To break with hair stylist over politics?

[momtoboys]

Please try to be kind, because as silly as this sounds I am very upset about this situation.

I am currently in the US and I have been going to the same woman who does my hair for 25 years. Over the years we have become friends but do not really see each other socially (occasionally talk on the phone, text, cook a meal when someone sick). We seem to have made this unspoken agreement that we would not discuss politics both knowing we are on opposite ends of the spectrum in our beliefs. The US has recently had a presidential election and the person elected is a VERY polarizing character. This is the person my hairstylist supports.

I had my hair done last night and it appears that since the election results our silent pact not to discuss politics has expired. She really wanted to talk about how much better the country will be and how smart the president elect is. I asked her to stop and that I didn't think we should discuss it but she kept on and then I went at her both barrels. we played the "well, what about THIS" game for a while each trying to outwit the other to prove our point. We were able to pull ourselves out of a terrible spiral and the last 1/2 hour of the appointment was fine. I hugged her goodbye which I normally don't do and I realized that was because I think that may be the last time I see her. I don't think I can go back. I still enjoy her as a friend but her support for this megalomaniac makes me think less of her. If this is the end do I call her and tell her why or just cancel my next appointment and just move on?

I broke up with my dental hygienist when Trump was first elected. She was a right-wing fanatic and listened to dubious radio stations who called the CIA Catholics in Action.

You made it clear to her you didn't want to discuss politics. She didn't respect that. Why should you pay for something that is supposed to be an enjoyable experience and have to listen to someone ranting politics? Go to a different hairdresser who won't charge you to listen to him/her rant about politics. I couldn't care less what my hairdresser's politics are, thankfully I don't know because it's something she never discusses.

But are you really going to trawl round all your local hairdressers asking them to confirm their political stance?

And then surely you'd have to do that with all services, tradesmen, butchers, bakers and candlestick makers.

She’s your hairdresser not a friend. But only you can decide.

@momtoboys So people want democracy but as long as its only views they agree with and not true democracy ????

To me skill and friendship is more useful that what they think of x

If OP had said that her hairdresser is an evangelical Christian who won’t stop talking about her beliefs, the responses would have been VERY different. Who goes to the hairdresser to be harangued and made to feel uncomfortable? Who wants to go through that and then have to pay for the experience, especially when time at the hairdresser may be one of few opportunities for relaxation for some people? Some of you really need to engage your brains and stop being so reflexly tribal.

Not really, but she just has to find one who has the common sense to not talk politics with a customer unless the customer starts the conversation and then keep it vague enough to avoid offending.

I’ve no idea how my hairdresser voted. She’s no idea how I did either. This is how it should be.

I used to have an excellent hairdresser but she moved away. The new one absolutely butchered my hair. After that I decided that once I found a good one I'd cling on even if I ever moved house and it meant travelling.

Up to you what you want to do but my priority with hair stylists is how they do my hair, and it's not always easy finding a good one.

I'm not always in the mood to chat when having my hair done. Sometimes I enjoy it but often I use the time to read and switch off. When I feel like switching off, I politely tell my hairdresser it's been a busy week and no offence but I'm going to switch off and read.

It’s not about about having different beliefs, Dopey. It’s about not having the basic customer service skills to not make your customers uncomfortable by engaging in completely unnecessary conversations.

No, I firmly believe in democracy- you are entitled to your options, I am entitled to judge you negatively for them. Including not giving you money.

and the opinion id negatively judge this hairdresser for is thinking her desire to talk about politics was more important than her client not wanting to talk about politics.

The OP walked in knowing the hairdresser voted for Trump, the bigger problem was that the hairdresser refused to stop talking about it when asked.

I actually liked the way you worded your original post, it was considerate, and shows a bit about who you are as a person. I didn't vote as it is a decision about one's values, no one can tell you how you should live your values so long as they don't hurt anyone else. I wouldn't think criticality of you deciding to leave or stay with her.

YNBU. I'm American and this isn't like previous elections and candidates; I voted for Obama but still deeply respected McCain and wasn't at odds with any of his voters. We're well past political differences and looking at a divide amongst deeply held values and human rights. I'm now voting with my dollars and those dollars aren't going towards Trump supporters, even if it means a new hair stylist.

Sidenote. This is getting particularly difficult as many large corporations support the GOP (the corporate tax cuts being a big incentive), but trying to phase out as much usage as I can of those services, less I sound completely hypocritical.

This made me smile too 🤣

but then some times you need x services to do gods work even if it means shaking the hand of the devil so to speak

YANBU

"I asked her to stop and that I didn't think we should discuss it but she kept on and then I went at her both barrels."

This is the problem. You can be friends with, or pay for goods or services from, someone with different political views to your own. But you asked her NOT to talk about politics, and she kept going. That's unprofessional. She's cutting your hair, and she provided an additional service you neither requested nor wanted.

I am not a fan of ghosting, but in this instance I don't think you need to contact her to 'break up' or provide a reason - maybe just quietly see if you can find someone else, if that's what you decide what to do.

Fair point, but at least where I live in the US, finding a hair stylist who doesn't support Trump is an easy task. For this kind of service, I think it's reasonable to seek out someone new. I also liked the point several posters have made that regardless of politics, it just sounds like an uncomfortable and not customer service oriented experience.

I jokingly asked my hairdresser if her hairdressing training included lessons on making small talk with customers. She did say that they were advised not to mention politics as it's such a contentious and tricky subject and could lose them customers.

For what it is worth, I glanced at the display of daily newspapers while I was in the supermarket earlier today and one of them had a headline about "haircut is a hate crime" (or something like that): a discussion about Ukraine was thought by the customer to have led to an appalling trim to the hair. As far as I could make out on the cursory glance, it was the police calling it a hate-crime!

YANBU Getting your hair done should be an enjoyable experience from start to the end result. If you’re leaving feeling annoyed I’d say the experience is ruined, find somewhere you can relax and enjoy the pampering

I would just make it clear that I didn't want to discuss politics again, I would carry on seeing her. I couldn't continue to see someone who supported war crimes and atrocities, but I could deal with a Trump supporter.

I think you should switch hairdresser if you're not comfortable. I've recently "fallen out of love" with a very close friend of mine because I've found out she's a Nigel Farage, Tommy Robinson supporter. You probably haven't heard of these people but they're the UK equivalent of Trump.
I know people think you're intolerant if you end friendships over these things. They think you can't tolerate a difference of opinion. The thing is, you can tell a lot about a person from their political views - its how they view the world, how they view other groups of people, and what their values are. I find it very difficult to connect with people when we have such opposing world views.
I don't blame you for wanting a different hairdresser.

Ha, I’ve noticed that too! What, there was recently an election in the US? Who won? 😳

The number of people with TDS here is staggering.

@momtoboys you are being really pathetic!!!

Honestly I think I’d dump a hairdresser who talked politics the whole appointment even if we completely agreed. And I definitely wouldn’t keep going to one who refused to change the subject when I asked. It’s not about whether you can get on with people of different political views - I’m perfectly capable of working alongside people who vote differently, or being polite to my neighbours who put up opposing signs. But a haircut is a treat for me, I want to relax. Someone who makes the experience stressful would be out for me. I wouldn’t bother explaining why to her, just don’t book again.