really DDName, I have been your teacher for 12 weeks now, you know my pronouns!” And moved on. DD said she (DD) went bright red and felt embarrassed.

I have gone back and forth over the weekend, I’m really torn between saying something and leaving it because I don’t want DD to be a target because I’ve pissed a teacher off, or just be labelled a horrible bigot (let’s face it school will not see my POV). It’s a subject she absolutely adores as well so I don’t want her to have any backlash because she struggles with certain subjects and so lives for the few she enjoys including this one.

So Im wondering if I should email the school saying children should not be shamed for “misgendering”, this person is an adult and should be a bit more resilient and not expect children to put aide their subconscious and shirk reality, or should I wait to see if there’s any backlash before doing that? Obviously if there is I’ll defend DD to the hilt but I am thinking about getting ahead of the game as the whole thing really pisses me off.

YABU = say something now
YANBU = wait it out

I think you do, because you apparently can't find words to describe myself and other posters who disagree with you, without breaking this forum's talk guidelines.

And I don't need one to describe your behaviour either ..... But I have the sense and maturity not to break talk guidelines.

What an utter knobhead she is.
The Teacher that is.

Yep.

Sounds like an absolute arse.

As I get older I'm starting to worry about tripping over them!!

decent when I was younger, but gaining that spaniels ears look now!

AIUI Mx is non gendered and can be used by people who do not want their sex (or gender) to be evident from their pronoun. I've come across it a couple of times with clients with a female voice and at least once somebody who sounded male - I work entirely on the phone so never see people face to face.

But that is irrelevant, verging on farcical, when you're interacting with someone in person.

And even not in person, note that you identified their voices as "female" and "male".

Yes, I'd do this.

Although my feminist self would I admit be so pissed off I'd be seeing the teacher after school and saying in no uncertain terms will my daughter be gaslit to deny reality and I've instructed my daughter she can only call you Miss or Ms, she nor I will call you Mx, and that's final. And if there is any pushback on my daughter such as unfair grades, I will go over the heads and to the Dept and the media. I would not stand for my daughter being gaslit like this. That vindictive vile teacher would be getting an earful from me!

I don't get thr problem. Your DD accidentally said miss not mix, the teacher politely said something like "tut tut you know my pronouns" (which is true) and moved on... why would you need to raise this with the school??

I think that anyone who is so fragile that they need to force children to validate how they want to think of themselves, they shouldn't really be teachers.

It didn’t take much stooping, believe me.

Yet you're the only one debating on here who has stooped to calling others "idiots" and now doubled down on it with "po faced head girl" and "pathetic".

Ah, I've only just seen this gem from you.

Christ, you really are the place brains came to die.

The teacher has the right (as any man does) not to share her marital status with the class

That's what 'Ms' is for.

To me it’s a totally different issue to enforcing your pronouns on someone else, or denying sex as a reality

That's what using 'mx' does. Its a 'nonbinary' term and denies sex as a reality. Ms doesn't.

Oh for goodness sake! This nonsense shouldn't be allowed in schools. Absolutely go in and complain. It must cause these poor kids so much anxiety.

So it’s okay for you to call people liars, but what I’ve said is somehow beyond the pale?

I don't think the teacher made a big deal of it at all. She said a single, polite sentence. I have no idea what a parent could possibly complain about in that interaction.

Post where I called anyone a liar.

Christ, you really are the place brains came to die.

The irony.

It simply does not deny sex as a reality.

It just says the user wants a pronoun that's not defined by their sex. You may think that's ridiculous when sex is self evident from voice/appearance etc but that doesn't give you the right to deny other people the choice.

You sound exactly like my bosses in the early eighties, men born in the twenties and thirties, who would not accept Ms as a legitimate pronoun.

Conflating it with the GC debate is barmy.

This story is such obvious made up bait!
“Really DDName, I have been your teacher for 12 weeks now, you know my pronouns!” 3/10, try harder next time.

If you only have that teacher once a week, 12 weeks is nothing. Especially if 98% of the time you're say Mr or Miss/Mrs, and you never call anyone else Mx, ever. As OP said she didn't do it on purpose. The teacher is being rude and disrespectful for DEMANDING a child adhere to her religious ideology, making it a point, and listening in so closely to catch kids out so she has something to complain about.

It's not about any of that though. It's about a teacher humiliating a child over a mistake, slip of the tongue!!

I wonder how many 'slips of the tongue' the teacher has to deal with in a day from kids being deliberately provocative?

Pronouns are solely based on sex.

No child should be used to prop up someone's fantasy or fetish.