Not aloud to touch the telly

[dazzledfrog]

Been married 12 years and have 4 children but not aloud to touch "his" telly which is in our lounge.

Dh uses it for gaming mostly or occasionally to watch something he wants and says nobody is to touch his telly apart from him.
He even has a code on it so nobody can touch it while he's at work.
Dc who are school age and a baby can't watch it after school because he's at work and nobody's aloud to touch it.
I can't watch it during the day and have a baby so I'm at home all day.
When I first met Dh he already had a telly so I accepted it was his telly but since then he's replaced it with our joint money and it's still his telly.
He isn't going to budge on this and no amount of talk or compromising is going to change anything.

He sits there all evening/weekends playing Xbox games and the rest of the family is never allowed to watch anything.
The (primarily school) children are told to watch telly in their room which they don't want to and he says I can talk to him while he's on his Xbox.
I wish we could have family time watching films or telly together.
I don't think there's anything I can do about it and feel bad for the children.

What a nasty bully

Did you miss the bit about playing Xbox all evening and weekend? Not sure when he’s pulling his weight as a father…..

You got four children in to before you question whether he’s a selfish controlling man-child? 🙄

Throw the tv out of the window and reconsider your life.

@dazzledfrog And what would happen if you or the kids touched 'his' telly?

Assuming he is genuinely lovely in all other ways, apart from being a controlling a@e about "his" telly- I would remove from him everything else - all meals you would normally cook, food, sex, anything else in the house hes keen on. Or the connecting cables from the tv! OR suggest he read this thread to see what people here have to say. OR suggest relationship counselling. Whatever you do, choose something and dont settle for this. Totally not ok.

Whenever I read these kinds of posts on MN, which is pretty often, I find myself wondering what people think being a single parent is like. They must think it’s really really awful, because the crap people will tolerate in order to stay married is mind boggling.

Hate this phrase but first post nails it !

I’m guessing his genuine loveliness is somewhat hidden by the fact that he plays Xbox all the time when he’s not at work.

@MumblesParty I was replying to that particular post about having time to game.
But yeah it's not on if that's all he's doing!

Why do you put up with it?

I'm sorry op, but how can you not know that this whole situation is completely abusive? Why haven't you left a long long time ago?

This is horrible. It reminds me of how I grew up. My dad wasn't into xbox, but just the control and setting petty rules, and impacting the whole family with his moods.

It's crazy what I grew up thinking was normal. The effects are lifelong.

Get out for your children. You have the power to get them out and give them better than this. They deserve better and so do you.

Have you tried searching online for an instruction manual for the tv? If you find one for your make and model you may be able to factory reset it to get rid of the code.

Obviously doesn't help with the husband problem but at least you'll be able to use the tv.

What a loser.

So; really you have five children. Does he have anything good about him because this sounds really shit. Perhaps speak to a lawyer.

What you can do is make different choices for the future of your children.

He really isn't normal or nice.

Tell him if he doesn't give you the code you will buy a new TV and put the code locked one in the front garden and mean it.

If money is tight, contact the TV manufacturer and ask how to change the code.

Anything on the internet on how to reset the code? Google it and the brand. Might be able to reset it and own the code. What's the brand? There is generally a way of over riding a code. Or smash your half. Might as well as you can't watch it. The idea of resetting the code really appeals tho.

I would actually leave over this.

What a twat.

I can't believe it's the only thing he's a twat about. What about spending the weekend gaming? Is he doing his share of parenting? (I doubt he is).

but since then he's replaced it with our joint money and it's still his telly.

He’s abusive, even if you can’t see it. He’s so controlling. And he has no right to be so controlling that television.

Yeah, I’d cut off the plugs.

If you aren't scared of him buy a newer, bigger one and put in front of his and lock with a code. Then move out and leave him with a constant reminder of how much of dick he is

Buy another telly out of your joint money. Lock it. Put it in the kitchen or dining room if you've got one. Watch what you like. Ignore him and lead a separate life with the kids.

This is so sad. Watching movies is something we all do as a family - is one of the loveliest things about having slightly older kids. They should be asleep but I can hear them talking about a documentary that one of them has put on. TV can provide a nice unifying focus. But your husband couldn't give a shit about those moments, your comfort, having family time, or anybody but himself. I'm afraid my temper would rule and I'd bin a cable or two. Or reprogramme it in his absence. Or better still, leave him.

You had multiple kids with this twat even though he was like this when you first met him??