To break with hair stylist over politics?

[momtoboys]

Please try to be kind, because as silly as this sounds I am very upset about this situation.

I am currently in the US and I have been going to the same woman who does my hair for 25 years. Over the years we have become friends but do not really see each other socially (occasionally talk on the phone, text, cook a meal when someone sick). We seem to have made this unspoken agreement that we would not discuss politics both knowing we are on opposite ends of the spectrum in our beliefs. The US has recently had a presidential election and the person elected is a VERY polarizing character. This is the person my hairstylist supports.

I had my hair done last night and it appears that since the election results our silent pact not to discuss politics has expired. She really wanted to talk about how much better the country will be and how smart the president elect is. I asked her to stop and that I didn't think we should discuss it but she kept on and then I went at her both barrels. we played the "well, what about THIS" game for a while each trying to outwit the other to prove our point. We were able to pull ourselves out of a terrible spiral and the last 1/2 hour of the appointment was fine. I hugged her goodbye which I normally don't do and I realized that was because I think that may be the last time I see her. I don't think I can go back. I still enjoy her as a friend but her support for this megalomaniac makes me think less of her. If this is the end do I call her and tell her why or just cancel my next appointment and just move on?

Doesn't really matter. Do you actually like her? I really wouldn't give a fuck if my hairdresser had different opinions to me. I would be more concerned about how she cut my hair. If hair good, yep everything else good.

There are plenty of Trump voters who are relatively normal people (and keep it quiet).

But YANBU, I stopped taken my son to the hairdresser who had done his hair his whole life because she told me how XL bullies should never have been banned and that you can't trust Keir Starmer because let Jimmy Saville abuse children.

Liberals hate claim to be pro free speech but this only applies to people that agree with them.
no need to get so butthurt that another adult disagrees with you.

I don't let subjects like politics ruin an otherwise good relationship with a person. At the end of the day she's a hair dresser, and I think you should still continue with her.

I don't think you understand free speech

So you will cut out half the population for this political decision? Yep,that's healthy

Debate is important.
sometimes speaking the nonsense that’s rattling around your brain, out loud, to a sceptical person is what clears the way for deeper thinking.

If you could still hug at the end of that conversation you’re doing great.

Keep talking.Keep listening. And don’t let the orange buffoon steal your friend and hairdresser. Be bigger than that.

It’s simpler than that for me, I don’t want to spend my hair appointments arguing with people. I’d be annoyed because when I get my hair done I like to sit with my kindle!

Purity spirals, rejecting people purely on legally held views is a stupid way to live imo, this polarised attitude is ridiculous

DH and I have both stopped going to hairdressers for this reason. It's a situation where you are a bit trapped if someone wants to talk politics at you, and in my case as I get colour, it's several hours of conversation. I got increasingly uncomfortable with what was racism ramping up every time I visited, and DH ran away from conspiracy theories. I want to enjoy something I'm paying money for, and I was just finding myself dreading the rants.

I don't mind a clash over opinions on taxes and rising bus fares, but I draw the line at racism, mysogyny and general hatred for anyone who isn't a rich white old man. I can only imagine what kind of an awful person she must be to be okay with that overgrown orange in charge. Cut those ties, find a new hairdresser!

Tbh i would find the idea of someone supporting the Biden administration even more unpallitable. The man is a megalomaniac (a totally incompetent one)who has thrown his country into the fire by making a bonkers decision with Russia and letting Ukraine use their missiles.

Comparing Trump to Labour is apples to oranges - clearly the extremism of Trump is different.

I’m a US voter and am happily cutting out anyone Trump supporting without second thought. First time around I felt differently, perhaps people didn’t realize quite how bad it would be. This time there is no excuse.

Trump voters / supporters are either ok with all of his views and behavior or they have chosen to hold their noses while voting for some parts of his agenda that they support. Either way, they are not people I want to associate with or support with my money. I choose to surround myself with good people, with morals akin to mine and a care for wider society. You can’t vote for Trump and claim to be any of those things.

So I say vote with your feet. Depending on where you live and the circles you move in, it’s actually quite easy to avoid trump voters.

Our posts crossed. You said it much more succinctly than I did, 100% agree.

Yep, and the democrats have really showed their caring side during the last few days. Authorising mines to blow people up, and putting a target on the back of their country...lovely morals and values....

I go to the hairdresser, weirdly enough, to get my hair cut.

laughing at the kids with socks & sliders is a side benefit!!

@momtoboys

is it really worth losing someone who you've been 'sort of' friends with for 25 years?

I'd just text & say, look you know our political views don't align, over the past 25 years we've become friends by keeping our political views out of it. My last appointment was very uncomfortable so can we please go back to keeping our political views out of our friendship & my appointments because I'd hate to fall out with you!

give it one more go & if she does it again, then just book your next appointment elsewhere and let it go or let her do the running.

YABU.

Hmm, thing is, she’s entitled to her opinion- but is she entitled to your business if she’s taken what is a luxury/pampering experience, and turned it into a debating and not pleasant experience for you?

yes, I go to the hairdressers to make my hair shorter and touch up my roots, but also it’s a lovely pampering experience- I tend to leave feeling happy and relaxed and a bit glamorous, if my hairdresser turned it into a bitter miserable experience I’m not sure Id want to go as much.

is she unusually talented at styling your hair and /or unusually cheap?

you asked her not to talk politics and she did anyway and ruined your couple of hours off being pampered. (This would be the same if say, she spent 2 hours telling you why meat was murder knowing you aren’t veggie, or if she tried to convert you to her religion)

Super crap service, she clearly has poor judgement, do you really want someone with terrible judgement making decisions about your hair?

Maybe she was just so excited that she needed to get it out of her system. Just make it clear that you don't want to discuss politics next time. If she does, then dump her.

YANBU. At all.

You’re right. I must be thick because I’m posting on this website.

Sorry OP, just re read your first message - you say you are “currently in the US” - are you not from America originally and therefore an immigrant?

Given that Trump has clearly said both illegal and legal immigrants may be removed, if you are an immigrant then that was incredibly bad taste of your hairdresser.

YABU, this issue is very divisive and has even caused a DIVORCE! So if someone says they do NOT want to talk about it : She should have respected your wishes!

OP was the one 'captive' in a chair having her hair done and having to listen to this bullshit, despite saying she didn't want to talk politics, didn't think it was a good idea, etc. The hairdresser refused to listen to her client's wishes and carried on with her politics anyway.

I wouldn't go back to her either.

I wouldn’t drop her for this as you have a long history and shouldn’t throw it away. You need to agree to disagree on this issue. Maybe when he is in office and starts doing things people don’t like she may change her stance.