To save everything nice " for best"

[Mylovelylittlepetbedbug]

Just to add ,I do the basics and don't think I'm scruffy in public . I can make an effort if I go out. Even before I retired and had more money ,I find I'm saving everything nice for ...I don't know what for really.
It doesn't even save anything. I noticed a mascara I have hardly used has dried up and smells off.
I save clothes for best and wear scruffy ones which is a bit depressing.
I bought new joggers/ leggings/ sweatshirts but can't seem to wear them
My perfume is evaporating in its bottle .
But it's not just not wanting things to wear out or run out. I sort of can't be bothered to do things for me. For example I would wrap a grandchild up warmly to go for a walk and wouldn't bother for myself . I'd wear the first coat I'd picked up even if it wasn't warm. Seeing someone else do the most basic thing e.g putting on handcream after washing their hands makes me think that I should do that ,but I can't. I don't feel depressed but am making myself uncomfortable in many small ways. I know I need to stop this .

When I emptied my parents house I found so many things saved for best. It was heartbreaking.

Silver cutlery while they used tatty old knives and forks.

Top quality and amazingly thick pure cotton sheets while they used thin cheap sheets, often "turned sides to middle" to get more wear out of them.

Pretty tea towels, while they used ancient ragged ones.

A lovely pair of photo albums while the photos were kept in empty shoeboxes and biscuit tins.

A beautiful tea set while they used a mishmash of chipped cups and plates.

And so on.

I now use as much of it as possible. We use silver cutlery every day and sleep on blissfully luxurious sheets.

Great update OP, your outfit sounds lovely. I hope you have a little spring in your step today and catch of glimpse of yourself looking fab in a shop window!

Would just like to give a last update to everyone who commented on this thread . Thanks for the insight and advice. And i hope that all those who struggle with feeling " worth it" will feel that they are.
Today i had to move some furniture and boxes to get ready for some work on the house. Obviously dressed in old clothes and I got very hot and dusty. Couldn't wait to have a shower and wash my hair. I put on a long grey cotton cardigan ,white tee shirt and black trousers. Black loafers . A bit of make up.( the new make up) As I sat down to have a cup of coffee ( in THE MUG) I realised how relaxed and comfortable i felt . I also realised that the scruffy old clothes were what I previouly wore on a daily basis. No wonder I felt ( which I now know ) so low. No wonder i didnt feel like going anywhere because i couldnt be bothered to change. All.i need to do now is put on a coat and scarf which i was saving and pick up a Bag for living ! Good luck everyone .

@Mylovelylittlepetbedbug ❤

I put a little make up on and perfume today to WAH. I also ran the straighteners through my hair - unheard of when WAH. We are going to move to cameras always on for meetings when WAH, this will force me to look half decent. I fill so much better in myself for making an effort today

Good for you . Glad you are feeling so positive.

Lovely updates 💜

Hum

Perhaps I should throw out the old shirts that are so thin ( some holes ) and shapeless and faded that I wear every week - I do have nice clothes and can afford to buy more if needed ...

It makes me feel so guilty though ( acting spoiled ?)

Time to buy some new hole/less socks and pull them up because you are right - it's daft

I LOVE this thread. It’s so inspiring! I am going to have a good sort out of stuff. I have a lovely cake slice and cake plate which are in boxes and therefore kept lovely. But I don’t use them. There are other things besides and whilst I do use some bits, lots of things I don’t. So over the next few weeks I shall get myself organised.

This morning was a bit of a daft realisation of not wanting to feel yuck so I washed my hair this morning. I was going to tie it back and go to work and make do with it not looking great (it wasn’t awful, just wasn’t great) and then wondered why I would do that to myself. I would have felt really manky by the end of the day. So I washed it and it looked much better and I felt much better. Hair straightening will be the next step… (but only if I have time)

I need to do this too!! There’s nothing really wrong with some of my things other than they are faded and have gone shapeless. Feels wasteful to get rid of them. I can sew so I can fix stuff but they’re cheap and not particularly nice so not worth the time and effort.

I can’t give them to charity because they aren’t nice enough but I continue to wear them despite looking iffy!

I stockpiled some perfumes. You just reminded me to use them.

Please wear your perfumes !
I wear it every single day without fail so do quite a few of my lovely colleagues, we all enjoy each others perfumes ,compliment each other and chat about it and other nice things we buy or wear, we're all quite ordinary we just like the odd nice thing, especially a scented candle.
Life is for living and enjoying , i want to use and enjoy any gifts i receive or anything i treat myself too .
How sad and miserable to end up with a pile of stuff that's never been used or enjoyed.

It's a very common issue, and harks back to the old days where "Aunt Edna" used to keep her posh crockery in a cupboard and had a front room "parlour" that was kept pristine that no one could ever go into.

I think you need to really fight it and use your stuff, treat yourself, and not feel "guilty". You can't take it with you, and if you don't use stuff it will either go out of date, fade, disintegrate or get damaged/destroyed in some way.

Use it and enjoy it. Tomorrow may never come!

I loved this Ted Talk. “You are the occasion”. (It’s not very long).

After the first lock down, just one morning, I started to dress up properly. I chose my clothes carefully including my earrings and necklace and perfume. Even if I wasn’t about to go anywhere or meet anyone. I just wanted to get use out of all my lovely jewellery and clothes. I also felt much better when dressed properly for the day.

I have a pretty china coffee cup & cake plate set my late DF bought for me when I was a young adult. About a year ago I started to use the cake plates as regular side plates. This set is highly collectible in my home country but I’d rather have them in use and in a way have my DF with us in our daily life. The coffee cups are way too small for a regular use though!

This!

Please keep posting @Mylovelylittlepetbedbug this all resonates with me too much!

Last summer I took all my barely used posh skincare and creams on holiday, instead of aftersun. Used them all up and took time to pamper and it felt really luxurious, but I haven’t treated myself like that since.

So I’ve just lit an expensive candle that I was given about 8 years ago. It’s been looking pretty on the bathroom shelf all that time but is now next to me in the living room filling the room with neroli.

Thanks OP. Sometimes thread like this give us the kick we need.

Yup, same in my family; the silver plate cutlery set from Garrards. Rarely used and when it was I remember the beautifully shaped forks and deep spoons.
The box had got damaged in a flood so wasn't worth keeping but some cutlery was still wrapped in its original tissue paper! They married in 1961.
When we cleared our father's house I took it home (my sister had our grandparents set also hardly used!) and I use it every day.
Beautiful soup spoons, mini ladles, micro teaspoons along with regular teaspoons. The forks with lively long slender prongs.

I also put it in the dishwasher (😱) and every 6 months spend an hour or two using silver polish polishing it back to its shiny self.
I also have an array of strange looking mini serving forks , all different prong types.
Apparently some are for anchovies or pickles or olives. No idea but I use all of them but I never remember seeing them used as a child

@fc123 DS won't have room for a dishwasher which is one of the reasons I was giving him the cutlery rather than using it myself!
I've already had the silver polish out. How often DS polished the cutlery remains to be seen!

I also saved boxed sets of fish knives and forks and butter knives also rarely used.

It's a very common issue, and harks back to the old days where "Aunt Edna" used to keep her posh crockery in a cupboard and had a front room "parlour" that was kept pristine that no one could ever go into.

Exactly, then I'm buying it for a pound. Yesterday one of the four year olds in my class dropped a Royal Albert serving dish of cabbage he'd cut up with scissors. Boof, gone.

I have new clothes , still with tags on including 2 pairs of trousers yet I am still regularly wearing a tatty old pair of trousers that I've owned for 10 years that came from a charity shops rummage box which basically is their last chance clothing before they get rid , cost me 50p or £1 .
They are worn and I've even got areas at the top of the legs that have almost worn through and I've darned them . I cannot let them go . No idea why , they are nothing special , think they've got a Matalan label on , it's ridiculous I'm still wearing them .