To break with hair stylist over politics?

[momtoboys]

Please try to be kind, because as silly as this sounds I am very upset about this situation.

I am currently in the US and I have been going to the same woman who does my hair for 25 years. Over the years we have become friends but do not really see each other socially (occasionally talk on the phone, text, cook a meal when someone sick). We seem to have made this unspoken agreement that we would not discuss politics both knowing we are on opposite ends of the spectrum in our beliefs. The US has recently had a presidential election and the person elected is a VERY polarizing character. This is the person my hairstylist supports.

I had my hair done last night and it appears that since the election results our silent pact not to discuss politics has expired. She really wanted to talk about how much better the country will be and how smart the president elect is. I asked her to stop and that I didn't think we should discuss it but she kept on and then I went at her both barrels. we played the "well, what about THIS" game for a while each trying to outwit the other to prove our point. We were able to pull ourselves out of a terrible spiral and the last 1/2 hour of the appointment was fine. I hugged her goodbye which I normally don't do and I realized that was because I think that may be the last time I see her. I don't think I can go back. I still enjoy her as a friend but her support for this megalomaniac makes me think less of her. If this is the end do I call her and tell her why or just cancel my next appointment and just move on?

If it was just that she was a Trump supporter then I’d say you were unreasonable however the fact she was bringing it up when you said not to and it caused a heated debate then I think it’s understandable. You’re a client and she should be the one more mindful of not causing unpleasantness.

It's not about THAT they voted that way... but WHY they voted that way.
Clue: It's not because they're all MAGA hat wearing bigots and racists, despite what the media tells you.

Why is Trump a living nightmare? Is it because he might be the only person that Putin is willing to speak to to negotiate peace? Or is it the fact that under Trump there were no wars? Or is that Trump had a friendly meeting with the North Korean leader and wants to maintain that?

orrrr is it because Trump was the only person out of Obama, himself and Biden that supported gay marriage when it was a topic many years ago in the USA?

or is it because he knows the difference between a man and a woman?

or is it because he clearly is what American people want / need - hence why he won the election quite clearly?

I don’t know where this idea comes from that Trump supporters are in the minority when the results prove differently.

I didn't say that they were all hat wearing racists. That's an assumption you made. I said that Trump won because a majority of voters voted for him. People who voted for Trump are responsible for his presidency.

I tend to treat people like adults and hold them responsible for their actions.

I would keep her as your hairdresser. Ask her not to speak of politics again...until the inevitable shxt show happens and then remind her of the time she thought the genius mangoed one was the next messiah....and laugh hysterically. 🙄

I really couldn't keep using her as my hairdresser. To me, a vote for Trump is such a statement of your values - values that are the opposite to mine, and that will damage people I love. No way. Values have consequences.

They're not that hard to find.

Tolerance of what?

I'd expect my friends, unless it's some kind of emergency, to respect my wishes if I asked that we avoid a painful subject. They don't need to agree that it's a problem topic or understand my reasons. I'd expect my hairdresser to avoid discussing politics on the job out of basic common sense and self-preservation (why alienate ANY customer?) She clearly knows this is an area of disagreement between the two of you and has been able to avoid it in the past, so why not now?

Personally, I'd cancel and move on. I have a strict "no rape apologists" policy, and I'd boycott anyone on that basis no matter how hellish my hair looked.

Is that why the right started an insurrection,attacked the Capiltol and then prattled on for the last 4 years about not having.lost the election in 2020 ?

The right then sarted all the conspiracies of election fraud this time too but promptly shut up when they realised they had won.

Yeah all very reasonable and balanced.

Yes, very noticeable how they've shut up about election fraud since winning. Election fraud vanished when they won.

I'm in the US too. I absolutely could not keep seeing her either. You are not unreasonable at all.

I would say those people are a group of fanatics, anti establishment nuts and disruptors, who would answer the call to fight for any cause rather than the right.

Sure you don't need permission to change but this idea where people only want people that have been through a selection process of being vetted enough to be in your presence sounds a bit like what Hitler tried in the war

It’s a real problem. Why do leftists want to cancel people for their opinions?

Honestly I voted for Trump and can’t even mention it to anyone irl but family because of people like this. (Which leads people to be like, who voted Trump? I don’t know anyone who did. Which I have literally heard in my friend circle lmao)

It's only ever one side of the political spectrum that I ever hear saying "wow, you can't stop associating with people just because of their political views", and imply that someone's political choices don't say anything about their character.

OP, you're entitled to not associate with people who support bigoted and discriminatory political figures. Trump is not some middle ground conservative figure who has pros and cons, he literally stands on stage bragging about how awful he is. But even if her political choices weren't appalling, you'd be entitled to not use a hairdresser who keeps deliberately ignoring your requests to not talk about politics during appointments. Life is too short to waste it associating with people who you don't respect and who raise t blood pressure.

I understand where you're coming from OP, I'm no fan fof your new prez, his minions, or his supporters either.

However much it would be irritating to have to sit and listen to someone espouse their admiration and enthusiasm for this being, this person has been doing your hair to your satisfaction for 25 years, that's a long time.

If you've recently had a haircut, as in this past month, then of course this supporter will still be wanting to talk ad nauseam.

I wouldn't let that interfere with a good hairdresser, one who you've texted, talked on the phone with, and made meals for.

Switch off, don't respond, stick it out, go for your next appointment.

It's hard to believe she'll still be talking with the same enthusiasm for too many more appointments.

If she does, being aware that you've always kept politics out of your salon appointments, then you should either bring this up again to her, and failing a truce while you're there, start looking for another hairdresser.

There's enough division in the US amongst the population without you breaking with your hairdresser over political policies.

"Break with" is a bit dramatic. Just stop going? But a lot of people will have voted for him who work in service roles - your nurse maybe, postal workers, etc...you can't break with them all. For me it would depend on the views expressed. "I think Trump will be good for small businesses" - okay I disagree and think you're foolish but maybe we can still be friends. "I am strongly opposed to immigration and don't care about the way immigrant children are treated at the border" - probably the gulf is too wide.

But on the left we've tried abjuring the right and treating them as irredeemable idiots and it hasn't worked, has it. We have a duty to talk to each other, find common meeting points. That doesn't mean you have to concede a single point, but sequestering yourself from every Trump voter won't actually help to change anything even if it makes you feel briefly better.

You would not see your hairdresser again because she supports Trump?!?!?!
And we live in a society where we are to accept all things that people do but you don't yourself because you don't like your new president.
How bizarre is that?!?!

Everyone is entitled to their own political beliefs and opinions. I have a Russian friend at work ( I am English )and she is a huge supporter of Putin. She thinks he is a good man who is misunderstood. I actually find it interesting to hear her point of view, and vice versa. We also chat about other things as friends do. We're all just people,

I think if you had agreed never to talk politics if you don't go to the same hairdresser again it is a reasonable decision. I can also understand how someone you have known for 25 years albeit as a customer and trust with a part of your appearance is someone you will be sad never to meet again, if that is the case.

Mine could, if she had eaten beans for lunch that day! 😁😁

Whom she supports isn't a problem, she is entitled to her views. It is a problem that she brings it to the workplace. We once had a beauty therapist who was very vocal in her views about "forinners" during the time of the Brexit vote. All was fine and good until she started bringing it up with her clients. Many of the clients in the area had parents, spouses and children of European descent and a lot of the time you wouldn't be able to tell. We did have to let her go, unfortunately. Not because of her political views but because of her workplace conduct.

So letting Russia just do what they want in Ukraine would be better. Which country would you sacrifice next?!?

Why do so many on the right want to impose their opinion on others? The OP’s problem is that her hairdresser decided knowing her client wasn’t a Trump supporter, and being told that her client didn’t want to talk about politics, to go on about it throughout the full hair cut.

The OP says this woman is a friend, yet they don’t socialise. It’s a supplier/customer relationship, and it’s no longer pleasant.

I reckon the OP should at least try another hairdresser and decide if the quality of cut is worth the political lecture.