If you could choose a man again

[Isshestillonthis]

What top traits would you look for and are they different to what you looked for/wanted when younger?

If I was single now I would 100% look for a man who makes me laugh, is very intelligent and positive and kind and finally, someone well established financially.

When younger I probably only thought about humour from the above list.

It does exist

My husband is wonderful. I actually can’t think of a single thing I’d like him to change. A few people have told me what a lovely partner I have and I think it’s a shame that being a ‘good’ partner is seen as something to be surprised by.

There are lots of things I could mention that I like about him but probably the best is that we enjoy chatting with each other. He listens and he gets excited to tell me something that interested him or if he hears about something I’d be interested in. It’s really valuable to just chat. We’re also fine just quietly being near each other so we don’t talk constantly or anything.
I really love him and I really like him.

Another poster mentioned that their hubby is just really ‘nice’ in general and I think that quality leaks into everything a nice person does and make a heck of a difference to someone who isn’t an all around nice person.

edited because I realised I haven’t actually answered the op question! If I could choose again I’d choose the nice quality - and I’d choose my husband again and again….

Exact the same I have at home now.
Cheerleader, smart, clean, ambitious (and cheering on ambitions in me), tolerant of quirks and fun, hardworking, great chef (now that one became a bit of an issue with gaining weight😂)i am very much hoping I am the same to him.

Kindness, supportive, good natured and good humored, easy to live with. Someone that can cope with life.

Raw intelligence isn’t it for me. intelligent enough because intelligence is no protection against being really stupid, being an addict or being a plain old cunt.

Ambitious/hard working.
Big on reciprocity and equality.

I'd choose my husband again and again. I never really thought of qualities when looking for a partner when ie as younger, it was more who I clicked with.

I hit the jackpot with my DH though and he's everything I never knew I needed. We had a whirlwind romance and are still so happy together 15 years later. He professes his love for me daily, cares for me, is a good father, funny, protective, a good listener, emotionally intelligent, a good provider, kind to others, generous, successfully professionally through sheer heart which I admire but at home can be silly and have fun and he loves to travel and take adventures. I adore him 🥰

The only fly in the ointment is his family are very challenging and cause issues (as do mine). This has made us closer and changed our perspective on how we parent our own children.

Ooh a lad called David Christian asked me out when I was at college. I rejected him to go out with my mates brother. Last I heard he was working for a local TV aerial company. I sometimes daydream how my life would have been different if I went out with him. He was cute.

I wonder if David Christian's wife is on MN? That would be awkies

I would have paid more attention to lifestyle & career ambition.

I mean an early riser, good earner, good communicator & takes care of themselves.

At 70, nothing has changed and I would still want the same characteristics my late DH had. To be fair, they are ones other boyfriends had too.

Attractive, which is not the same as handsome.
Intelligent
A reader
Funny
Outgoing
I'm retired now so ambition isn't vital
Can cook
Has friends, especially women friends
Sports nuts need not apply
Not impecunious.

I was thinking about this the other day and came to the conclusion that I want a (reasonably attractive) man who is equal in terms of personality to any one of my closest female friends, which means kind, calm, reliable, fun, strong intelligent etc.... Previously I went for tall, handsome, intelligent, shy men but they were not always nice, kind thoughtful or generous.
I'm middle aged now and although some people find good partners at this age it seems just as likely that you won't so I'm getting used to that idea. It's been a big surprise that it's so hard to meet someone reasonable and it wasn't my plan to be single but if that's the way it goes I will adapt to it.

Kindness and self awareness would be much higher on my list. Appearance would be much lower. I was always attracted to 'lone wolf' types. Husband is a gorgeous lone wolf 😂 he is kind, but he's not hugely self aware and I do find that challenging.

I chose my man at 33 so I would still choose the same traits.

Successful, funny, good sexual chemistry, treats me very well.

When I was younger I was just looking for someone I was very attracted to!

My ex could do all that and more. He was a self employed joiner so he didn't want to be doing jobs when he got home. Obviously more motivated when he was getting paid.

Probably similar to many chefs who can but prefer not to cook at home

An early riser ? that is interesting, why ?

Are ppl writing lists of what there current partner is not?

Slightly off tangent but just learned a new word, 'impecunious', thanks for that echt.

Please edit or delete this comment. Really poorly worded and could be very upsetting.

That's my DH! But also add: nervous, anxious, nitpicking, stingy for small things but otherwise generous, blame others when at fault, a chatterbox (often the same slights that he needs to repeat) or uninteresting subject like football. A bit selfish.

I would choose DH again. He gets me and we have a right laugh. We are from similar backgrounds too.

He was very close to his Mum and his sister and so understands women. When I met him, I didn't think he was my type but I realised that he brought out the best in me so when he asked me to marry him, we agreed to give it a try and if it didn't work out, he would keep his stuff and I would keep mine and we would divorce. He wanted to crack on as he was taking early retirement and wanted to make financial arrangement for me as his wife in the event of his death. I found this scary as we were married within eight months of meeting.

Been married 24 years and it's been a blast. We've both been ill and have nursed and cared for each other. He's very ill now and I am likely to lose him soon. There is no way I could find anyone like him and I would always compare so probably wouldn't even try.

I came on to say "someone who can do DIY" but looks like others have beaten me to it 😂

I’m really sorry @OliviaWould asked in that manner, and I’m more sorry for your loss. Some people just don’t care who they hurt. Or they’re just jealous of what you had (and may have again). 💐❤

I'd choose a man who had the ability to be faithful.. and didn't have a dick for a brain. Is honest and open and able to show compassion for others. I chose badly and if I had my time again I'd probably not bother at all.

@DoAWheelie 💕🌷