to think men shouldn't be midwives

[igglepiggle599]

Just saying, I have nothing against the male midwives themselves. I'm sure they're amazing at what they do and are lovely, kind, caring people. They themselves are not actually the issue I have.

I think many women are uncomfortable with the idea of a male midwife for any number of reasons, and there's a good chance that any given woman will automatically feel uncomfortable when a male midwife walks in. I also find it very disingenuous when people say that they can simply request another midwife. I'm sure that's often true (though maternity units presumable don't have an infinite supply of midwives at any given time, so there's at least a hypothetical scenario in which this wouldn't be possible?). I don't think it's fair that women should be put in a situation where they have to speak up and say that they want a different midwife, particularly when they are extremely vulnerable and possibly in excruciating pain. I'm not a particularly shy or passive person, but I would find that conversation very difficult even when not in labour. I might panic in the moment and wonder whether that amounted to some kind of breach of equality laws, or I might be in such a state that I just didn't want to risk any kind of conflict. Ultimately I would end up with a birth that may well be smooth from a medical point of view but somewhat tainted emotionally, as I would know that an aspect of the situation made me uncomfortable and I hadn't felt able to say anything.

Also, is midwifery even the kind of profession that would actually benefit from gender diversity given that women are the ones who give birth? I'm sure these very talented, compassionate men would be just as valued in a different branch of nursing. Obviously there are male doctors who can end up delivering a baby, but somehow it feels different for men to train in a role that is so intimate.

Very much open to different perspectives.

Ok but what is the answer then? I don’t think males should be banned from being carers either given that they care for both men and women. But something need to be done so that people get a choice.

Midwives are different as they are always only caring for women. Removing male midwives would, let’s face it, be a simple solution. We’ve established that male midwives are vanishingly rare anyway, who’s going to miss them?

I don’t object to male midwife’s. My Mum had one in the late 70’s and thought he was great. I opted for no male doctors or midwife’s on my birthing forms (which you can do by the way) because the idea made me feel uncomfortable, and I didn’t fancy feeling uncomfortable while giving birth. Each to their own, but you should state your choice.

https://nursingnotes.co.uk/news/nurse-midwife-stuck-off-for-making-and-distributing-indecent-images-of-children/

Again, you know what he meant. Not everybody distinguishes between gender and sex in their everyday speech. You know this. You’re just being difficult.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/midwife-ronald-lock-struck-off-pregnant-women-southmead-hospital-bristol-oral-sex-good-for-their-health-a6989631.html

Given there are only 200 male midwives…

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9989159/Male-midwife-39-caught-stash-400-indecent-images-children.html

Oh dear.

I’ve not read the whole thread but I 100% agree. I work with pregnant women and I’ve been slightly bugged over things they have said about male midwives but a couple of months ago I was appalled by a young woman that came in to see me.

She apologised for wearing an all in one body suit. She had a bra on underneath. I’ve seen women naked and told her not to worry at all. She went on to tell me her male midwife told her off for wearing it and told her to wear something more appropriate the next time she sees him.

Honestly I was raging inside but told her to report him and request a new midwife

She was a teenage mum - so already vulnerable - and should be building trust with her midwife so she can talk to them about very personal and private things - like her stitches are hurting, she is having difficulty breastfeeding, she is in a abusive relationship ect..

A man pushing himself in to woman’s private space then berating her for inappropriate clothing when she might have to show her most intimate body parts to is appalling.

Men should not be working in these areas.

🙄 I wouldn't want intimate care from any woman in the street either. I don't have any issue with medical staff, male or female, they are there to do a job. Your argument is silly and illogical. It is absolutely fine for you to insist on a female midwife/doctor/nurse etc but it is also OK that I don't need my medical professionals to be exclusively female.

And if you think the regulator will protect you:
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/health/nursing-and-midwifery-council-review-nhs-nurses-abuse-b2576003.html

A male midwife is a well-trained and highly-skilled professional. He has a different view of the human body than Kev down the pub who gets the giggles over what’s in a girl’s knickers.

And I raise you Lucy Letby.

No, that's unfair.
OP is implying nothing of the kind.

There's always one.....

One out of how many?

Of course male midwives could have nefarious intentions.

Just having a quick scroll back and can see people posting links to male midwife’s. I’d go further - male gynaecologists. I’m sick of seeing them being charged with sexual assault - some still allowed to treat women whilst investigations are being carried out

Medical training isn't necessarily the magical, transformative, de-sexualising process that you're implying it is. People are still human and can potentially pose a threat. Most won't, but some will.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2024/03/29/obgyn-abuse-hospital-fabio-ortega/

So can female nurses. There will always be the odd bad apple in any profession. Some accountants steal client monies, doesn’t mean we should do away with accountants.

98% of sexual assaults are carried out by men
88% of victims are female

So you found three instances in the UK and now you’re trawling the rest of the globe to post these stupid links. Desperate.

In other words, you are 50 times more likely to be sexually assaulted by a man than by a woman.

I won't comment any further on this thread after this, because it's probably not really my place to do so. I am a man, and I've explained my own nursing background, as well as that of other male relatives. I come here because I'm genuinely interested in many of the threads, and only occasionally feel I have something to add, but don't want to butt in too much.
I realise, of course that childbirth is absolutely the most intimate process, and is hopefully a special thing for a woman (excepting and accepting that there are often complications). As a man, I cannot hope to appreciate what it feels like, and I would not assume anything, or pretend that I could genuinely empathise ... I don't know, and I can't know what it feels like.
Ideally a woman should have a choice. I understand that and support that.
I've had a female nurse at my vasectomy, a female nurse has put stitches in my penis (don't ask !!) ... that wasn't good, because I don't think she understood just how sensitive it is, and that it isn't just a lump of meat ... I've had a female doctor probe my bum to check my prostate ... I didn't have any choice for those intimate procedures ... and to be honest it didn't cross my mind ... I just accepted that they were professionals doing a job.
Anyway, I won't comment further.

Right. She said Dr not consultant. And it is the midwife’s role to call for assistance but they didn’t

You can raise Lucy Letby all you like - which when you actually read the evidence doesn’t seem a fair trial.

You will always get people who cross the boundaries - that’s why stringent safeguarding needs to be implemented- and I’ll always have a side eye at a man who wants to look at women’s vaginas all day