To break with hair stylist over politics?

[momtoboys]

Please try to be kind, because as silly as this sounds I am very upset about this situation.

I am currently in the US and I have been going to the same woman who does my hair for 25 years. Over the years we have become friends but do not really see each other socially (occasionally talk on the phone, text, cook a meal when someone sick). We seem to have made this unspoken agreement that we would not discuss politics both knowing we are on opposite ends of the spectrum in our beliefs. The US has recently had a presidential election and the person elected is a VERY polarizing character. This is the person my hairstylist supports.

I had my hair done last night and it appears that since the election results our silent pact not to discuss politics has expired. She really wanted to talk about how much better the country will be and how smart the president elect is. I asked her to stop and that I didn't think we should discuss it but she kept on and then I went at her both barrels. we played the "well, what about THIS" game for a while each trying to outwit the other to prove our point. We were able to pull ourselves out of a terrible spiral and the last 1/2 hour of the appointment was fine. I hugged her goodbye which I normally don't do and I realized that was because I think that may be the last time I see her. I don't think I can go back. I still enjoy her as a friend but her support for this megalomaniac makes me think less of her. If this is the end do I call her and tell her why or just cancel my next appointment and just move on?

YANBU. There are some political views that are a step too far for most of us, and this would be one for me too.

I'd just make an appointment elsewhere, she'll know why when you cancel.

Going to the hairdresser shouldn't be something tense or fraught.

Love the couple of lines where you explain the US has had a presidential election and your description of the person elected.

Do you think we live on Mars on MN. 😂😂😂

I accidentally hit YANBU when i meant YABU.

Good hairdressers are hard to find, and you pay for the cut, not to have their political belief match yours.

Feels like you'd be breaking with her over her behaviour (keeping on about politics when you'd asked her to stop) which is fine. But in your shoes I'd give her another chance.

The idea that politics is like a sports game, one side wins, one side loses, no real-world consequences, you shake hands and move on, is not right in my opinion.

Her decision has consequences, it's a deeply values-based, moral decision, and I certainly choose my friends according to their values and their morals. You have to talk to her, and be nice to her for quite some time while she's doing your hair. I couldn't! Find someone else. (I wouldn't bother telling her why, I don't see anything to be achieved.)

I also find it bizarre that you talk about Trump as if it’s a state secret that he won the election.

That aside, you can stop seeing someone personally or professionally for any reason you like. Everyone has their personal red lines.

YABU. Presidents come and go but a stylist you trust is for life.

I would find another hairdresser. One of the consequences is that you may lose your friendship with your current hairdresser. The other is that you not be able to find another hairdresser who is as good as your friend.
Could you negotiate with her that you don't discuss politics when you're together?

The US is split more or less 50/50 isn't it? You can't easily cut yourself off from 50% of the businesses and tradespeople you know. OTOH visiting the hairdresser is supposed to be enjoyable. Tricky.

I prefer not to support someone that supports a criminal lunatic aka Trump.

So you are going to add to the polarisation? The woman cuts your hair. Her political beliefs have no impact on that.

I can imagine you stomping around like a big baby if she announced she would no longer cut your hair just because you don't like Donald Trump.

I don't know why I was being so vague! Of course you all know of the situation in this upside down country. Thanks for the thoughts. Seems as though Mumsnet is split just like the US!

Her idol is the one about to erect trade barriers around the world. @momtoboys is really just adopting a similar anti-free-trade policy as the tangerine tyrant.

YABU. I wouldn't care about my hairdresser's political leanings. But in any case, you already knew she was a Trump supporter and still let her cut your hair. But now you want to ditch her because she's talkef about it?

No hairdresser can trump trump.

Yeah, so? Enough American people must want the same because they voted for him.

I haven't dropped any of my friends who voted Labour, despite the hash they are making of it. I do rib them mercilessly but just in fun and most are regretting voting for them now.

If she does your hair well, you need to see this through and tolerate your differences. It will be interesting to see how her views change over the next five years!

Seriously can nobody have an opinion these days without fear of losing a friend 🤷‍♀️

The US has recently had a presidential election and the person elected is a VERY polarizing character

I don't care what someone's political views are, as long as they don't keep banging on about it. If my hairdresser started doing this, I'd stop going there, as it's meant to be an enjoyable experience.

Here across the pond, hairdressers usually stick to “Any holidays planned?” or “Any plans for the weekend?” If you do make another appointment, just say “please can we have no talk about politics this time” before you sit down. Good luck 🤞

I wouldn't go back. It doesn't matter what her political view is. However, she knew that you had a difference in opinions when it came to politics, but still decided to cross that boundary and talk about it with you.

I stopped going to my hairdresser because she kept going on about covid conspiracies.

I go to the hairdresser to relax, not to be grilled or lectured.

😂😂

I think you are going to have a very uncomfortable few years if you can't get along with trump voters in the US. let's face it he won a trifecta so he's got a lot of support - ok you think he's wrong and that is absolutely your right but plenty of people around you clearly don't
..how many will you cut out of your life before you find yourself fairly lonely - particularly if campaign promises are met and peoples lives do improve.

But you knew she was a trump supporter previously. So why get agitated about it now?

If you don't want discuss something then close the conversation down by heading her off in a different direction entirely, getting into a tit for tat argument is never going to end well.

Trump will be gone in 4 years, if he isn't shot or dead from orange colour overdose beforehand. He will be history. But a good hairdresser is for life!