To think DH did nothing wrong here?

[Challas]

On my way to do the school run in the dark I nearly slammed into a little black car that was broken down just around a blind on our very rural 60 mile an hour road. I noticed a woman alone sitting in the car. I called DH and asked him to go at least put cones around the car but also to offer to the woman for him to stay with her (in his car) or come stand on our drive so she didn't get killed sitting in the car. He went up to her and she politely declined (all fine but he was legitimately afraid for her). He did then drive back around the bend and sat there with his hazards on to slow any cars coming down. Eventually the recovery van came for her and all was well until a few hours later we had the police at the door saying this woman reported DH for having made her feel threatened!? He's now said in the future he just won't even offer help if he's in the same position again. The police were fairly aggressive with wanting to know exactly what he said and did so clearly she was very uncomfortable.

The woman was an idiot, but see what trying to help got him.

Presumably he also said "my wife asked me to come out and help you after she nearly ran into you a few minutes ago".

I think she overreacted, but perhaps she had her reasons. The police on the other hand sound like they were unnecessarily heavy-handed.

Jesus, I wouldn't give a fuck that some random thought it was infantilising.

She showed a sorry lack of concern for the lives that could have been ruined by the idiocy of sitting in a dark car, in bad light on a blind bend.

How did it end with the police? Was everything ok? You said they were quite aggressive; if they had cameras on then you could make a complaint about that.

Out of curiosity, how did the police know who he was or where to find him?

Your husband sounds lovely, what a kind thing he did.

It is sad it ended with her wasting police time (by then she was obviously safe and sorted so I am not sure why she reported him AFTER the fact) but a lot of us would have appreciated someone putting themselves out like he did.

Licence plate?

I expect the woman recorded his plates

@Marblesbackagain His offer to get in the car is beyond weird and would have had me ringing the police.

"Men, be sure to speak up and protect women... but also, be sure that you don't protect women because it's weird."

@user44221 He gave her his full name and the name of our house to try and make her feel more comfortable. He told her my wife called me etc. He was explaining the house is just beyond the bend if she wanted to stand in the drive as that would have been a far safer place to stand. She wouldn't have seen the houses yet as she never got round the bend.

And indeed, he was not just saving randoms, he was concerned about his own neighbours having an accident with this woman, as his wife nearly did.

Because he offered for her to wait on their drive, meaning he would have said, “I live in that house; do you want to wait on our drive where it’s safer.” So she would have given the police the address. Obviously.

😄😄 if I called the met police, they would NOT come out, and would say he's just being friendly

Oh. So he wasn’t concerned for her? Just for your neighbours?

what did you mean by sit in his car?

"if you’re in your own and somebody offers to help, just accept ffs. people are good and altruistic on the whole, and being attacked by a stranger is vanishingly rare."

Is that a serious comment? If so, thank goodness your ability to persuade is limited.

I broke down on a rural NSL road in the fog and stood off the roadside with my 2 year old waiting for recovery. I was really grateful to the 2 or 3 men who stopped to ask if I was okay, if they could help or suggested I could walk to a house not too far along who would perhaps let me in. Lots of people still appreciate a good deed. Sorry your DH had a hard time OP.

But what about the driveway comment. How was this lady supposed to get to the OP's drive to stand on it? He must have offered her a lift. If I had an unknown man offer me a lift to his home and, when I declined, he stayed in his car near me, then I would be a bit freaked out.

“My wife called me” could have been a lie to gain her trust
”do you want to wait in my driveway, it’s just round there?” Could have been a ruse to get her into his house, or to get her out of her car so he could overpower her.

I am sure he had the best intentions but I can see why it freaked her out. I would not have waited in a strange man’s driveway (though I wouldn’t have waited in the car either!)

I think your husband did the right thing. I live rurally and if a car was broke down like that on a corner I would do exactly the same. Your husband was only trying to protect her and your neighbours. Christ we just can’t think every man is out to kill us.

Tell your husband he's a star. She was scared as she probably hadn't come across people who are kind.

Nobody did anything wrong here.

The woman was scared and that's perfectly reasonable.

It would probably been better if OP had gone to help instead.

Yeah, she's a dick. Your DH offered, she said no - end of.

Had he tried to get onto the car or propositioned her, she'd have a point. As it was, he'd put comes put to draw attention to the car. What sex offender is going to do that?!

I think you're husband tried to do the right thing but he would have been better off just putting out a red triangle or cone, or even just waiting before the bend himself (like he did in the end). Instead it sounds like he put a lot of effort into convincing her to get in his car. Those things about the wife and house, even his name, could easily be lies.
I'm also wondering how big this bend is, if cars on the straight couldn't see her but she hadn't got round the bend and so couldn't see the houses.

If she refused his offer to stay he shouldn’t have sat around the corner with his hazards on. That’s a bit infantilising. I’d be annoyed and probably a little suspicious if a stranger asked me if I wanted some help and then, when I refused, did it anyway.

If you're that much of an idiot that you're prepared to risk your own life and that of other drivers then you clearly do need to be infantalised.

She is not U for feeling frightened but she is U for calling the police on him.