Pissed off DH dismisses my name ideas

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Currently pregnant with DC1. My favourite boys name since I was a child was “Sebastian” which he knew before I was even pregnant. He said he hated it - couldn’t give a reason, to the point where it felt like he’d once said that so felt like he had to double down.

I’m now pregnant with a girl and I’ve spent a lot of time researching and coming up with name ideas. It just so happens every name I like DH apparently “hates”. So far I’ve suggested seven names I love:

• Margot - ugly, hates it
• Ophelia - horrible, hates it
• Clementine - awful, hates it
• Octavia - cars name, ridiculous
• Etta - doesn’t even sound like a real name, awful
• Penelope - sounds old fashioned, hates it

A few days ago I came across (and fell in love with) the name Ottilie. It’s unusual but classic, feminine and pretty. I thought it would be uncontroversial! I told him I’d found another name I love and before I even told him what it was he was rolling his eyes like “oh god, here we go”. Before I told him I said “you don’t have to respond straight away when I tell you, just take some time to think about it” - thinking that his automatic reaction seems to be to dismiss the names I suggest but if he thinks about it he might actually like it!

Of course as soon as I said it he said it he said “that is awful, I’m not calling my child otter”. I said “it’s Ottilie, the NN could be Tilly” then he starts telling a story about a pregnant 17 year old called Tilly (he has a public facing job).

He says I’m over-reacting to be annoyed just because he doesn’t like a name but I feel utterly depressed. He brings nothing to the table but it feels like before I even suggest something he’s made his mind up not to like it which feels so disrespectful. I also want to have a name I love, not just settle for something and it feels like I’ve exhausted all those names having gone through thousands to pick out the ones I love.

I feel like most men would be so much more laid back about girl’s names and let their wife take the lead, unless it’s something they truly hate - but how can he truly hate every name I come up with!

Sorry I'm with him, I think all your choices are pretty awful.
What does he like?

to be honest, you like a pretty specific style of name and I can absolute understand they’re not to everyone’s taste. I don’t like a single one of those names you’ve suggested. You gotta work together and take your emotions out of it, there’s no use falling out and getting mad with each.

Hmm, sorry I agree with your DH to be honest. They're all pretty naff names.

Has he suggested any?

I love Clementine to be honest. What names has he managed to come up with?

Yeah, no

not one of those doesn’t for me.

what does he suggest.

Has he suggested any names?

I can see where he is coming from with those names -sorry OP. What are his ideas?

I don't like the names either but I'm very picky. What does he like?

Sorry to pile on, but I also think those names are awful

Sorry, I really don’t like any of the names you’ve chosen. They are a bit trying too hard to be different.

Yeah the names are all shite to be fair.

I do think he should suggest some though.

I’m not asking for opinions on the names. It’s totally irrelevant. I’m asking about the principle of his reactions and the fact he’s contributed nothing. It’s fine to not like the name and say “hmm I’m not sure about that, how about this?”.

They're all lovely names. He needs to come up with alternatives if he's dismissing them all.

they are pretty names. Wondering what he likes? We took ages to agree on a girls name.

I feel like most men would be so much more laid back about girl’s names and let their wife take the lead

yes, and those same men are also laid back when it comes to parenting, housework, family organisation, mental load....

You need to each make a longlist and then if you don’t like any of each others, try to find some common ground between the two camps. There will eventually be some crossover or names which are a similar style or sound which you both like. It’s not unreasonable for him to want a name he doesn’t feel cringey about calling out across the park.

I like your choice of names.
But I suppose that doesnt help you.
Has he suggested any names?
Because if he hasn't and has just criticised each one of your suggestions then I would be annoyed too

A suggestion that might help: watch movie credits together.

Hundreds of names will appear in the screen and it might help you compile a list together.

It might help you choose together as you might get an idea of what you each like?

I am sorry you are having a hard time.

Well, I don't care for any of those names either. It can be tricky when parents have very different taste in names, but it's one of those decisions you have to make together. I don't think the fact that you're pregnant with a girl matters at all.

Why don't you ask him to make a list of names? Then you can discuss. Names are really personal and we have deep seated reasons for liking/ hating them. Myself and husband only agreed on one girl's name, so that's what she got! Boys were much easier for some reason.

I love your names. He sounds like a dick tbh

I feel like most men would be so much more laid back about girl’s names and let their wife take the lead

No, I completely disagree! Why do you think men should be laid back about girls names (boys names too or just girls ones?!)? Why should their wife get to ‘take the lead’

Naming your child is an important decision, it’s vital both people are involved.

Totally beside the point but those names are all very popular at the moment or hugely growing in popularity and not different at all where I live - I know two Octavias and several Margots and Ophelias.

Fair enough if he doesn't like your suggestions but it's rude to just go 'nah' every time without coming up with any ideas of his own.