To be annoyed about DD Secret Santa?

[Grealish]

DD is 10 almost 11 and in 5th class. They do secret Santa every year, and they pulled the names last week. The budget is €5-10 and they don’t do cards or presents for teacher etc as teacher is included.

On Monday I got a text from one of the other mams saying that her DS got my DDs name for secret Santa, simply saying they won’t be buying a gift as they don’t believe in this kind of thing. I wasn’t too bothered at first, as it seemed like an easy fix- whoever had her DS could just swap and have my DD instead.

I was speaking to her teacher yesterday about a separate thing and just mentioned the secret Santa issue, she said it’d be too late to start all over again because some people have already bought gifts - but that it should be easy to just swap the two around. But today I got a message from the mam (she was lovely about it) who had the other child and said they’d already bought him a present. She told me what it was and said DD was welcome to it, but it is quite specific to the boy and I know she wouldn’t enjoy it.

I’m not really one to make a fuss about things like this, and part of me just wants to ignore it, she’ll get loads of lovely presents over the Christmas, a €5 gift won’t make or break her Christmas. On the other hand I hate to think of everyone being excited opening their presents and her not having anything to open/opening a gift meant for someone else.

Would it be too much to secretly buy her a gift and give it to the teacher to give out as part of the secret Santa?

So more pressure and expense for parents to prove how trendy they are . Get the kids to make a nice card in class and write some thoughtful words of encouragement in it .

Yes buy the gift (although.who organised this ?!?!? sounds like a load of hassle and there will be disappointed kids and people spending more than 10 euro and less than 5 euro...not worth the effort) but anyway the boy not involved should have said so at the start, no one believes in secret santa ...what on earth ? (and I'll bet he keeps the gift)

As a teacher, I think SS is a bloody ridiculous thing to do in any school. It’s extra admin for the teacher to chase people up; several kids will forget to bring their gift in; it gives parents an extra stress and expense; £5 or £10 might be nothing to some people but some families will really struggle to find extra money at Christmas for a random child. On top of which, children cannot keep a secret and it inevitably ends up with them telling each other who they bought for and/or a less popular child getting a crappy present from someone. On every level, it’s a terrible idea and schools should ban it.

Remembering this thread and the evil that is Secret Santa in school as my child (male, secondary, budget £5 = giant chocolate bar AND Christmas chocs) just came home with some pink princess stickers and some dubious (possibly used) girl’s pink make up. Left wondering, is the family unable to afford an appropriate gift? Did they get confused about who it was for? Did they forget and just reach for anything? Did they not really want to take part so thought meh? Or is this purposely spiteful to humiliate a young boy? So many possibilities. Only one firm conclusion. Stop this nonsense now!

My kid's school does this when in 5th/6th class 5 euro limit . Never an issue except when some parents don't stick to it and you get an incident like today where my daughter received a Lego set worth about 50 euro from her ss when others got a selection box from theirs . Which obviously led to all sorts of problems and questions today , I've a feeling it might be scrapped next year

@LuckysDadsHat "Has she told the person who pulled the sons name out? I bet she's a CF and her son will take a gift still though" Or she is something like, for example, a Witness, so doesn't celebrate Christmas. But hey, let's leapt to the most mean spirited explanation possible. It is Christmas, after all.

@Grealish buying a present is a perfect solution. To be honest, I would have expected the teacher to suggest it. But it's a busy time of the year in schools!

My daughter missed out on girl guides Secret santander last week as she was absent the week before when they arranged it so feeling bad I bought her some craft stuff she wanted in aldi on the way home. Yes definitely buy your daughter a present so she's not left out

Secret santander

love this

Just to update as they’re doing it today!

I dropped a present into the school yesterday- stuck to the budget but bought her some bits and pieces she’d really like & asked the teacher not to mention I’d brought it in.

Hopefully now all the kids will get a present today and will all be delighted. I know a lot of people said to take the present meant for the boy who’s not bringing in a present and regift or donate but in my eyes he is just a kid he should get a present just like everyone else. They do celebrate Christmas, so I think he should get a present even if his mam has decided they don’t believe in secret Santa.

So you ended up paying for two pressies

Bless you

Very strange this year the parent said no if has done before

Would make more sense that anyone who wants to do it buys a unisex present

And all in the bag and pick one

Thankfully this wasn't a thing when I was at school. I didn't even have sanitary products half the time and there's no way I'd have had money for secret santa. I hope your DS wasn't too hurt by it. I would have had to give a rubbish present and probably would have pretended it was because I didn't care if anyone found out.

That’s a kind thing to do and probably what I would have done but I wonder what the boy will do? My mum would have told me not to take a gift and would have been cross if I arrived home with something. The misery of a secret Santa would have carried on for weeks with me. Damned by everyone each and every way.
@Superworm24 I do sympathise with your childhood circumstances. There was one girl in my boy’s class who had been taunting him for weeks. I’m now wondering if his used makeup/little princess pink present was from her. Fortunately he’s not too bothered and his dad who was calling me a misery for my previous eye rolling when SS was announced, is now thoroughly in agreement with me that these things have no place in schools.