Is it reasonable to ask a woman to change her profile picture?

[NewmanintownRob]

I have someone I am seeing and she has a picture of her and her deceased husband as her main profile picture on Facebook. I keep in touch with a lot of family and friends through Facebook, but I’m not obsessed by it. However, she has been a widow for four years and I am fully supportive of her sons and family and her deceased husband’s family. However, trying to friend her on Facebook and get her starting to learn more about my family is challenging. if she just simply had a picture of herself, it would be easier - her family and friends know about me and her, most of my family and friends know about me and her. I have a picture of her in my apartment and on my phone - she has no pictures of me in-home or on her phone. I’m trying to advance this to the next level and I’m starting to get worried that she isn’t wanting that. I am giving a time but it does make me a little uncomfortable. AIBU ?

I have an ancient spinet.

I keep it as a test for suitors.

Those who are unable to play it are ignominiously rejected.

That's 8,367,844,096 @TheShellBeach - and enough mentions to send DodgyRob off to the downstairs lav to sort his emissions again...

@NewmanintownRob

"Also the photos all over her bedroom, living room, memorial bench, etc. A man gets the feeling he is a maybe suitable replacement, maybe just intimate partner, perhaps living in another mans house and with his toys and wife - not in something that is welcoming to a new man’s family and friends and is not something true love feels like"

So in the event this relationship should progress to something 'serious' would you expect her to take down those photos, dismantle her memorial bench, get rid of his 'toys' etc? In other words, erase every trace of his existence? Of her memories of him? Because IMHO 'true love' would allow for memories of a deceased spouse.

Spinet

Yes yabu! Hth.

Yes, I really do 😁

Lifestyle vintage Goths for our sins.

I also have a coffin containing a black spray painted skeleton holding a violin with a perspex lid. We've used it as a bar and a coffee table in happier times.

The suit of armour he wore for our handfasting is sadly rusting in a suitcase, but when I win the lottery and buy a new Gothic Mansion, I'll have it restored and on display. And the sword collection will go up as well.

Because IMHO 'true love' would allow for memories of a deceased spouse

I think you mean an unalive spouse.
🤣

My husband is currently sitting on the sofa next to a photo of me with my late husband. He's not in the slightest bit insecure.

That sounds wonderful 🥰

I would like an evening of singing while drinking from @MistressoftheDarkSide’s coffin bar accompanied on @TheShellBeach’s spinet. Sounds like the best Christmas party ever.

Oh yes, a merry widows gathering indeed. ...

And I can even offer a ouija board ......

This just gets better and better. May we contact Mr Unalive to establish how furious he is that his wife is entertaining such a cockwomble?

I'd love to know his views on this wanker.

I think that would be an excellent idea.

Psychic pistols at dawn might well be the result because I'm sure Mr Unalive would be spinning in his grave / urn.....

Oops, of course! I don't want to risk a ban by using a 'D word'.

'Unalive' sounds like something from Handmaid's Tale.

'Unalive' sounds like something from Handmaid's Tale

Or a paragraph in a leaflet on erectile dysfunction.

To me,"unalive" kind of invokes a third option - not alive, not dead - kind of zombie territory? It's just so.... clunky?

I was thinking about the undead, zombies.

This gets better and better - you are inspiring me to write a song or some sort of Halloween movie now !! I would never want anyone to erase their past or to erase any memory of the unalive husband - yet there is a point where it takes it too far. And that would be a dealbreaker for me - I have been someone’s mistress once before and it is a weird feeling that I don’t want to experience again even though he is unalive.

I have been someone’s mistress once before

How?
You're a man.

Eh

And that's the second time you've said that.

Something doesn't add up here at all.

When you date a woman and make love to her every day of the work week and she says she has to work on the weekends and do stuff - and then after six weeks, she tells you she’s married - and I was only seeing her - I have no term but mistress. She knew, but I did not. Maybe some of the commenters here don’t get out much.

She was the mistress and you were the OM.

God now I'm getting confused 😕