For not wanting our friend couple to bring baby over to our house?

[Samatha09]

Hello dear people, my good friend (lets call her Ava) had her first baby for 11 months ago. A sweet baby girl. Me and my partner used to invite ava and her partner over for dinner and game nights, movie nights and vica versa (before baby). Now we have mostly gone at their home, my and my partner prefer that. Also they have everything the baby needs at their home, changing table, dining chair, toys ect. We also don’t have a childproof home. Decorations at floor and that. Since i know they let baby crawl around to explore.

Don’t want baby to ruin our stuff like get spit up or for the baby to eat or choke on something. I kinda feel like they getting disapointed on us, but she also implies that it won’t be easy to play board games or watch a movie with baby around. So this may sound very asshole like but me and my partner don’t see the point of inviting them over if its all gonna be centred about the baby. Also i said to my friend that we don’t always need to have dinner at her home whenever we come over. We don’t expect dinner tbh.We also bring with us some snacks and sodas over.

Also i think its easier for them than having to bring tons of stuff over for the baby

Just goes to show that on here if you are childfree then you are always in the wrong

Or, the OP could you know,....talk to her good friends rather than guessing. Crazy idea, I know.

Don’t they have a babysitter for when they go out? Is it the cost? I cannot understand why they’d want to take a baby out to a friend’s house in the evening?
Don’t they ever fancy a child free evening out?
Am I missing something????

I think the childproofing your home thing can be overlooked, it’s annoying but not to tricky to move a few things out the way.

I think the biggest issue is more just how the dynamic has changed, you want to hang out with your friends like you used to, play board games etc, but now with a baby around, that sort of stuff is far trickier. It’s tough, I’ve been in that situation myself and it is hard adapting, so I get it OP.

Ask them to bring a portable play pen (with some toys) or something. I think it’s worth trying to meet in the middle if you don’t want the friendship to wane, which can happen with the baby/no baby dynamic.

Actually I don’t blame you OP. I don’t think it’s a crime to want to spend time with friends relaxing and not spending the whole evening focused on a baby. When our kids were that age, they were left with babysitters (luckily we had family nearby but o appreciate that’s not always easy or usually we would put them to bed in a travel cot at our friends’ houses!

Why?

@ChanelBoucle i loved to ask but afraid they take offence if we ask without baby since they really obsessed and in love with their baby. So afraid to come out as rude

It isn’t weird, she has as much right to be here as you.

Can you not play in the evening? We bring our son, have dinner and then put him to bed somewhere in his travel cot/blow up bed.

We were then free to play board games etc for a few hours before heading home.

@LoobyDoop2 she has as much right to be here, and other posters have every right to find it weird.

OP I think if you want to keep these friends you might need to accept that they have a child and occasionally, not always, host the child. Or find childless friends.

*are

@courtcox omg you, dont need to be an asshole youself by insulting

If she is a dear friend you can get a play pen on gumtree and put baby inside while they are over.
I have very small circle of close friends and we all accomodate others needs.

It’s a baby not a Tasmanian devil ….

I have two children and don't want to spend adult time with children .. it's fine not go but she probably won't stay friends .

@HolyPeaches some babies/toddlers crawl around and explore like a tasmanian devil. They are pretty quick to!

Of which 2 of them have no responsibility for the baby and don't really want to spend their social time keeping an eye on it unsurprisingly

They should just get a babysitter. It’s not a particularly relaxing evening with the baby around and surely the baby should be asleep anyway - so may get fussy.

I really don’t think you have much experience with babies 😂

If they are good friends they won’t allow their 11 month old to crawl/run riot round your home.

Just be honest and say “no, I don’t want your little shit in my home putting things in their mouth”. Though don’t expect them to invite you round to their home going forwards.