To be so upset I’m missing my child’s nativity?

[charmonachain]

Teacher myself … I really wish I’d just called in sick to be honest which I’ll probably be flamed for but I am a tad gutted. Saying so here so I don’t spend tomorrow swearing.

Calling in sick is ridiculous

Lots of people who do jobs other than teaching can't always make their kids nativity. That's life as a working parent

They can book holiday.

Not always. December is often a black out month for holidays, especially if you work in retail.

Yep, every year for our Year six children’s evening performance. I would cover the class for the morning/afternoon if SLT authorised it.

The reason why we teach is because we like children and we want to do our best for them. So when we are constantly giving up our time unpaid and going above and beyond, being told that's it's the right thing to do for the children, and making up for all the stuff that parents don't do, it's a massive kick in the teeth when we are told we can't attend something that's important to us and we know is the right thing to do as a parent. We see everyday how parents being uninvolved in school life affects their children.
I was told I couldn't attend my daughter's parents eve because it clashed with a staff meeting. It properly pissed me off. I get your frustration OP.

Actually our parental leave policy allows for just this kind of thing. We can put in a request to see a nativity, sports day, go to open day at our childs new school etc. Its at the discretion of our SLT

Ah dont be that guy, we all knew what they meant. It just makes you look petty.

It’s rubbish OP but there are loads of other working parents in the same situation. I know that doesn’t help you not to feel sad but you are far from the only one.

My son’s nativity is at 2pm on a Tuesday. I vividly remember in the 90s that nativities/other shows at my primary school were always in the evening. I can’t remember how late, but I definitely remember having tea at home then walking to school for the play in the dark.

I just find it odd that the hours were much more working-parent-friendly in an era (and also an area) where a really large percentage of families had a SAHM. I think I was one of only two or three kids in my class who had a working mum. Perhaps it’s because it was for the convenience of dads in a society where male convenience was prioritised.

Out of hours wouldn’t be an option for a pre-school anyway.

If it was in the evening, that would require staff to work unpaid out of the goodness of their own heart.

But most full time positions in retail are 5 days over 7, unfortunately OP doesn't have the choice to change one of her working days to the weekend.

Unfortunately the way I see it clearly different to you, anything is clearly round the corner as you prob read the news everyday why miss something so precious with your kids and think back why did I not just take the day off, have we always just to work our arse off constantly and miss out on everything. Anyone could die tomorrow or whenever anything could happen and regret anything think your taking it massively to far Mrs miss out nativity play

The majority of parents working don’t go to school events. I never did I have a 9-5 type job and so I couldn’t go. Too bad that’s life.

To not let you go to a parents evening is just so ridiculous when schools complain about parents not being engaged in their children's education.

I know not everyone in every job can get time off but of all the careers that should be family friendly teaching is one. It's also predominantly women in primary at least and it's often male heads saying no.

There's been a bit in the press about mothers with young children leaving teaching in droves and this must be a factor. Just ridiculously short sighted to lose experienced staff.

It's not a race to the bottom. Most people are able to arrange annual leave or an early finish for an event that is important to them or their child, with enough notice and planning. I certainly always did my best to be there and am so glad I didn't tell my children 'that's life.' It doesn't have to be, if it matters to you, in most cases.

OP, find a different school. I understand the point about not all parents being able to take time off for things like this, but a couple of hours of a teacher’s day is not a life or death situation AND schools are specifically set up for the good of children. In the school where I teach (and my previous one, where I was Head), there would have been no question - of course the teacher much see their own child’s nativity. That way the child is happy (really important for all children, not just our own school’s children) and the teacher is more likely to support another colleague another time, or to go the extra mile when it’s needed. Simply good people management!! I get really cross at some school leaders: kids are the priority!

Yeah I've done quite a few nativities and I struggle to think of many or any children who haven't had a parent there. This is in London and the home counties, deprieved and affluent areas.

I’ve had to miss parents evenings for staff meetings. It’s on the directed time calendar don’t you know.

Not a guy

........and that's what this SLT / HT have yet to learn.

They (the school) need to give as well as take, or their staff stop giving.

I worked for a trust that was awful but teachers were always allowed out for first nativities.
Not support staff though, which is one of the reasons it was awful.

Ugh that's really crappy OP. I'm a teacher and my school wouldn't hesitate in terms of letting me go to my child's performance. Poor show from SLT.

This is awful. I'm a primary school teacher and my son's nativity is this week. I'm getting time out to watch it no problem. I remember last year one of our teachers daughter's nativity was on the same day as our nativity. She was still able to go and see her daughter as there were enough of us to run the show without her. As teachers and a school we are so thankful for the support parents give us by attending these events and we see how much it means to their children therefore it is extremely hypocritical and short sighted for a principal not to extend the same courtesy to their staff. I'm sorry your principal isn't supportive. You have every right to be annoyed.

Probably okay for an hour for a nativity.

Exactly the same here. Both of us teachers so a grandparent would go.
I was at a small school so few staff to cover at all. Dh is at large primary with nearly 40 teachers /TA. They do try and offer it but as most staff have family they could be missing several staff on days when their own school needed them in ie their class performances.

I always used it to support kids in my class who got upset when their parents couldn't get time off. I
I'd say something like 'I know. It's sad. I'm a mammy and I can't get time off work to see DCs play but GP/Aunty/friend is going' . Several times I'd then be asked where did I work! 😂😂

Do you get to spend your 13 weeks of school holidays with your child ? We had to take separate holidays to cover childcare and pay for the overlap. I would far rather miss my child’s nativity than have to put them into a holiday club when their friends are at home with their parents. I hate to sound harsh but when you chose to be a teacher you knew that term time you need to be in school and you also knew you had all the holidays off and I guess that the psd were added up t9 see which was worth it. None of us as parents can have all the time we want with our children we make decisions on all sorts of things looking at the trade off.

i would suggest that if you are at the point of thinking that you would pretend to be sick that you are probably in the wrong job.