To find this off-putting - literacy

[StrawberryDream24]

Started seeing a man (he's mid 40s). Having met him through a sports club (unlike OLD) there was no messaging, other than brief texts, before we started dating.

It's increasingly becoming clear that he has literacy issues

He has not worked in roles that demanded good literacy.

He seems to prefer calling, I'm starting to think the literacy is the main reason why.

Aibu to find this off putting?

Would many people feel the same way?

Think about what you're actually saying.

So if in your opinion it isn't fine to have preferences over what you find attractive, what you're actually saying is that people should be forced to have relationships with other people who have things about them that the person doesn't find attractive.

I've never heard anything so fucking ridiculous in my life.

Not wanting a relationship with someone with dyslexia doesn't mean I wouldn't respect them, or be friends with them, or work with them, or vote for them if they were up for election, etc etc it simply means I wouldn't want to build a life with them or marry them.

That's not being bigoted. Look up the meaning of that word because you clearly don't know what it means.

No, we don't know if he is dyslexic or not which is why I also mentioned illiteracy being from other difficulties. I was trying to highlight why it is frustrating for people with literacy issues and how that feels, obviously without any eloquency. I'm poor at communication in the written word, hardly surprising given my literacy issues, it doesn't make my opinion less valid than anyone elses.

As for him being frustrated, I'm not surprised. It is one thing to understand that some people have literacy issues, it's quite another to live with them in a society that values only higher levels of literacy. People get angry or upset about the things they are sensitive about, not everyone is into analysing every emotion they feel, it's up to them.

So he was a prat about it, no one needs to keep going on dates with him which is what my final paragraph was about.

Dyslexia and poor spelling don't mean someone lacks intelligence.

But of course you can stop dating someone for whatever reason you like.

He can't seem to sound things out and then put the letters on paper. eg breekie. That's supposed to be the short version of breakfast.

@DeliciousApples

Maybe it is undiagnosed dyslexia..

My knowledge on the subject is extremely limited but I've noticed that "doubling" of the wrong letter (e.g. e instead of k) or unnecessarily doubling a letter in text by two male ex work colleagues and my uncle. I can't remember what my uncle wrote, but the two colleagues (architects) often wrote "dinning room" instead of "dining room" on plans.

Of course they do.
He might not be able to spell well but I bet there's something he can do that she can't.

It's a shitty post.

Exactly, bet she wouldn't worry if he was rich and running a successful business.

Only getting to know him; but seems like a good parent, cares about his elderly Mum (visits a lot), seems supportive, easy to talk to, interested in a serious relationship, doesn't seem like a cheater ..

He might not be able to spell well but I bet there's something he can do that she can't.

There are skills that are called "basic" for a reason.

Their lack is not compensated for by other random skills.

You sound like an incel.

That's quite an "achievement" for a woman (if you are one).

What a load of rubbish. How do you know the OP isn't rich and successful herself? Your comment says a lot about you and your values.
OP finds it off-putting and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, many people would feel the same as can be seen on here.

Despite my comments on (imo) offensive posts, I do understand what you mean
@StrawberryDream24 If you stay in this relationship you may find that you start to stop saying anything about this issue and just nod along so as not to start an argument, but then you will just be tormented with it.

Like I said she wouldn't worry if he was rich.
This is a vile post trying to put someone down.
Nobody's perfect not even the OP.
I bet there's something he can do that she can't.
He could pick her up on that.
I wish he could see this and kick her into touch.

Oh god, the “whole school of hard knocks / university of life” claims give me the ick as well

Not your fault you couldn’t understand the text. It’s the him ringing you and being rude l couldn’t take

Why do you think OP would find him attractive if he was rich? It wouldn't change his literacy level or his attitude, those things are what the OP is concerned with.
Anyway, it would be very difficult for the man to see and assimilate what's been written on here.....because he's functionally illiterate. I think OP will be the one getting rid, not him.

Dyslexia isn't a choice or something that happens because you're lazy, though - it's a learning disability that he has no control over.

I've had dyslexic partners before and my DH also struggles with reading. I can't imagine being bothered as long as he's a good person.

Of course they do.

You're nuts. Of course people can criticise things like their partner's treatment of them, regardless of their own skills. You're evidently not as perfect as you think you are!

Show him how to dictate voice to text on his phone.

Architects are often dyslexic (so I've heard). I assume it's a particular set of strengths that coincide with difficulty reading/ ordering letters - really interesting.

No-one, including myself, knows if he is dyslexic.

And my point stands .... Basic literacy is considered a basic skill in modern society. Other skills cannot really compensate for it.

Dyslexia is an umbrella term but it 2 of the things it can offer is the ability to think in 3D and spacial awareness which is wildly useful to architects.

Sorry edited to add and spacial awareness

Yanbu
Personally I think good communication is key.

His poor communication will always grate imo.
My advice would be to get someone at your level. Don’t think you can teach an old dog new tricks.

And my point stands .... Basic literacy is considered a basic skill in modern society.

And if he's dyslexic (very likely) then it's not his fault and there's nothing he can do to improve the situation.

I don't know why you posted really - if you've gone off him then you don't have to see hmm again, the reasons are totally irrelevant.

Maybe that's why I'm quite shit at thinking in 3D lol

there's nothing he can do to improve the situation

That doesn't appear to be what other posters are saying.

And, again, we don't know for certain that he's dyslexic.