AIBU for not wanting to pay rent?

[freebirdblue]

I currently live with my older sister and her family and contribute £100 weekly toward rent and bills. I pay for takeaways, contribute toward their date nights, and ubers (apparently they can’t work the app). I relocated and she offered me her spare bedroom for a year so I can save and have more money to put towards a nice one bedroom apartment. On top of that, I also take care of my nephews and walk the dogs daily.

However, my BIL’s parents asked me to house and dog sit while they’re away travelling for two months. I’m a 10 minute drive away but already my expenses have gone up as I’m now doing a food shop (yes, I was spoilt that they included me in their evening dinners) and I have to bring the dogs to the vet (out of my own pocket to later be reimbursed when they return, which is another awkward issue).

However, my sister still wants me to still contribute while I’m not there, she insisted not the full £100 but wasn’t overly pleased when I suggested £50 either. The thing is, I don’t think it’s fair I have to contribute because if I wasn’t in the spare bedroom, no one else would be, and one of her friends is coming and going to stay while I’m away (recently single). I’m not calling to their house for dinner either, but I am still helping out with my nephews and working from home (which I hate doing as I only have my laptop and no other monitors) on certain days for them.

My mum is trying to reason I’d still pay a landlord if I was on holiday, but I’m house sitting for my BIL’s family as a favor (for free) and it’s not exactly a holiday either! However, my friends are arguing it is unreasonable and strange of my sister to expect me to pay. Is it? I’m so conflicted and don’t want to seem ungrateful but I also have to admit I am annoyed.

I made the mistake of telling her my salary and now she holds that against me and tells almost everyone we know I earn more than her and her partner combined. For starters, she works part time and he is an apprentice, they have a mortgage and kids, whereas I’m single and free of responsibility’s in my twenties. My salary isn’t overly great for my position and includes 10% of my pension so it seems like I’m earning more than I am.

AIBU? I feel £50 is more than fair but also feel like I shouldn’t have to contribute either while I’m not there.

And when they do, if they’ve any sense they draw up a proper renters’ agreement, which protects both parties. My point is that OP is not a renter- there is no agreement in place and the arrangement was for her to cover her costs when she moved in. If she’s not there, there are no costs. Storing her things there costs nothing, and if her Dsis decides to rent out the room instead of letting her move back in then so be it. OP has options and it would be cheaper for her to rent a room elsewhere with proper legal protections and rights as a tenant. Dsis and her DH put OP in this position in the first place by volunteering her - so late in the day that she didn’t feel able to say no. I’m of the opinion that she should grow a backbone, speak up, and stop them from massively taking advantage of her. But that doesn’t excuse the appalling way they’ve treated her.

OP please get out asap.

They are really taking the pi##.

You are not a wallet for them.

OP said 'I can find a decent one bed nearby for £500 per week/or a bedroom for £300 both inc bills so moving out is the right choice.'

Anyone with common sense could see the £500 pw was a typo/error.for £500 pm.

That’s rude - and unnecessary. How does it advance the thread to say that?

There certainly are cities where rooms/flats incl bills can be that much. And Holly wasn’t the only poster on the thread who took the OP’s mistake in this post at face value.

Why would anyone think that OP thinks she would be financially even when moving out of somewhere costing £400pm to somewhere costing £2000pm?

Sorry, but it iS common sense.

Then why not roll your eyes and leave it, rather than being nasty to a PP? What does it achieve, putting someone down like that?

Have a good day.

You seem to have an axe to grind, Sheila, all.over a comment about common sense.

Here are those 🙄eyes you talked about. Have a good day.

I'd rent my own place as this is complicated.

It has nothing to do with common sense. The UK is a big place. There are 1-bed apartments in my area that are £1800 a month. You wouldn't get anything decent for £500/£300. And I don't even live in London. Just a standard busy city. Hence why more than just me didn't think her numbers sounded unusual. 🙄

I assumed she was talking about the equivalent of what she has at her sisters’ home - ie, a room in a private house with. Live in landlord. Essentially a lodger. That kind of accommodation goes for around £300-£350 a month here, depending on the amenities. That’s why I thought they were pushing it by proposing to raise the rent to £150 a week on her return.

I don’t think that poster has an axe to grind beyond why you would post a rude and argumentative comment two days after the poster had clarified her mistake. It was clear what had happened, there was no need for further comment and the discussion had moved on. You posted with no other motive than insulting that posters’ intelligence, when it was a simple misunderstanding based in OP’s incorrect figures.