Inheritance dispute with husband

[icantwaitforsummer]

Both me and my husband work full time, he earns more than me and has more free cash at the end of every month. We have a mortgage and DC.

I had 2 family members die suddenly this year. Shit year, still processing it all.

One left me a small flat, just got a tenant in there and rental income will be about £300 a month after taxes fees etc. Hoping to keep it for 15 years and then give it to DC.

My mum died and left me a share of her house, (shared with siblings) so will be about 80k

I was hoping to put the £300 a month in a stocks and shares ISA and then in 10 years go part time/partially retired.

The other 80k share with my husband, he wants to buy an old flat, and we do it up as a 'project'. And use any money we make to overpay mortgage.

But he also thinks the £300 a month should pay off more of our mortgage in overpayments or go into the joint account each month and reduce his contributions.

AIBU in thinking if I keep a little bit for me is ok? And he could save more of his extra income or make mortgage overpayments but he has absolutely no interest in doing that.

When you’re ready to make plans, it’s probably worth speaking to a financial adviabout potential benefits of investing in your pension . After all, your husband’s pension will be much more valuable if he’s out-earned you for years.

Are you being deliberately obtuse? Some people share all their finances (me and my husband do) and everything goes in one pot, including inheritance. However in THIS SPECIFIC CASE the husband has been selfishly keeping more money for himself for years. So it’s really not a case of “either inheritance is shared between spouses or it’s not” because clearly different couples deal with finances in different ways so you don’t always apply the same rule - it depends on the circumstances.

Have you considered talking to a financial advisor to look at short, medium and long term goals? Their advice my change your thinking

You're really not even trying. It helps to read before ranting, I find.

I can see you are not legal.

You could both agree to put the same overpayment amount each towards the mortgage. I think that paying off the mortgage and having investments can both be done, it doesn't have to be either/or decision.

Are you below 40? If so, I'd get a stocks and shares LISA and get tax back whilst you invest. Hargreaves Landsdown has a great platform for this, Martin Lewis often mentions it. I use it myself and it's made investing so easy, I now have a great lump sum to look forwards to when I reach 60, which could allow me to retire earlier, if I wish.

Love and romance is great and all, but it won't prevent you from living in poverty in your old age.

And really - what is love, if it isn't making sure that you both will be okay even if things go tits up in the relationship? Or is love supposed to be more conditional than that?

I hope you’re ok op, this would be quite a confronting realisation about who your dh really is, and how much he cares about you.