Xmas eve boxes for children who aren't here on Xmas eve?!

[georgeballooney]

I KNOW this is super early but we are away for 10 days from Monday and then I am working a lot until Christmas so today I have done a lot of my christmas shopping.

This included the contents of my DCs Christmas eve box PJs, hot chocolates, book, toy, sweets that sort of thing. She is 4.

Was putting this all in the box this evening and DH was asking why I haven't done one for DSC who are 15 & 12. I said because they aren't with us Christmas eve this year. He thinks this is unreasonable and I "would still do it if it were DD" whereas I think it's unnecessary if they aren't even going to be there (probably get one at mums).

I did them one last year when they were with us (that was the first year I'd done any at all).

So basically aibu to not do a Christmas eve box for children not even here on Christmas eve? They would be here but only until about 11am on 24th then with mum until boxing day.

And aibu (probably am) to tell him to make his own damn boxes if he wants to.

I wouldn’t do boxes for children not there on Christmas Eve.

Are they his children? Why isn't he doing them one?

Tell him to do them himself! What a cheeky bastard

Seems a bit pointless to do them if they aren't there! If he's that bothered then he can do them!

No, I wouldn't do Christmas Eve boxes for those who are not there. Any adult children of mine who are not here on Christmas day don't get stockings either.

Exactly. He can do it if hes so bothered.

He wants to give DSC theirs the night before. Which is fine, he knows where the shop is!

I treat my dsc the same as my own kids so if they were here in the morning I'd do them one personally

What a daft thing for him to say, if they are at their mums its something for him to arrange with her. Nothing to do with you.

If they have them on 23rd December, they’re not Changed Eve boxes are they?

And he can bloody well do them himself regardless.

I mean I wouldn’t do for one and not the others. if I had said I would sort the Christmas even boxes then I would do them for all the kids.
However, his assumption it’s your job is what I find frustrating.

They are his kids
They aren't there on Christmas Eve
They are older and at least the 15 yr old is out of the 'pyjamas, sweets and a book' age

So many reasons not to do it.

Has he done all his Christmas shopping or is it going to be 30 minutes before closing on Christmas Eve?

YABU to do a Christmas Eve box for anyone, it's such a pointless new trend!

But if you're doing one for one child I would do some for the others. I agree that your DH can do the older children's boxes as they're his DC, but I think if you did their's last year he wasn't unreasonable to think you might do this year.

It just sounds like a breakdown in communication tbh. You assumed they wouldn't need one as not there Christmas Eve night and he assumed you'd do the same as you did last year. If either one of you had checked in with the other this could have been avoided. I'd take 50% of the blame and move on (and put the stuff under the tree and not go along with Christmas Eve box nonsense!).

I thought that the point of Christmas Eve boxes is to occupy small children with something on Christmas Eve to get yourself free time. I might be wrong, I never did them for DD.
Of course all children are different but at 12 and 15 an average child I know would prefer extra £10 for buying their own hot chocolate and sweets.

I wouldn't have done them either. Assume they will be with their own mother? Let her do them one. Or him if he is so bothered

YANBU. They aren’t there, if they were then they would have one like last year. If you give them on the 23rd then they aren’t Christmas Eve boxes and your DD would also have to have hers then or would wonder why she wasn’t getting one. Their mum probably has something planned anyway.

Given that they're going to be with their mother, is that not stepping on her toes a bit?

If they have done them in the past, presumably she'll have something organised. If not, it does look like a bit of an imposition.

(And yes, they are a bit old tbh.)

Does the 15 year old really want a special box from step mum with a book and a toy and a hot chocolate?

I don’t do Christmas Eve boxes, but if I did it would be a case of taking the things like a DVD we were using on Christmas Eve anyway and putting them in a box. Giving boxes on 23rd for teens that aren’t even there is just an extra Christmas present - his kids, his job. It’s not as simple as just you buying more of what you got your DC, you’d have had to buy totally different stuff for teens.

I wouldn't do Christmas Eve boxes full stop. But if I were in your situation I would definitely point the husband to where the nearest shop was.

Missing the point of the thread, sorry OP.

I see this on here alot about christmas eve boxes being a new trend but im wondering is it a new trend or maybe a regional thing? I'm in Merseyside.
I've been making Christmas eve boxes or gift bags for kids since 2001 I think?
Nothing elaborate at all but I've enjoyed making them. I wonder though when the trend started? My childhood neighbours used to get me Xmas pjs and pass in a colouring book to me on Christmas eve and some other kiddos on our estate with homemade mince pies, so I carried it on with my neighbours kids when I started working because it was the highlight of Christmas as a kid for me.
My lovely neighbours do things for my DC also but I think I've just struck neighbour gold because none of my pals neighbours do this.
But I remember new pjs and an activity being a Xmas eve thing.

Last year I didn't do my eldest an Xmas eve box (got him nice chocs and bathbomb) and you'd think I'd told him he was eating his Christmas dinner alone in the garden. Lesson learnt, he'll have a Xmas eve box until I croak now.

If they aren't there it's a bit pointless because they are meant to be Christmas Eve boxes. If he wants to do something like that he can do it on another day and make that evening special for them. But the point is he can do it. He knows (or should know) what they like. He should be the one choosing things so they feel special and loved.

I'm feeling quite miserable today for various reasons and when that happens grief for my parents hits me hard. And this post has upset me. My Dad died 5 years ago. Once I left home my Dad occasionally made up boxes of treats and posted them (even when I lived abroad and it cost a lot to send). He absolutely loved doing it and that was his special thing he did for me. My Mam did different things but they both did things from time to time that were special. It wasn't just my Mam doing stuff (or in your case the stepmum).
What sort of Dad is he that he can't make up a Christmas Eve box for his children himself?

Wtf is a Christmas eve box and why

Why can't he do them?

Nope
YANBU