Daughter getting fat in school

[joey197860]

Teenage daughter has gained 22kg in new boarding school. No medical explanation for it and she's very happy, wrll integrated and academically excelling. School has a shop on site and girls have access to kitchen in the evenings. Daughter had major surgery last year and specifically should not eat sugar loaded food. What am I to do? I want to pull her from the school at the end of this term. The school is absolutely no help when I discussed this with them.

What is the time frame for the weight gain? And how old is your child? 3.5stone weight gain is quite a lot

Pulling her from the school is no good. She needs to learn some self-control.

You send her away from home, and wonder why she comfort eats!

She is not happy, happy teens don't eat three and a half stone on.

I think you need to find out the cause. Is it comfort eating because she's unhappy? Is it because she doesn't like the meals so supplements with unhealthy snacks and treats so she doesn't go hungry? Etc.

She's happy and well settled. Your solution to her weight gain is to say "you're fat so I'm punishing you by taking you away from the place where you are happy".

Can you see why that may not be the best or most supportive thing that you as a parent could do?

is there a reason she is boarding? Why can't she live with you? If there is.no underlying medical cause, it sounds like comfort eating. Maybe she isn't happy there?

schools very quickly fret when the girls lose top much weight - I would hope they would pay attention here too

Was the surgery something that might affect her weight set point?

Are you sure she's happy? I only ask as I went to boarding school, on the outside I was happy and well integrated, however I was actually miserable and being bullied.

Has she had the pill injection?
Have her home if you want to supervise.

She has boarded since prep school. She's not happy about putting on the weight. There isn't any explanation except having free acces to rubbish. I think the kitchen should be closed at night.

Most weight gain is over the last 4 months.

It’s a new boarding school?

Did she move from another one? Why was there a move?

Or if it’s her first boarding school why was boarding school decided?

What time frame is this in? You say ‘new’ but surely she can’t have put that amount in since September? This really doesn’t add up.

What operation did she have which means she can’t eat sugary food? Or was the operation connected to a condition?

Good God, no! She's not that type of girl.

Judgemental much?

How old is she? If it is a situation where rubbish food is constantly available and a source of socialising, like a sort of summer camp arrangement, I could see that being really difficult.

Well that's one way of introducing disordered eating to more if the students 🤦‍♀️

If food needs to be locked up you have a serious medical condition. That isn't the method to solve this.

She did move from another one. She had a tumour removed. The weight gain is totally excessive and the only explanation is free access to rubbish edibles.

I think a lot of people get a bit porky at boarding school unless they're one of the sporty ones. I remember piling into the kitchen when it was cold and everyone wolfing down four slices of white toast with jam and peanut butter between classes. The canteen food was all delicious (especially to me coming from a comp).

They shouldn’t have to close kitchen as your daughter can’t stop eating. Surely she’ll have free access to a kitchen even if you took her home. This is a large amount of weight to put on in a short time though- could there be a medical reason?

How old is she and why is she boarding? Is she a healthy weight? Eg very skinny but put some weight on and now is healthy? Or is she obese? We need more info.

Why is she at boarding school? If I had had major surgery and got sent away I would be heartbroken.

I am at my wits' end. The school doctor said no medical reason. I'm tempted to bring her to our local GP.