For not wanting our friend couple to bring baby over to our house?

[Samatha09]

Hello dear people, my good friend (lets call her Ava) had her first baby for 11 months ago. A sweet baby girl. Me and my partner used to invite ava and her partner over for dinner and game nights, movie nights and vica versa (before baby). Now we have mostly gone at their home, my and my partner prefer that. Also they have everything the baby needs at their home, changing table, dining chair, toys ect. We also don’t have a childproof home. Decorations at floor and that. Since i know they let baby crawl around to explore.

Don’t want baby to ruin our stuff like get spit up or for the baby to eat or choke on something. I kinda feel like they getting disapointed on us, but she also implies that it won’t be easy to play board games or watch a movie with baby around. So this may sound very asshole like but me and my partner don’t see the point of inviting them over if its all gonna be centred about the baby. Also i said to my friend that we don’t always need to have dinner at her home whenever we come over. We don’t expect dinner tbh.We also bring with us some snacks and sodas over.

Also i think its easier for them than having to bring tons of stuff over for the baby

Of course an 11 month old baby can cause 'devastation'. Why do you think people 'baby proof' their houses? People who don't have children don't tend to take these measures so it will be more dangerous for baby.

Or, the OP could you know,....talk to her good friends rather than guessing. Crazy idea, I know.

I totally agree. I was just talking about on here - in real life the matter would be sorted in a couple of minutes without the insults the OP is getting on here 🤷‍♀️

At 11 months the baby is unlikely to be walking confidently/climbing. At the most crawling with reasonable speed and perhaps trying to pull themself up. So relatively easy for parents to supervise.

Getting the cyanide capsules and razor blades off the floor should be sufficient childproofing.

I think I agree with this tbh. We’ve got an 11 month old and haven’t baby proofed that much yet cuz she’s easy enough to keep an eye on. If we need to pop somewhere we put her in her play pen for a few minutes.

Well the baby should be asleep for the evening so no problem.or they could get a baby sitter.

Oh yeh. I forgot to think about it

Maybe dont gatekeep a website

This sounds like it's written by a chat bot.

I think part of being friends is adapting to each others different life stages and that does involve giving as well as taking.
On the other hand you have the right tp whatever boundaries you want to draw but they also have the right to theirs and to feel however they do about yours. So mat impact the friendship and that also wouldn't be unreasonable on their part.

@5iveleafclovers your definition of "devastation" must be different to mine. I imagine broken windows, small fires or floods, structural damage when I hear that word. If you think an 11 month old baby capable of devastation then I have a bridge I'd like to sell you.

Drool on a scatter cushion is not, IMHO, "devastation"

Not a very good one though

Nope, It's a bit shit really.

YANBU, I mean if baby is up and crawling about, how much are you going to be playing board games and watching movies anyway? Realistically you are not - you will be constantly interrupted whilst you also “keep an eye on the baby”.
That’s not fun, just stressful.

I am like this with my dog! When we go to my BILs house, they have lots of stuff stored on the floor/behind sofa and dog just loves to get into it and starts chewing things he shouldn’t. I’m forever watching him to make sure he a) doesn’t kill himself or b) wreck the place.

And really why should you be the one to baby proof your house and be stressed - they are the ones who had the baby, so they are the ones that need to adapt their life.

I also think that it would be better if you go to theirs, as everything is set up for their LO and babies need routine and preferably their own bed.

Once baby is in bed you can all relax and joy socialising as you once did.

I remember one time when my DD was about 2/3 and we got invited to friends for a BBQ. She had a roasting hot BBQ in the middle of the small garden with lots of lit candles all around. I spent the whole evening following my DD round the garden to make sure she didn’t get burnt- it was not fun!

Non-child friends don’t always appreciate the dangers or know what your baby/child is capable of, so you can’t put the burden of safety on them.

😂

It was YOU who said devastation, I only quoted YOU. 😂😂😂

I think you are being unreasonable but only if you’re interested in keeping this friendship. Their baby is the centre of their world right now, it won’t be forever.

If you’re not bothered about keeping the friendship though, carry on!

@5iveleafclovers erm, no, I made the opposite point...

Yeah I know, that's basically why I said people baby proof their houses.

Lots of people don't want babies and young kids at their house. I once had my bathroom flooded by a 2 year old playing with the taps. Offer to meet at the friends house. It'll be easier for them, more comfortable for the baby and you can leave when you've had enough without worrying about the mess..

So this may sound very asshole like but me and my partner don’t see the point of inviting them over if its all gonna be centred about the baby

Yep - you sound like an asshole.

If no adult was watching a 2 year old ... suck it up.

Plus - it may have been even more upsetting (for the parents) if the toddler had drowned!!

Friendships do evolve once people start having kids. If you have kids you soon become blind to the chaos and destruction 😂

Seriously, though, just ask if there's anything they need to feel welcome, if they're visiting, e.g. "feel free to bring high chair" etc.

All you need do is a basic safety check for anything obvious, e.g. things that might tip over. They will supervise their child.

This said, they might also be assessing your suitability for babysitting duties 😯😂... you never know, you might enjoy it.