Daughter getting fat in school

[joey197860]

Teenage daughter has gained 22kg in new boarding school. No medical explanation for it and she's very happy, wrll integrated and academically excelling. School has a shop on site and girls have access to kitchen in the evenings. Daughter had major surgery last year and specifically should not eat sugar loaded food. What am I to do? I want to pull her from the school at the end of this term. The school is absolutely no help when I discussed this with them.

It might not even be from the kitchen. Some kids do a roaring trade in snacks, sweets etc.
Also, not "that type of girl". Sickening comment. Incredibly judgey and you wouldn't believe how many kids are totally different to what their parents think they are.

Bring her home and feed her yourself then

Sorry, was typing my reply as you posted this. Speak to your nurse specialist at the oncology department and ask for an early follow up with your oncologist.

I gained loads of weight when I went to uni (I didn’t drink lots) it was the freedom of eating what I want when I want. I imagine it’s the same for your DD.

Have you spoken to the school about access to food? To rule out that factor.

I would get her seen by your GP too to check for any medical reasons. Seems sensible to cover all bases

She's not getting back at parents. She's well loved, hadd-working and very academic, ambitious etc

so she must have been home over the summer for the first 1 month of that? What was she eating at home? Lots or a normal amount?

Do you really think she is overeating and eating rubbish?

Or do you think it is a medical condition?

What does your instinct tell you?

Also - how much exercise does she get at school? Do you know? This varies depending on age.

Are her friends also putting on weight with access to this food too?

You need to take her to the GP

I don't think she is in Dubai. She says that blarding schools are like 7 star hotels in Dubai in regards to food.

Agreed.

i do also think having a tumour removed is frightening as a adult let alone as a child.
could she be emotionally eating?
If so it’s a pattern you want to break quickly

How often do you see her ?

Boarding from prep and "not that type of girl". Fuck.

OP that's a massive weight gain in such a short period, she needs to see a doctor. Whether it's related to the tumour or an eating disorder she needs help. It's beyond the "comfort eating while away from home" level of gain.

I really think you need to take her for a proper screening, putting on a stone in 3 months is easily doable. 22kg is a lot, I’d be really worried there is something wrong either physically or psychologically.

What kind of tumour? This really sounds like a medical issue.

What? There's lots of reasons teen girls might use contraceptives that don't involve them having sex. I was given the pill at 14 for horrendous heavy periods. Dianette can help with acne. It's a reasonable question to ask.

Has your daughter been to the GP and had bloods done, and are you sure there is no medical underlying reason, e.g. thyroid issues, PCOS, any issues with blood sugar control?

🤣

On a serious note, bring her home.
Look after her properly, give her stability and the warmth of a home.

Teenagers are notoriously problematic but they need their parents to parent them.

If she’s had major surgery and is struggling with food control she surely needs to be home with her family.

Can you write out with her a healthy eating plan and she can record what she has in a food diary?

That sort of weight gain says there is either something physically wrong or she's struggling with her mental health. If you can afford boarding school I would be paying for a referral to an endocrinologist immediately.

@joey197860 you seem convinced there is nothing psychological going on and that you may have one of those unicorn teenage daughters without any complexity or hidden emotions...

So if you're convinced there is nothing psychological going on, then I'm not sure you want to get from this thread?

It's either something wrong medically - see a doctor, or she's unhappy in some way - but you're going to need to shift your attitude if you're ever going to understand why.

You haven't clarified OP whether her weight now is obese.
The fact you're avoiding this question makes me wonder whether actually your daughter was underweight previously (perhaps due to the tumour?) and now that her health is better has rapidly gained weight as a result. Lots of girls fill out quite a bit in the mid teens and if she was previously underweight it may be she's gained quite a bit.

If she’s happy and settled in school then I would think forcing her to leave and start over in a new environment away from all of her friends is probably the very worst thing you could do and will make her feel like she’s being punished for gaining weight.

She is definitely not on any medication. I am keeping her home and taking her tothe GP in the morning and getting every blood test possible done.

There really isn’t any need for such a vicious reply.

Ascitis is very painful, she will know if it was that. I had it and only had 500ml of liquid (that would have been jusr half a kilo weight gain, maybe a bit more than that because if the inflammation it caused, but say one kilo) and could barely walk from the pain.