To be so upset I’m missing my child’s nativity?

[charmonachain]

Teacher myself … I really wish I’d just called in sick to be honest which I’ll probably be flamed for but I am a tad gutted. Saying so here so I don’t spend tomorrow swearing.

Probably if it was an hour but it isn’t is it ? Would have taken me and hour an half to get to the school and it finishes at say 3pm it’s half a day

Goodness me, it is very worrying that people with this attitude are teaching our children, and truly disgraceful on people who truly suffer with stress !

They can request holiday, very different !

The OP has said her husband can attend, it’s not that there is no parent there.

The nativity is bit so of course the OP is upset- i think some posters have been unkind. Yes teachers get holidays but I’d want my own children’s teachers to be able to get doctors appointments or see their child’s nativity if at all possible.

@charmonachain unfortunately the working parent guilt only increases. There will be concerts, trips with irregular pick/up times, random sport matches. There are lots of things I’ve had to say no to because I don’t have the leave but sports day and nativity have always been possible with annual leave.

Exactly this. Never ever ever lie about these things as it will only catch you out in the end. There is no way you go to another school at a nativity and no one knows you, your head, someone else at the school etc.

Next time I would just say I have an appointment and leave it at that.

I grew up with parents never being able to attend these things - I understand it's upsetting but honestly, it's fine. Your child's dad will be there and they won't remember that you weren't.

DS2 turned up the night before DS1 was Joseph in his reception nativity. I've never forgiven DS2 - "Joseph" is now 21

Anyway, back to the question - it sucks op!! I no longer do term time only work, but it was so hard missing out when I did. Fortunately I worked somewhere where they'd try to make it work, but it didn't always

I am a teacher and been to all my 3 kids nativities and Christmas shows over the years. My HT has always let me have the time off. It's not like it's the whole day, only a couple of hours.

This is exactly the kind of thing that makes teaching a non-flexible career and why so many woman leave after having children.

How times change. My DC were at school in the 80s and 90s. The Nativity play - a very important event in an RC school - performed by Year 1, took place c. 6.30 p.m. Children were brought by their parents (every child had a part) who maybe had provided a costume. The Nativity was followed by the Juniors' play, something like 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' (this song has RC connections around the sacrament), which involved music and dancing. Almost every parent was able to attend. We didn't put 5-year-olds to bed before about 7.30 in those far off days - mine had 'tea' after school and dinner later (7-ish) most days.
The teachers were not so burdened with paperwork, of course.

You sound surprised. Hunbelievable. And as for pulling a sickie? Gross misconduct. It's only a nativity play full of screaming babies and other parents jockeying for the best position. I'd happily stay at work.

Been there, can dad or grandparents or auntie go?

Every situation is different. My DH works an hour away and could make it easier on himself if he worked locally.

But it is causing stress.

If her school finds out then this would be disciplinary behaviour.
As disappointing as it is, as a teacher (or any professional I assume) you cannot lie about absence.

I am sorry the OP is in a school that is unwilling to support staff watching their own children as I am sure they would expect parental support at their own school.
Hope someone from the family managed to attend and the show went well.

To save you the trip:

Some woman get's told she's having a baby, gets to a hotel but they overbooked the rooms so she pops it out in a stable. Lot's of visitors including shepherds, wise men, camels, some times penguins, and angels. Big star, everybody happy despite baby getting pretty weird presents.

So because you work an hour and a half away you think everyone does? The nursery is five minutes away, that’s one of the reasons I chose it!

Anyway, I found out others have been granted permission to go to their child’s performance so I’m pushing it a bit now. I shall update you with an outcome.

Reading through this and find it so sad. I have worked in primary schools for many years. People saying it’s only a nativity, really don’t get it. These are the things you remember and, more importantly, children (particularly younger children) get very upset if their parents don’t turn up. It is heartbreaking watching a child looking to see if there is someone to watch them. I never missed my children’s nativities/plays as my head/colleagues were always happy to cover for me (as I was gor them). As a head, I have always made sure that my staff never missed out. Teachers put so much into these events, awful if some can’t attend their own children’s.

Genuine question: If it's that devastating for both children and parents to miss Nativities why do schools continue to put them on when obviously not all parents can attend? Why not have the children perform to the rest of the school etc so that no child is traumatised by the lack of parents watching.

From my experience, they ALWAYS perform to the school as well. Usually a dress rehearsal for the other year groups. I think the above poster just meant it’s sad to see the child looking specifically for their parent. But there is always an audience of children!

And as for timings you just can’t please everyone.
Do it during the day, and some working parents can’t come. Do it after school, but then we’re still talking 3.30-4.30/5 sort of block where still, a lot of working parents can’t come.
Do it later at night (say, send the kids home as normal around 3.15 but then come back to perform around 6pm) and you’ll get parents complain that they don’t want to have to come back to school, and it’s too much for the little kids after a long day.

But my question is why do they invite parents if parents non attendance causes children such distress? and they must be aware that there will likely always be a few parents who can't attend.

So don't perform it for parents then. Seems to be this would solve a lot of problems.

Theres another thread running currently complaining a school doesn't have a Christmas at for every year group....

Community engagement

And it would also create a lot of problems, parents would go wild in our school if they weren’t able to watch the nativity. And why should those who are available, have to miss out because others aren’t? When it comes to things like this, schools just can’t please everyone and there will always be someone to find something to complain about!