Not aloud to touch the telly

[dazzledfrog]

Been married 12 years and have 4 children but not aloud to touch "his" telly which is in our lounge.

Dh uses it for gaming mostly or occasionally to watch something he wants and says nobody is to touch his telly apart from him.
He even has a code on it so nobody can touch it while he's at work.
Dc who are school age and a baby can't watch it after school because he's at work and nobody's aloud to touch it.
I can't watch it during the day and have a baby so I'm at home all day.
When I first met Dh he already had a telly so I accepted it was his telly but since then he's replaced it with our joint money and it's still his telly.
He isn't going to budge on this and no amount of talk or compromising is going to change anything.

He sits there all evening/weekends playing Xbox games and the rest of the family is never allowed to watch anything.
The (primarily school) children are told to watch telly in their room which they don't want to and he says I can talk to him while he's on his Xbox.
I wish we could have family time watching films or telly together.
I don't think there's anything I can do about it and feel bad for the children.

He's a twat

That’s really antisocial and unkind. He’s also exerting a disturbing degree of control from over you all, even when he’s out the house.

Is this the only abusive thing he does, or are there more behaviours that worry you?

I think what you can do is stop having children with this man child with immediate effect.

Using your JOINT money to buy a TV and proclaiming it as his? Refusing to speak to you whilst he plays Xbox? What on earth

I'm sorry OP but I you need to seriously reconsider this relationship not just for your own sake but your children's sake. They can't continue to see this behaviour as normal or acceptable when it's anything but.

This is a joint home for your entire family, he has no more right to be restricting the family's use of the living area as your baby does.

Does he engage with the children at all? Or just watch his shows/play his games?

He sounds like a teenager who has been given the responsibility and power of a dad. What else does he do that is incredibly selfish, immature and controlling? I can't imagine it's the only thing.

That's ridiculous, why are you with him? I would buy a telly and put it in front of 'his' telly. A lounge is family space and this is not a good example to be setting your children

Why are you with him?

That is absolutely vile.

Move his Telly to his mums house and buy a new one!!

seriously what’s he bringing into this relationship.

Nobody would put up with this and not see it as controlling abuse surely. What are his good points? Why's he using your electricity?

That’s gross. You definitely don’t want your kids watching telly in their rooms, one thing if they choose to but this sounds like he’s encouraging isolating them so that he can play his games.
ALL weekend?? How incredibly selfish. He should want to play with his children and spend time with them, not be sending them away.

If it was paid for with joint money, it's half yours.....nobody should be ' not allowed' to do something in an adult relationship!
Why are you letting him treat you and your children this way....are you fearful of him? It sounds like he is used to having control.You need to be firm with him that the TV and lounge are to be used by your whole family, primary school kids should be sitting in bedrooms.
If you don't feel able to assert yourself due to fear, or he won't budge, I think you need to end the relationship, and to be honest I would be suprised if he will change as he sounds like a disrespectful idiot.

This is the only thing, he's not controlling in any other way, just possessive over his telly.

Your fault for putting up with it.

Do women seriously have children with these men??? What on earth possessed you to get, and stay!, involved with him?

You can leave. Op I will send you a new TV you can watch whenever you want to...

This man is controlling. Please protect your children from him and leave. Do it for them if not for you (although you should do it for you, too)

YOUR tv, too. It was joint money. Its not his sole possession.

it starts with the tv and then what next?!

I’ve just got the second hand ick from reading that.

He's selfish and controlling and mean. Get another tv or steal his controller.

Does his family know that you're not allowed to touch his television?

What a controlling arsehole, why did you have kids with him?

OP you cannot believe this is normal?

Why on earth would you allow someone to tell you that you can't watch your own TV during the day? That's deeply controlling.

If my husband told me I couldn't watch the telly I'd tell him to fuck off. If he put a code on it so that I couldn't watch it, you can be damn sure that I would stick a hammer through it to make sure no one could.

You sound so passive, it make me wonder if he's abusive in other ways?

When was the last time you asked for the code and how did he respond?

I don't understand why you allow this?

Ridiculous how have you managed to have 4 children and stay with this knob . Ultimatum time , telly is for everyone , x box is for when everyone else has gone to bed or you are out of there .

Aside from the TV issue, this is a bit of a red flag:

He sits there all evening/weekends playing Xbox games and the rest of the family is never allowed to watch anything.

It sounds like he's being quite selfish with his time considering he has four kids and a wife who might like to spend time with him without him focusing on his games.

What would he do if you touched it?