To save everything nice " for best"

[Mylovelylittlepetbedbug]

Just to add ,I do the basics and don't think I'm scruffy in public . I can make an effort if I go out. Even before I retired and had more money ,I find I'm saving everything nice for ...I don't know what for really.
It doesn't even save anything. I noticed a mascara I have hardly used has dried up and smells off.
I save clothes for best and wear scruffy ones which is a bit depressing.
I bought new joggers/ leggings/ sweatshirts but can't seem to wear them
My perfume is evaporating in its bottle .
But it's not just not wanting things to wear out or run out. I sort of can't be bothered to do things for me. For example I would wrap a grandchild up warmly to go for a walk and wouldn't bother for myself . I'd wear the first coat I'd picked up even if it wasn't warm. Seeing someone else do the most basic thing e.g putting on handcream after washing their hands makes me think that I should do that ,but I can't. I don't feel depressed but am making myself uncomfortable in many small ways. I know I need to stop this .

🫂 I get this but strongly advise to fight against it. I have caught myself doing it many times and it’s a form of self punishment in a way, a self esteem issue, not feeling worthy of things. Remind yourself life is short and you deserve nice things. Try wearing a special outfit to go shopping, have a cup of coffee out somewhere, notice how good it feels. Start small and work up, but make the effort to use the nice things and you will start to feel good about it x

You are worth the nice things!!
I don’t save anything ‘for best’. You never know when your time will come and it will be too late to use it.

I was like this and ended up with drawers full of expensive crusty make-up that I'd had for years. So I just decided to change my philosophy and use stuff and not save it. If I use it all, I can buy more, and nice stuff deserves to be used. Use the things! Once you start, it becomes easier.

My mum kept everything for best. She’s got dementia now and won’t ever use it. Doesn’t even know it exists.

Use it and have the memories rather than the hope for the future. Just look after yourself. You’re worth it.

Life is too short! Wear your perfume and nice clothes every day - leggings are hardly something you'd dress up in anyway. Just wear them and feel happy in your choices. It is a childhood thing lots of people had - saving things for best, my family had a similar mentality - but you only live once. Put nice things on, drink coffee out of your best mug, spritz that perfume. You can do it!

And I think you definitely need to investigate why you're so uninterested in taking care of yourself. Self-care is so important. You say you aren't depressed but you sound very flat. What gives you joy?

I was always brought up to save my nicest clothes for best and it's been a life long habit I've been trying to break recently.
I really agree with @Missingpate about low self esteem and the feeling of not being worthy of nice things and self care.
Plus the habits of a rather Spartan upbringing are hard to shake off in my case

Wear the perfume, even if you’re the only one who smells it! Wear the nice clothes! You are worth it!

Please don't do this! When my MIL died, I found drawers full of nice things that we had given her that she had "saved for best". They were unused. I just wish she could have enjoyed all of them.

When my Gran died my Mum found lots of new things in chest which she had saved for 'best. Mum and her sisters took the stuff to the charity shop - so sad that she had never had the pleasure of wearing them.

Life is too short to save stuff and never use it.

If you don't use what you buy, then you can stop buying things. But if you bought them, then it's best to use them, surely.
When I first started working from home, I would wear ratty clothes. It's chilly in the house and I would have layers of old t-shirts with my partner's decommissioned fleece on top. I felt awful!
I am getting ready to start work now wearing a nice cashmere jumper my mum gifted me a few months ago and a new comfy pair of slacks. I feel better about my day already.

I stopped doing this at 50 ( 59 now ) ……every day is an occasion……and tomorrow is not guaranteed

I do this too - and I'm fighting hard against it as well. I'm sitting here in a nice knit dress I only usually get out at Christmas - and it has a moth hole. Use it or lose it!

I have been like this and l have fought against it . Life really is too short l know it's an old saying but it really is . I have changed my outlook since visiting my Mum in her residential home and seeing all the poor residents, some very wealthy,so there is no excuse ,looking like they have been dragged through a hedge backwards . I make sure my Mum is immaculate because it is a important for our self esteem everyone matters . Also I take enjoyment out of the smallest things, like these Grape Hyacinths starting to sprout l found them in the garden yesterday evening they will be putting in their best 'clothes' soon ❤️. You matter, so put on that beautiful perfume and while you are at it get those lovely new clothes out and put them on . Wishing you the very best .

Ah thank you for lovely replies. Will read later as repair man is here and I don't want him to get away !

I don't buy nice stuff but I don't use the nice stuff I already have. I'm not anything special so I don't think I should go around with nice things. I have sore and cracked hands from washing up and I have hand cream but I don't put the hand cream on because it would be implying I think I'm really something.

I have good coat I have never worn because I don't go anywhere I could wear it.

I have make up but when I put it on people comment and not in a nice way.

I have too high an opinion of myself and using nice things just feeds into that. I have nice sheets but my mum says that's a waste and I should have some that she could give me instead.

What is the point of having nice things that you never use?

My parents died recently and clearing out their stuff was fairy infuriating. My mum had so many clothes with tags still on. All gifts that she’d never worn. She’d happily wear jumpers with holes in. Also, I came across drawers full of luxury creams that she purported to love (and I’d bought her) but had never used. And beautiful dinner services and cutlery sets (from their wedding!) - never used, appreciated or enjoyed.

@Bestfornever you deserve to use nice things.

I'm quite cold emotionally but your post flickered a rare sadness on your behalf in me.
Please use your nice things, you deserve them. It doesn't matter what others think.
Mum can donate her sheets to the charity shop, someone will be grateful for them but you need your own nice things to enjoy.

Having a serious illness made me appreciate that every day is a special occasion and should be treated as such tomorrow is not guaranteed. What are you saving it for?

I can relate Op! I'm exactly the same. I started buying nice stuff from vinted thinking because it's cheap I'll wear it but the same thing happened. I think ' oh, thats nice, I'll save it for.........' i then end up in a loop.
It's a wonder if find clothes to go through the front door sometimes!
I do need to change my attitude though.
I have tried to trace my behaviour to see why i do this. I don't lack self esteem so I'm not sure what the issue is.

What is the point of having nice things that you never use?
It's the idea that's it's being 'saved' for (an unknown) special occasion at some point. It's illogical thinking but that's where I'm at!!!

You make it sound as though you are chasing him round the house OP!

Like @WalterdelaMare I remember as a teenager having to help clear out my 80 year old great aunt's house after she passed. Her wardrobe, chest of drawers, dressing table etc were full of gifts she'd been saving 'for best'. I found it incredibly sad and it's always stuck with me. As an adult I take pleasure in the everyday wearing and using of nice things.

You are probably right. Spent whole life in caring roles both personally and professionally. I think my sense of self got lost. I love nature ,art ,reading but apart from a few voluntary things ,I realise I spend most of my time doing domestic stuff ,for my self or others. Thank you