To refuse to host BIL, his family and untrained dog!

[twogreentrees]

So we have always hosted Christmas. Literally for the past 17 years. It's mainly as a result of the fact that for a long time BIL and his family lived in a very small house whereas we have a larger house with room to seat everyone. PIL also find it easier to get to us (about an hour) than to BIL (about 2 hours). BIL and his family generally stay overnight so they are with us for two days. PIL tend to stay for the day and then go home since they prefer to sleep at home.

This year BIL and his family "rescued" a street dog from Eastern Europe. He is a large mixed breed and is completely out of control. He has to be kept on a lead at all times when out because he has a very high prey drive and zero recall. He regularly kills pigeons, squirrels, mice, rabbits etc. He is extremely reactive and charges at cats and other dogs. He is also very noisy.

We have a small dog, two kittens and free range ducks. Our garden is also not particularly secure for such a large dog (it's fine for ours but he's small). DH and BIL are both in a strop because I have said we are not hosting them this year unless they put the dog into a kennel. BIL has said it is offensive and the dog is a member of their family. Apparently I am ruining Christmas for their children (teens so probably couldn't care less anyway about visiting their aunt/uncle). I am gob smacked that we have even been asked.

I don't even know why Im asking. Just for reassurance really. I'm absolutely not BU am I? I'd really rather not have a festive small pet massacre on my hands.

The way BIL and SIL are behaving I’d refuse to invite either one of them, with or without the dangerous dog. Stand your ground. Why do you have such a doormat of a husband?

Yeah but the ‘hard of reading’ won’t read this either 🤣

Yes I know but the more posts I read the more it was winding me up.

I have to regularly switch off from Mumsnet and Reddit because People. They’re everywhere. They just breed and then there’s more of them.

I daren't go on Reddit I'd probably implode.

Husband is not a doormat. He just wanted to try and find a solution to suit everyone if possible but it’s sorted.

Statistically, in heterosexual couples, the woman cooks more than twice as much as the man does (though as the average age of the couples increase, so does the ratio of women to men cooking, ergo, currently far less men in their 50's and 60's cook, than do men in their 20's and 30's), so whilst you may think that is depressing, it is in fact true, and therefore, a reasonable assumption to make...

Wing and a prayer, you might all survive lunch,😊 but then it's home time for terror dog, with the whole family or just BiL.

Tell them you are having a small family Christmas just your own family. If you have always hosted why not let them sort their own Christmas out & you can do your own less stress. Just a thought.

They are being absolutely and completely unreasonable! Your dogs and your kittens are members of your family and therefore need to feel safe in their own home! Why do your in-laws feel It’s okay for their dog to come in to your home and destroy THEIR safe space? This is the question I would be asking them. They need to find kennels or they need to host or they need to leave the dog at home and ask someone to pop in to feed it and let it out and then go home the same day.

I absolutely agree with this! I have two dogs of my own but still wouldn’t let any other dogs into my home and I wouldn’t expect other people to allow my dogs into their home. It’s completely the choice of the homeowner and no one should be dictating to anyone who is and is not not allowed into their home. Well said@BreadInCaptivity !

Since when are true facts never depressing ? What a ridiculous comment.

Other people's dogs are a real issue. Last year we hosted a couple with a dog on the understanding that in our house, dogs sleep downstairs. This wasn't kept to and their dog peed on our bedroom floor! It didn't end well. Stick to your guns!

I love you! @twogreentrees ! Your calm. Your sense of humor! You will, I hope, have a wonderful holiday!

Have you never seen the National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation film????

Fuck B/SIL!
You’re his wife with his kids and pets. Suggest he goes to theirs if it’s a problem for him to accept that the big dog cannot come

So, you've to go to all this bother just because hubby doesn't want to fall out with his brother? Yeah, that WOULD be fucking right! And what are they going to do with HIS dog? Let it run loose, killing your wee ducks and other small animals? No, you are in the right here. Tell both your dickhead BIL and your arsehole husband to do one. In fact it might be a good idea to have a word with your MiL. I'd hope SHE would see what's sensible and tell her sons what she thinks of them. Other than that you only have one option -Tell the BiL you're rescinding invite to whole family if he insists on this mental dug coming with them. PLEASE let us know how you got on.

Any update @twogreentrees ? Hope you had / are having a lovely Christmas!

I hope we get an update.

My private bet with myself was the CFs turning up with the dog hoping to brazen it out.

@twogreentrees

OP - please update us!!!