To think DH did nothing wrong here?

[Challas]

On my way to do the school run in the dark I nearly slammed into a little black car that was broken down just around a blind on our very rural 60 mile an hour road. I noticed a woman alone sitting in the car. I called DH and asked him to go at least put cones around the car but also to offer to the woman for him to stay with her (in his car) or come stand on our drive so she didn't get killed sitting in the car. He went up to her and she politely declined (all fine but he was legitimately afraid for her). He did then drive back around the bend and sat there with his hazards on to slow any cars coming down. Eventually the recovery van came for her and all was well until a few hours later we had the police at the door saying this woman reported DH for having made her feel threatened!? He's now said in the future he just won't even offer help if he's in the same position again. The police were fairly aggressive with wanting to know exactly what he said and did so clearly she was very uncomfortable.

If she refused his offer to stay he shouldn’t have sat around the corner with his hazards on. That’s a bit infantilising. I’d be annoyed and probably a little suspicious if a stranger asked me if I wanted some help and then, when I refused, did it anyway.

It’s unclear if that’s the crux of her complaint against him or if she complained about him simply offering help. If the latter I can see your DHs point (and I wonder what the hell the police were thinking). If the former I think he’s let his ego get in the way and is taking the wrong lesson away.

This. She was a dick

The only thing he did wrong here was not calling the police himself while he waited, to tell them there was a bellend sat in her broken down car on a fast road after a blind bend.

This thread makes me sad, I would be grateful of your DP in this situation. It will
fet to the point where everyone is so insular, nobody helps anyone. I broke down on one of the most dangerous in the uk & a lovely man stopped & helped me. Made me feel so much better too. I just think it will all stop as society thinks all
men are rapists or murderers.

I still think of most people as decent.

When I read the first post from someone who said the op's DH was weird for offering to stay in the car with her, I thought it was odd that they had misread the op.

When multiple posters said the same thing, I went back to reread the op in case I had got hold of the wrong end of the stick.

It seems really clear to me. OP's DH was worried about her sitting alone in a dangerous spot so he offered to park his car nearby and sit there until the recovery people turned up. He didn't offer to get into the car because that would have been creepy.

Woman was paranoid/cautious and said no but he stayed to alert drivers coming around a blind corner in order to try and prevent an accident.

He tried to be a Good Samaritan but was reported to the police.

@Challas he did nothing wrong and did exactly as a normal human would do.

It reminds me of my poor dad. Took a small retirement role delivering mobility equipment to the injured or elderly. He was a milk man for years and worked in care homes and just loves people.

He went to a village he had not been to before, in a marked van and asked a couple where x house was. Twenty minutes later as he was unloading things to help police turn up. Strange van in village targeting vulnerable. Whilst we saw both sides, the van was marked, he had ID and my poor dad never got over that. It broke him.

Poor old DH, that's grim for him.The woman was probably scared and misinterpreted his concern as intrusiveness. I hope he won't stop offering to help in future though. Another time he might just park round the corner with his hazards on, but rather than speaking to her, just wave to her through the window.

This is sadly a rule to live by these days from my experience, too.

I don't understand why you didn't help her yourself. Obviously a strange man is going to be far more worrying than a woman.

About time it became a legal requirement to have warning triangles in your car in the UK. Wouldn't have been calling the police to report someone for trying to stop accidents if she had taken responsibility not to be a hazard on the road in the first place.

I've always thought it was a legal requirement tbh. I always have one in the car.

But his first offer was to park next to her- that wouldn’t have done much good.

OP also hasn’t said whether he said to the woman”ok then I’ll just park down the road a bit to warn people with my hazards if that’s ok” or if he just went off and did it without asking. Which I would have found pretty creepy.

Have to agree with this.

I mean, I'd like to know what part of the country you live in that have enough police officers to respond to this, in this way, but that aside, I do think it odd that a) you called your dh to go out rather than the police - as your police force are clearly well staffed and thn b) that your dh went out to attend to this problem when he wasn't a mechanic or driving a breakdown truck or anything.

Oh, odd - the quote didn't come through

Well that is a completely bizarre thing to do!!!

I would have pulled up myself, beside her, asked if she was ok & suggested she put her hazards on, as you came close to hitting her. If she doesn't, not much you can do.

I'd never ask DH to go help a lone woman. It's too risky it'll get misinterpreted.

Reading is fundamental he never offered to get into her car he offered to stay with her in his own car and stop people from plowing into her.

He didn't offer to get into her car. Read the OP.

No, that is not the lesson.

If someone had of crashed into her & killed her your husband would be now sitting there regretting not doing something.

You'd be annoyed that someone attempted to stop your dark car being ploughed into?

Being round the corner is significant because incoming traffic can see you.

It's not patronising, it's safety.

He needs to learn not to try and help anyone, let them take the consequences.

If she refused his offer to stay he shouldn’t have sat around the corner with his hazards on. That’s a bit infantilising. I’d be annoyed and probably a little suspicious if a stranger asked me if I wanted some help and then, when I refused, did it anyway.

It wasn't solely for her benefit, it was to stop the innocent occupants of an oncoming vehicle smashing into her car which was a concealed hazard around a blind bend in the dark! But sure, not "infantilising" a silly selfish woman with zero common sense is far more important.

It is in Europe. I've always carried them and emergency lights ... and fire extinguisher ...and first aid kits, tow cable and jump leads etc. I might be paranoid but if I break down I will be visible.

Infantilising? Or maybe just means that she is alive today, given she was sitting in a stationary black car on a busy road.