Is it reasonable to ask a woman to change her profile picture?

[NewmanintownRob]

I have someone I am seeing and she has a picture of her and her deceased husband as her main profile picture on Facebook. I keep in touch with a lot of family and friends through Facebook, but I’m not obsessed by it. However, she has been a widow for four years and I am fully supportive of her sons and family and her deceased husband’s family. However, trying to friend her on Facebook and get her starting to learn more about my family is challenging. if she just simply had a picture of herself, it would be easier - her family and friends know about me and her, most of my family and friends know about me and her. I have a picture of her in my apartment and on my phone - she has no pictures of me in-home or on her phone. I’m trying to advance this to the next level and I’m starting to get worried that she isn’t wanting that. I am giving a time but it does make me a little uncomfortable. AIBU ?

I fully agree with all of this post.

Beat up me all you want - but some widows might be better off, simply should never date or settle and being content in their life. Ghosts always win - just like in this article.

Being picky here but your 'grammar' is all over the place, you don't know what a mistress is, or the difference between a widow and a widower.

Someone else asked- are you living in the US or the UK?

You said you've been in the military. Did you live a very institutional type of life?
Why did your marriage break up?

I think she will be happy if you end this because it's clearly not working for you and that would become obvious to her very soon.

Copy and pasting a feature you've found is a cop-out to really engaging with points made here and questions asked of you.

And if you'd bothered to even read that link it's about MEN (widowers) not women.

You've got your own baggage- not as a widower but as a divorced father so how does that sit with your dates? You aren't some man who's almost 60 who has no past.

Kyle - have we fallen for a chat GTP experiment?

WIDOW FFS GIVE IT A REST.

@NewmanintownRob what time is my day tomorrow? Is it blue?

I have no idea why I am addressing the OP direct - experience shows that he's incapable of responding.

But here we go anyway. @NewmanintownRob you are aware that your weirdness is not cute, or quirky, right?

It's not "bless him" odd. It's "uncomfortable" odd.

Your lack of emotional intelligence in both managing the situation with the widow* and in defending your rationale and reasoning in this thread is evident - fucking woeful. You can't argue. You can't write. You can't read. You can't reason.

So what's the point in reasoning with you? Answered my own question. There is none. The best thing about this thread has been "meeting" the wonderful, strong women who have manifested to call you out as a puffed up knob head.

It would have to be an experiment, as Chat GTP is far better at responses.

There ARE some lovely people here! It’s been a strange sort of joy.

I signed an email at work today ‘yours, Bitter Old Bat’ and my colleague was right back to me asking who called me that and being envious of my new moniker. She said she was trying to float ‘crone’ for herself a while back but it didn’t stick. We’ve agreed to have another go.

True. Kind of disappointed if I’m honest with you.

@NewmanintownRob

Any person has a right to have the dating relationship they choose to have. If someone (male or female) wishes to memorialize their late spouse 'in perpetuity' that doesn't mean they shouldn't date. It just means they need to date a person who understands that and accepts it.

That person is apparently not you. You seem to have the need to be the 'one and only' and that's never going to work with a person who had a happy marriage to a spouse that is still and always will be dear to their heart. Since you are a divorcé and had a marriage that either was unhappy or ended unhappily, I don't think you get this. Not to say that other divorced people can't understand the feelings of a widow(er), but you obviously can't.

I think you'd be doing both of you a favour if you just called it quits.

OP, every widow and widower I know have pictures and momentoes of their late spouses in their homes. They also post about them on social media and memorialize important dates like their anniversary/birthday/date they died. Their current partners participate in this with them and encourage them to remember the good times with their late spouses.

If you don’t have the ability to do this, then you shouldn’t be pursuing a relationship with a widow. It doesn’t mean they aren’t ready to move on or you are the other man to their dead spouse. It is a part of who they are. You either accept it and support them or you don’t.

Not going to waste any time creating a new post to say what I said last time