Not aloud to touch the telly

[dazzledfrog]

Been married 12 years and have 4 children but not aloud to touch "his" telly which is in our lounge.

Dh uses it for gaming mostly or occasionally to watch something he wants and says nobody is to touch his telly apart from him.
He even has a code on it so nobody can touch it while he's at work.
Dc who are school age and a baby can't watch it after school because he's at work and nobody's aloud to touch it.
I can't watch it during the day and have a baby so I'm at home all day.
When I first met Dh he already had a telly so I accepted it was his telly but since then he's replaced it with our joint money and it's still his telly.
He isn't going to budge on this and no amount of talk or compromising is going to change anything.

He sits there all evening/weekends playing Xbox games and the rest of the family is never allowed to watch anything.
The (primarily school) children are told to watch telly in their room which they don't want to and he says I can talk to him while he's on his Xbox.
I wish we could have family time watching films or telly together.
I don't think there's anything I can do about it and feel bad for the children.

just get another tv and connect it up and put it in a space to watch with your kids make it the comfy space. If necessary move "his" tv.
And please correct - it is allowed not aloud

This is truly awful. Not even letting you watch tv whilst he's not there, on a tv you jointly paid for!

Personally I'd be leaving him and having my own home, where my children are allowed to sit downstairs and watch tv and aren't watching me being abused, but it doesn't sound like you see it that way?

If you do choose to continue living with him then I'd purchase your own tv from joint funds for you and the kids to watch.

I don't understand why it's his TV. It's in the family home. It should be available for the family to watch.

Don't accept this shit.

Does he do his share around the house, cook, clean childcare or are you doing it all whilst waiting on him? What makes a good man/father out of him?

This had me howling 😂

If he wants to have his own tv that the family can't use then it has to be in another room. He can't dominate the lounge, which is a family room. Buy another tv and move his out to the shed.

If he wants to be so weird about his things he should sort himself a man-cave or some such.

It's utterly unreasonable to make the main lounge television 'his' and ban everyone from using it.

He sounds like a man-child, OP.

I would tolerate that for about 5 mins before I hit the roof. But I wouldn’t be remotely attracted to a grown man who played an Xbox.

Selfish man child. You don't have to put up with this. Poor kids. Let them have some nice childhood memories, not these. Leave the twat and make your own rules.

I could never be with anyone that showed me that level of disrespect. However it’s one thing to allow him to treat you like that, but what are you teaching the kids about the way he treats them and their mother . I’d bin him and raise my kids alone in a happy home where communal areas are… communal, and loving and fun.

You both paid for it therefore everyone in the household should be able to use it. If he wants a TV just for his gaming then he needs to buy another TV. He's a manchhild wants to live like he's a bachelor. But also wants wife and children. Does he do anything else when at home?

Me either. Immature and selfish is not attractive.

When I first met DH he lived on his own and didn't have a TV, just a computer. I moved in with him when I had DD and he bought a TV for us, I was a SAHM. This is what normal, thoughtful men do.

If you won’t dump him then hide the cables for the x box and tv in ridiculous places and feign ignorance. Every single time. I’d also change the WiFi password so he has to reset each each time he tries to play the Xbox online.

He’ll soon get bored of looking for the cables/ faffing around with passcodes and will move the tv somewhere else. You can then move the kids tv downstairs. The greater win would be to move him and the tv out of your home altogether - you and the kids will be happier that way.

This post has actually made me feel really sad

It irks me too but there's a time and a place for correcting errors and a thread about an abusive partner is not it.

That TV would be waiting outside along with his clothes etc the first time he ever did this to me. I’d be happy for him to take it and go wherever he chose when he returned from work. Absolutely no chance would I be putting up with this shit nor his gaming. What is this teaching your children allowing him to do this?

WTAF why are you putting up with this shit OP?!

The brain of a 15 year old boy... what a prick.

I'd kick a man out for this nonsense tbh op, what a bellend

I'm pretty sure if we had a collective Mumsnet whip round we could get a pot together to buy you a fuck off state of the art telly to stick in the other corner of the room complete with humongous sound bar so that you and the kids can enjoy watching TV together. Alternatively you could leave the miserly controlling cockwomble

is he the father of your children? Cause he’s “othering” them.

it’s understandable to not want children to possibly damage your things but surely you teach your own kids how to use things properly instead of banning the rest of the household

If you paid half for it then half of it is yours. I would be tempted to put some gaffer tape over my half of the telly. A nice lattice pattern would be nice, or stripes, vertical, diagonal or horizontal, or just blank out half of the damn thing.

Buy another tv? Pretty crap you’d have to do that but I would

Why have you continued to breed with this man?