Feeling a bit sad that 2 of my best friends don’t care we just bought our first home

[Seekingchange]

Took us a decade to save towards a deposit but we finally made it and recently moved to our new, modest home.
I have a few really close friends (some of them live abroad) and we are in contact almost daily in a whatsapp group amd always talk about everything. However, teo of them have showed basically zero interest in our new home, never asked any questions when we were looking, only replied with a brief msg when we said our offer was accepted and din’t even once bother asking to see a pic or a question about where the house is, what does it look like etc.
AIBU to expect my closest friends to show some interest in such a major life event?

Ah, in that case then I would assume they are jealous. Its sad though that they're like that and can't be supportive.

I find other peoples house and cars monumentally dull

I agree. Something in me switches off mentally when people start talking about house purchases and renovations. I find it painfully tedious.

I would still feign a polite amount of interest with a friend so as not to offend but don’t kid yourself that people are genuinely interested.

I also don’t think it’s reasonable to police what others find interesting. Some people love to hear about others kids and pets, others find it unbelievably dull and would rather talk about what you watched on TV or what you are reading. And that’s OK.

I find it far easier to show interest in life events that have an emotional element: weddings, births, deaths. In a number of countries home ownership isn't a big deal. I would find it hard to get excited about a purchase and I say that as someone who has bought their own home. It's very linked to money and income, I wouldn't congratulate a friend on how much they have in their ISA, pension etc. My flat isn't as nice as the homes that are rented by some of my friends, I wouldn't expect them to be excited about my flat just because the underlying finances are different. I actually don't agree owning a home is a life.

I think some people are missing the point. It’s not about what you find interesting or important in life, it’s the fact that this is clearly interesting and important to your friend and therefore showing some basic interest and congratulating her is just good manners!

It really is a non event to anyone else

In the UK renting can be a very insecure form of accommodation though, so buying can and often does come with happy/relieved emotional weather.
I would imagine anyone from the UK originally would know that, even though other countries may be different.

In my group of friends, I'm not sure we ever did that much/if any house buying congratulating. It can been a sensitive topic as it relates to people's finances.

It can be hard for people when you are getting something they would like themselves but are not in a position to have. Don’t take it personally.

Yes! Maybe they’re thinking they’re glad they rent rather than having the millstone of home ownership round their necks! If they’re happy to rent and be able to up sticks if they so wished, then maybe they don’t see the point of buying a home…everyone is different. However, in saying that, good luck in your new home OP, good health and happiness to enjoy it!

Just to clarify, @Seekingchange I don't actually think it's bizarre for you to hope for some feedback from your friends! I was responding in kind to a pp but I suppose that might not have been obvious. I think in cases like this people often add some hyperbole to their viewpoint, in order to make a point.

My only aim is to possibly help you to see that friendship, and what it means, does tend to exist on a spectrum and sometimes expecting others to behave exactly as you would is misguided. Sometimes with good friends, as long as they actually are good friends, you fare a lot better if you make allowances here and there. That's all I was saying.

I'll go back to what I said in the beginning: you have achieved a huge milestone of which you can be rightfully proud, and regardless of whether or not all your friends have responded the way you would have liked, that is your achievement which no one can take away from you! 💐

Buying your first home after a decade of saving to achieve your dream would, for most people, be considered a major life event. It’s in the milestones time line right? First romantic partner, graduation, first job, engagement, marriage, first home, first child… etc. (Not necessarily all in that order!) My close friends and family have celebrated all those milestones with me and I with them not out of obligation but because I love them and am happy for them. I am baffled that close friends would not celebrate their friend fulfilling a long held dream, even if it is not their personal dream.

Maybe they don't want to be too nosy.
I would prefer my friends to not make a big deal about me buying a house.
I would feel a little uncomfortable buying one whern they have not afforded one.

The OP has said her friends live in countries where renting is the norm, a cultural difference not a financial disparity

A card with good luck with your move or some trite bollocks.

Moving and getting a mortgage for a house is a pretty normal life occurrence for many many people. I wouldn't expect friends to have more than an indifference really.

Every life major life event is “normal” births, marriages, deaths etc. etc. I bet most people on here would ask their friends about all the other “normal” events in their lives but a new house? Nothing to see here……….

I'd have sent you a card and made some fake fuss but in all honesty I wouldn't be that interested.

My SIL gets mortally offended at everyone for not being as obsessed as she is over every single event in her life. It's so boring.

Not a new house a first house, a dream they had saved 10 years to make happen. That wouldn’t register as significant for you?

It features about as much as when people have children. A massive deal in the parents' lives. Doesn't matter much to anyone else. I might put a "like" on Facebook but that's about it.

I'd do the same, a few polite questions and congratulations, but it wouldn't be a big deal.

You have completely misinterpreted my post, I’m being sarcastic.

Because they're jelalous

That's all

I understand why you would feel disappointed that they haven't shown much interest - I would feel the same. I lived in NZ for 2 years and none of my immediate family expressed any interest in hearing where we were living, what our lives were like, what we liked and disliked, and none of them visited in the 2 years we were there. It was hurtful.
I would just assume they haven't realised how important this is to you. Maybe they don't understand what a big deal it is, as they're not in the UK so don't understand the housing market here. Maybe as one PP said they are aware that their own financial circumstances don't allow them to do the same.
If it was my own close friends, I would say outright what a big deal this was to me but then leave it, just in case you're pressing some buttons.

Apologies - sarcasm can be hard to pick up in text 😀

One of my siblings knew that I really want to move out but can't afford to as a single person. She can only do so because of her much higher earning partner.
I do feel she rubbed it in my face a bit when they first moved in. Both her and her partner insisting I come round immediately and not understanding that it would be difficult for me.
Some people get very wrapped up in their excitement and good fortune but don't always realise that it can be hard for someone else when they desperately want the same thing. Not saying this is the case with you at all but just offering a perspective from the other side.

Honestly this thread sums up what I think is going wrong with humans, particularly post covid. So many people that say they wouldn't be fussed about someone's new home and wouldn't ask about it. Celebrating someone else's success does not detract from your life or your journey. It is a sad state of affairs when supposed friends wouldn't get excited or at the very least show some enthusiasm for their pal's first (or just new) house. I'm always interested in seeing what people are doing or buying. Why? Because I know it's taken a lot of hardwork on my friends behalfs to get to where they have gotten. It costs nothing to share in someone else's joy. OP - Congratulations on buying your first house. No mean feat, and particularly with London prices x