To think DH did nothing wrong here?

[Challas]

On my way to do the school run in the dark I nearly slammed into a little black car that was broken down just around a blind on our very rural 60 mile an hour road. I noticed a woman alone sitting in the car. I called DH and asked him to go at least put cones around the car but also to offer to the woman for him to stay with her (in his car) or come stand on our drive so she didn't get killed sitting in the car. He went up to her and she politely declined (all fine but he was legitimately afraid for her). He did then drive back around the bend and sat there with his hazards on to slow any cars coming down. Eventually the recovery van came for her and all was well until a few hours later we had the police at the door saying this woman reported DH for having made her feel threatened!? He's now said in the future he just won't even offer help if he's in the same position again. The police were fairly aggressive with wanting to know exactly what he said and did so clearly she was very uncomfortable.

Yep - your DH is right - helping people gets you a huge slap in the face and is to be avoided these days.

He's literally tried to save someone from being hit by a car (and tbh if she was there a while, he probably did save her from it using his hazards). And he's been accused of being some sort of predator.

I am interested in exactly what crime the police accused him of?

Sounds like he meant well, but offering to get into her car with her was poorly judged - sorry.

I don’t think your DH did anything wrong, but the lesson is, don’t offer help, to anyone, ever. It inevitably comes back to bite you on the bottom.

You can look at it from both perspectives, surely. You know your DH had good intentions. The woman didn't. She is sitting alone in a car and a random bloke rocks up to her. She asks him to go away, but he doesn't.
Why didn't you go and sit with her? Surely, you understand how his intentions may have been misconstrued. For all she knows, he could have been a charming Ted Bundy type.

Well, the OP was on her way to school

and...the police report...what was the crime exactly?

His offer to get in the car is beyond weird and would have had me ringing the police.

Women aren't to know which man but for his own sake he needs awareness of reasonable boundaries most women will have.

It sounds like the best intentions, but I imagine if she had twigged he was waiting around the corner she would have got a bit creeped out. He offered help and she said no, he should respect that.

It's kinda cold, no?

Its great that he wanted to help but I think most women would feel pretty uncomfortable with the idea of getting into a car with a random man they don't know surely?

I’m confused as to why you didn’t just stop and offer rather than call your husband out? Fairly certain no loan woman is going to get in the car of a random man.

Feel sorry for your DH though he sounds like a good egg but being a loan woman on a rural road with a bloke sitting in his car after she had declined help would likely have made her feel very vulnerable.

She was a bloody idiot to sit in a dark car in the dark on a blind bend on a NSL road. Everyone should have a warning triangle in their boot for this kind of situation, and frankly I would have been out of the car myself at the side of the road further down waving to people to tell them to slow down, not sitting in my car for someone to plough into the back of me and injure themselves and me.

I can understand being wary of a random man, but what she did was incredibly dangerous and stupid in the first place. She should have called the police herself when it was clear what a dangerous spot she was in and got out of the car and stayed out. So I think her risk assessment was slightly off in the first place, to say it mildly.

I don't care if it's a blizzard I ain't letting any stranger into my car. Hardly unreasonable.

Did you or your husband call the police to say she was broken down in a dangerous spot?

I was once 'offered help' by a group of lads in a pick up truck when I was broken down once, who then proceeded to circle me over the next hour until the rescue van and DH showed up. If I was a lone woman on a rural road I'd probably feel the same. And at the same time if she's silly enough to sit in a dangerous position and refuse any support or suggestions I'd let her get on with it

I think your husbands actions were really odd sorry!

I can just about believe that you asked your husband to go and find a random woman who had broken down- although I’m surprised he said yes. When she politely declined his help he should have gone away.

its really paternalistic to stay round the corner ‘protecting her’ she didn’t ask him to to do that.

Could she not have stopped for a second and offered to call her husband?
As to what crime, evidently no crime seeing that police didn't actually arrest him. If she was dead in the ditch, the situation might have been different, of course. But since when do we encourage police to intervene only when the worst has already happened?

I do not help people anymore, experience has taught me.to walk by and ignore. I think you were unreasonable to ask him to take action.

She was frightened by your husband who refused to go away when she asked him to.

Where does it say he offered to get in her car?
Quite the opposite - he would stay, but in his car.
I.e. sit in a different car and watch to make sure no weirdo turned up.

Except that he did that even after she had said no and made himself look like a weirdo!

@Challas I would be terrified if a random man appeared next to me in the dark, and then lurked round the bend flashing other cars like he did. He may have meant well, but he went about it the wrong way. He can't have been far away, so it would have been better for you to have stopped with her and phoned him to do the school run.

And frankly who cares if she didn't want help, she was causing a hazard on a road and sitting on her arse instead of getting out to stop other drivers ploughing into the back of her car. It's so, so dangerous to remain sitting in your car in a situation like that. It's why you should always get out of your car and move to somewhere safe if you've broken down somewhere that is causing a risk to other vehicles. If she was unwilling to bother herself to do so, thank goodness someone else did.

I agree.

It's one thing putting cones or warning triangles out, but it's quite another to ask to stay with her in his car. A lot of women would be alarmed by that.

I'm glad the police followed it up tbh. Your DH may have had good intentions, but a lot of men in that scenario wouldn't have.

Yeah sorry this wasn’t the way to go. I wouldn’t in a million years let a man I don’t know in my car with me. All of you who don’t see how dangerous that could be have clearly never been in a vulnerable position that a man has tried to take advantage of, which is very lucky for you but is definitely not the experience of many women!

Who said he was protecting her. What about the cars coming round the bend with kids in the back that didn't ask to be put at risk either... he should really have just let a crash happen. I'm sure you'd feel the same if it was you with your child in the car coming round th3 bend.

Not really related at all but this also remind me of Facebook witch-hunt in my local area after a guy managed to lock his keys in his car but was able to open the boot. He stopped some passing kids and asks one of them to crawl through to the cabin and retrieve his keys. Cue everyone putting a description of him and his car on every Facebook group locally accusing him of attempting to abduct kids. Poor guy, was completely innocent but ill advised thing to do!

He didn't offer to get in her car nor did he offer for her to get in his. I think people are misreading the OP. She was causing a really dangerous obstruction and he didn't want her or one of our neighbours to die owing into her. She said she had called for recovery.