Feeling a bit sad that 2 of my best friends don’t care we just bought our first home

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Took us a decade to save towards a deposit but we finally made it and recently moved to our new, modest home.
I have a few really close friends (some of them live abroad) and we are in contact almost daily in a whatsapp group amd always talk about everything. However, teo of them have showed basically zero interest in our new home, never asked any questions when we were looking, only replied with a brief msg when we said our offer was accepted and din’t even once bother asking to see a pic or a question about where the house is, what does it look like etc.
AIBU to expect my closest friends to show some interest in such a major life event?

I think attitudes to home ownership are quite different in UK to that of people in other countries. So that old friends, now scattered around the globe, may not realise, because they are in different contexts, how important is your achievement in buying a first house.
Around 50yrs ago I advised a New Yorker friend to buy a brownstone house in Manhattan (they were relatively affordable then, on a mortgage). He thought I was weird - he was renting a rather plush apartment on Riverside Drive at the time. I think he bought. I hope he's grateful now for that advice!
I have a German SIL. His job is peripatetic, so renting is currently the only option. He thinks my daughter's hankering to, one day, own a house of their own is quite peculiar.

Being able to buy your own home in/near London, nowadays, is a big deal.

But only UK folks would realise what a big deal it is, now, for anyone who isn't actually an oligarch or a hedge-fund manager.
In other parts of the world there are healthy rental markets where owners and renters have a civilised and humane relationship with each other. Just not here.

As is getting engaged/married or having a baby, arguably more so, but those seem to be the only things people are interested in celebrating.

I think they're shit friends or they're jealous or both.

All my friends and I have been excited for each other over major life things and even if you arent genuinely excited you still ask questions or show an interest.
I've been on the other side when some of my friend group showed 0 interest in me being pregnant after infertility issues and behaved no better when baby arrived. I now know they're just self centred shits, it makes life easier.

I knew I’d be in the minority here because it’s MN after all 😂 Most friends are excited for their friends when they buy a house/get engaged/have a baby etc etc. Not as excited as you, but yes most people show a basic level of interest in real life.

It’s not all about you. No one ever knows everything about someone however open they appear to be in a WhatsApp debate. You don’t know their history, hopes or struggles, and perhaps shouldn’t expect a fanfare.

A celebratory message is hardly a fanfare. It’s not that deep!

Sorry op, pretty much every one I know has bought a home so it’s not a major life event but just an event. I would say happy new home but would not show any difference to it you move home renting if I’m honest (and I can only think of two people I know that rent).

These are lifelong friends. They know each other’s history, hopes and struggles.

Sorry, but I don't think they are your friends. Maybe they were in the past, but not now.
I'd probably back off from the group a bit as trying to force it won't end happily

Typical MN response. I’m surprised people actually have friends if they think like this.

Other people’s good fortune sometimes brings up stuff for other people
so you have a partner
you have got a home together
what is their situation.
I I’m really happy for my friends and family when things go really well for them and always congratulate people et cetera however
I am currently unable to walk far as I’m waiting awaiting surgery. I am sick of people sending me jolly messages about the Long Beach walks and Hill walking and lovely times they’re having together along with photographs. It’s so bloody insensitive..
Hope your situation gets better

It's OK to agree to disagree. I don't personally think there's really a huge difference in terms of the fanfare I'd expect between "moving house" and "buying a house". I rented for many years moving between properties, and have bought a few houses and moved around in more recent years. I just don't see it as a big deal. Unless a friend specifically told me that this was a particularly important thing for them, I'd not assume it was.

Sorry not everyone should need to validate or gush over what happens in your life. You are expecting too much. You sound like my adult daughter when I don't fawn all over her all the time.

Agree with both of you, most of the people in this thread must have shit friendships.

When one of my closest mates moves in somewhere new or has a big life milestone we're always excited for each other. All my friends were excited to see my flat when I completed. One of my best friends opened a business a couple of years ago and when she got the keys for her new shop I went down to check it out and help her rip up the old flooring, because I love her and I was hyped for her.

I didn't read all the posts in this thread a particular stand out for me was someone saying that they'd feel too rude to ask for interior photos of their friends new house 😂 mental

Jesus Christ. Read the OP. Sending a congratulatory text message is hardly ‘fawning’ or ‘gushing’!

Some really bitter people on this thread! Bizarre.

good god isn't there just!

This post with this user name was funny. Bright Leader of Grinches maybe with your heart four sizes too small. 😁

Hi OP, I’m a bit late in on this thread, but still wanted to say congratulations on saving hard and managing to buy your first new home. Took me a very long time too as it’s so hard in this country. I also wanted to say I would feel exactly the same as you if my close friends didn’t show excitement for me and wanted to know everything about my new home. I feel very sad for the many posters on here that do not think it’s something friends should want to celebrate for each other, I certainly wouldn’t want friends like theirs, or more to the point - them as friends! My best friend bought her first home before me and I was over the moon for her (quietly envious of course but this didn’t detract from the joy I felt for her). I wanted to know everything and see pictures etc. and have followed all her refurbishments etc. with interest. But we’re clearly different people to a lot of others and they say not to judge others by your own standards! Well done OP x

I think you’ve answered your question here. They’re just not the type to show interest in the lives of others / or life events that they’re not in. It isn’t that uncommon for friendships to change when one of the people “moves on” to another life stage (like having kids, marrying, buying a house…). It can be hard to relate when you’re not at that stage yet. You’re right that it would be nice of them to show some interest, but not everyone is like that.
Quite a few people here mentioned another possible reason which I think could also be very valid- house ownership is not as big a thing in all countries. Do you know how their own feelings /ambitions are towards buying a house? Do they really want to buy but are unable to? (In that case their reaction might be comparable to someone who’s struggling with fertility issues- some distance themselves from pregnant friends because it’s too painful). Or are they renting because they have no ambitions to ever buy? (Maybe they prefer the freedom to have a more nomadic lifestyle, don’t see the benefits of owning your own home…). Another possible reason (and this is why my mum wasn’t happy when I bought a house abroad) are they maybe sad because they now realise you are never going to return (presuming they live in the country that you came from)?
Other reasons could be: they prefer to ask in person / asking about a house feels very private to them / they left it up to you to share what you want to share….

looking forward I think it’s important you look at the positives in these friendships. What do they bring you? And accept that they’re are not the types who show interest in certain life events. That doesn’t mean they don’t like you as a person, or that they’re not supportive. They are just not the type to ask you via app for details.

What stage are these friends at? I found myself much more interested in these major life events for others when I was at a similar stage myself. (Houses, babies, endless conversations about stripping wallpaper and weekend trips to B&Q)! There may be a little jealousy as well perhaps?

I’d ask for a pic and check sold prices on zoopla, but if you had a kid or a dog I wouldn’t care at all. Some things interest people, some don’t.

@Jiski Why on earth would you check sold prices on zoopla?!

This thread really just keeps on giving!

Because I am the most nosy person ever!