to think men shouldn't be midwives

[igglepiggle599]

Just saying, I have nothing against the male midwives themselves. I'm sure they're amazing at what they do and are lovely, kind, caring people. They themselves are not actually the issue I have.

I think many women are uncomfortable with the idea of a male midwife for any number of reasons, and there's a good chance that any given woman will automatically feel uncomfortable when a male midwife walks in. I also find it very disingenuous when people say that they can simply request another midwife. I'm sure that's often true (though maternity units presumable don't have an infinite supply of midwives at any given time, so there's at least a hypothetical scenario in which this wouldn't be possible?). I don't think it's fair that women should be put in a situation where they have to speak up and say that they want a different midwife, particularly when they are extremely vulnerable and possibly in excruciating pain. I'm not a particularly shy or passive person, but I would find that conversation very difficult even when not in labour. I might panic in the moment and wonder whether that amounted to some kind of breach of equality laws, or I might be in such a state that I just didn't want to risk any kind of conflict. Ultimately I would end up with a birth that may well be smooth from a medical point of view but somewhat tainted emotionally, as I would know that an aspect of the situation made me uncomfortable and I hadn't felt able to say anything.

Also, is midwifery even the kind of profession that would actually benefit from gender diversity given that women are the ones who give birth? I'm sure these very talented, compassionate men would be just as valued in a different branch of nursing. Obviously there are male doctors who can end up delivering a baby, but somehow it feels different for men to train in a role that is so intimate.

Very much open to different perspectives.

I had a male midwife with my second. It was all very rushed as emergency and straight to theatre but he put the meds up for me etc. He seemed calm and knowledgeable and was perfectly nice.

But most of the consultants and surgeons are male. If you're making use of a free service, you get what you're given imo!

I had a female midwife nearly kill me during my first childbirth and an excellent male obstetrician deliver my 2nd one for fear of it happening again!

I had a wonderful male student midwife and a wonderful female midwife. I couldn’t have cared less what sex they were as long as they were keeping me and DC safe and calm, which they were.

I do, however, appreciate that some women would prefer a female midwife for personal or cultural reasons, and this request should be respected.

Statistically women are much more likely to feel vulnerable and afraid with a man than the reverse, so no, not that I can think of. Obviously, though, it's about personal choice and any patient can make any (reasonable) request that meets their needs.

Christ, how old are you??

Past middle age, maybe not quite elderly.

I don’t think they shouldn’t exist but I do think women should have a choice. Or at least a very very clear instruction in their chart if they had history of rape etc.
personally most of my OBs have been male and I’ve only had great experiences. I do appreciate that’s not the case for everyone. I did have a female midwife and I found her pushy and a lot less understanding than my male OB.

Disgusting comment.

Disagree (although of course anyone who isn't comfortable should have the option to request a female midwife)
How is it different to a male obstetrician? They aren't doctors who just happen to deliver the occasional baby, the job they have trained for literally involves women giving birth?

I actually think the opposite to you op. My controversial 2 cents is that the culture within midwifery at the moment is toxic - disrespectful towards women, obsessed with natural birth, not remotely patient-centred - and would benefit from greater diversity in all its forms, including more male midwives. Just as medicine was (and remains) problematic due to historically being all-male, so midwifery has suffered for being all-female.

I've been on life support twice in an induced coma and spent a long time in ICU. Believe me, after that the sex of the midwife would be the least of my worries.

Your fanny isn't going to change. That's it.

This is exactly why I think I had a better experience with male midwives than female. I felt the males really listened to me whereas the older females were too quick to draw on their own experiences and dismiss me. My husband ended up missing my second birth as he was sent home and an older midwife refused to call him back until she thought I was in active labour, I gave birth 15 minutes after I asked for him.

Yes because when you are at your most vulnerable, you care about your own safety and comfort rather than towing the politically correct line.

Not sure this makes any sense really.

I’m a psychotherapist so I dread to think what you’d make of that…

I was looked after by an incredible male consultant & male surgeon. If it wasn’t for their care, I and/or my DS might not be here. So long as they are competent I really don’t care if they are male or female.

At my last birth I had one male something - not a midwife I don't think but not entirely sure. He was OK but incompetent. The one I really objected to was the doctor. Consultant/registrar who in typical male fashion complete ignored the consents I had given.
So personally I'd rather not have any men at all.

This is almost identical to me but twenty hours in my case. I only had one child!

So male paramedics? Gynaes? GPs?

You're being ridiculous. They're not looking at you sexually so what's the issue?

Women should be given the choice and that choice should be completely accepted and respected.

Hmmm. The best primary school teachers my children had were co-incidentally all men, and I wondered at the time if it was because it was their vocation rather than a job. I would think the same of male midwives I think. I’m pretty sure they’re not in it for the sexy times. There can’t be many things less raunchy than childbirth? So I don’t think I would have an issue at all, all the female midwives I had bar one were bloody horrible.

I am going to completely contradict myself now by saying that I was in hospital last week for a gynae operation, as were several other middle aged to elderly women. The nurse in the post-op ward was a young, very nice, very polite man whose job was to check our vitals and sanitary pads every half an hour to make sure that we hadn’t had a large bleed. Once I was a bit more with it I was more uncomfortable with him checking my sanitary pad than I would have been with a woman, even through he in no way made a big deal about it or seemed uncomfortable. Perhaps I ought to reflect on my attitude, after all the surgeon was a man and I had no issue with that, perhaps a sanitary pad is just a very female, private thing?

What next, males shouldn't be allowed to be nursery workers as they will have to change young females' nappies?

I had a male doctor with both of my births due to complications. I don't think I actually gave it a second thought. I just wanted my babies here safely

Interesting take, but what makes you think that the current culture is entirely a product of it being largely feminine?

How do you know that? How do I know that?

How do I feel comfortable with that lack of knowledge?