Feeling a bit sad that 2 of my best friends don’t care we just bought our first home

[Seekingchange]

Took us a decade to save towards a deposit but we finally made it and recently moved to our new, modest home.
I have a few really close friends (some of them live abroad) and we are in contact almost daily in a whatsapp group amd always talk about everything. However, teo of them have showed basically zero interest in our new home, never asked any questions when we were looking, only replied with a brief msg when we said our offer was accepted and din’t even once bother asking to see a pic or a question about where the house is, what does it look like etc.
AIBU to expect my closest friends to show some interest in such a major life event?

Couldn’t agree more.

The only thing I can think of OP is that if it’s a chat maybe other people have commented and they didn’t want to add on top of other comments but they have noted it. If you’d have been in a separate WhatsApp chat one-to-one they would they have been more interested?

im buying a house but don’t expect my close friend to care too much.

many more important things in life

This. If it’s a group, someone else has asked and you’ve answered them so everyone knows. Were you expecting every person would comment and whole chat would be just about you buying a house for the next few hours? Did these people maybe just miss that moment and chat had moved on to something else?

No is the simple answer to you question.
You cannot expect a parade just because you have done something mundane.
To you, it is a milestone achievement, to others, "meh, we have enough shit/life to do without turning cartwheels because a friend bought a house.
Yes, it's shit to you perhaps, but that is life today. People expect to be the centre of everyone else's world

Same, I’m definitely interested in my friends’ life events. EG my oldest friend is in the process of buying a house and I ask her regularly how it’s going - not well, hence probably why I have to ask and am not told! But seems so dismissive and unfriendly to not ask about this massive thing in her life.

edit - regularly as in, 3 times in 6 months, not an annoying amount!

Also wanting constant reassurance
It's tedious and rather sadly pathetic

God what a sad approach. Since when is buying a house mundane anyway, everywhere you look it’s touted as being the hardest thing ever! It’s not exactly everyday.

You say a lot of ‘I expected them to …’ which is always risky! Having high expectations of others can often lead to disappointment OP. Congratulations on your new home. It’s clearly not a big deal for some of your friends who probably have no idea that they haven’t met your expectations in terms of their responses to your big news. They haven’t done anything wrong, they just haven’t met your expectations. You need to let this go and concentrate on your future.

The process may be hard, but it is something done every day by 100s of people.

You are being very nasty with your comment.

1. I haven’t been going on and on about it as I have mentioned, just talked about it twice (via a short message) and the whole process took months.
2. I am not expecting to be SHOWERED with complimenta and interest, I simply said I would have expected at least a couple of simple comments and a bit of interest from two of my closest friends since childhood.
3. Not that it is any of your business but the UK isn’t my native country, I came here with nothing, worked my way up slowly to a very good income however rents in London are very high and so are house prices so yes, it took us almost a decade to set aside £70K + becase this is what is needed here for a deposit plus the other house buying expenses. Zero family help.

You sound rather nasty.

Did they send congrats messages via the WhatsApp chat? I think most people would expect that to be enough. Maybe a few Qs about whether it needs any work, what the garden is like etc...

I usually say congrats, then ask for their new address and send a "happy new home" card, but probably not much more than that.

If they're good friends I wouldn't read too much into it.
Good luck in your new home OP.

New houses, like babies, are really only interesting to the people who own them.

There are hundreds of babies born in the UK every day and dozens of marriages, but it's still nice to congratulate friends when they are the ones to get married or have a baby.

Indeed. But hundreds of your friends aren’t doing it simultaneously, and it doesn’t happen hundreds of times in your friend’s life. It’s nice to know about other people, how they’re doing, it’s nice when people appear to care about you and your life. It’s not hard either, with a friend it’s a pleasure to have a chat :)

Just wait until you get married, have kids etc…. Your life is your life- you’re not living it to entertain someone else. They are never going to be as interested in it as much as you are.

Ahhh they haven’t bought. Yeah so it’s a bit of a foreign idea to them and perhaps a dream they’ll never peruse. Yeah not all my friends were fussed when we bought. They’ll be more interested if they buy too.

I'm surprised they've not shown any interest at all unless you've been droning on about it ad finitum already. House hunters tend to be a bit tunnel visioned sometimes. Also, you now have different priorities - you're in a world of soft furnishings and the never ending home maintenance whereas they're not.

Congratulations btw, it really feels like growing up!

Also personally I’m not as fussed by house purchases. Always more excited about weddings and babies but that’s just me!

If it was in the group chat and they said congratulations maybe the others asked the leading questions so they feel they were part of the chat/took part.

God this is a depressing mindset, and apparently not uncommon based on this thread.

I love seeing and hearing about anything exciting in my friends’ lives - including, but not limited to, new houses, new babies, new jobs, weddings, kids’ achievements etc. Because I enjoy seeing them happy because they’re, you know, my friends and I like them. I can’t imagine going through life with the miserable self-absorbed mindset displayed on this thread.

This is essentially what it boils down to. I don't consider buying a house to be "one of life's major events" so anyone expecting that kind of reaction from me is going to be disappointed because it wouldn't occur to me to place that kind of importance on it.

New baby, marriage, divorce, bereavement, serious illness, I would absolutely make a huge fuss. But moving house? I just don't think it's that major. If someone wants a big song and dance about it, they'd have to communicate that to me rather than silently seething because we view it differently. It's not a black and white, right and wrong issue. It's clear from this thread that it's not universally considered to be a particularly massive deal.

There’s a chance you underplayed it. So they don’t think it was that big a thing. I know in some countries most people rent their whole lives, so perhaps they don’t really understand the excitement of a mortgage.

No, I wouldn't expect a fuss. You say they did respond when you told them. They said congratulations right? What more do you want?

I never talk about home ownership to my friends who are renting. But when I invited them for dinner, they brought gifts (which I didn't expect).

You are accusing PPs of having questionable social skills?
How brave of you to generalise about a cadre of people, especially when you are trying to argue against the consensus opinion

I would expect good friends to send a card unless they had something major going on in their life that meant they were very distracted.