To not go on this holiday

[Ickityick]

Booked and paid for a winter break a long time ago.

Person I'm going with has been hugely irritating me the last few months with their general tightness and CFness.

We are sharing a room.

Should I go or write it off!

In your position, I would refund her the money and say it's cancelled. Then go on my own anyway.

And cancel her off the booking in case she turns up at the airport anyway.

I cannot think of anything worse than sharing a room for a week with someone I didn't want to be friends with. I would definitely rather not go. It would be so uncomfortable.

If you’re anticipating spending another £500 on food etc, I’d think about looking up other last minute deals and going somewhere else on your own. It’s going to be really in relaxing spending ten days sharing a room with someone you’re livid with!

Oh, that’s annoying. Keep your toiletries in their bag in a drawer. Can I borrow…? Gets, ‘you can get some at the market’.

Lock on your suitcase. And i wouldn't treat for anything, separate bills the whole way.

And I'd take books or headphones and just ignore her if she starts. Room can be used just for sleep

Can't understand why you booked the holiday in the first place! You knew what she's like

It's worth going for ONE cheap meal and see what happens.

Then you have it out with her if she tries to freeload

But if she behaves you'll have a better time

Growing a pair comes to us all at different times and yours is now! Some brilliant ideas on how to stop her CFness so if you do decide to go I'd use them! Hope you do go as a FU to her but whatever you do, you've grown your pair now don't ever let anyone ever do that again to you. You're worth way more. Good luck 👍

@Ickityick she may not turn up - do you usually do airport pick up etc?

whilst she is a CF supremo and could make a nice living teaching at the CF Academy, I think a lot of CFs rely on people being too polite, not wanting to seem petty, not wanting to spoil an evening by making things awkward, not wanting to ask questions when told a sob story.

But I think you have emancipated yourself. You've called her out clearly and not in a nasty way - hence she didn't have a leg to stand on and being a CF could not apologise so had to resort to the closest thing a CF can get to remorse which is "I'm sorry you feel that way."
You could have fun with this by doing the same thing back,
"I hear what you're saying." to a sob story,
followed up with "Your share of the bill is £10.50"

I think you should go since you have paid and the weather is miserable here. You've now proved that you can call her out without hesitation and refuse to be CFed. She must have realised that from your letter. You've already got plans for what you want to do. If she tries it on again "I can't help you. Whatever are you going to do now?"

You've said that in the past she's been charming and you got on OK. Maybe now that she realises you are immune to pleadings, you might be able to resume a semblance of your former friendship for the 10 days.?

ps. All of this has got me thinking... what's going on in the CF mindset.
Are they keeping score... 3 points to Griffindor, when they are successful, or is it just a reflex they've been taught from birth to do and they hardly notice. For example did they have parents who gave them everything and it seems natural for them to do this. Or are they bean counters, looking for ways to save.

Offer them £500 to not go? Then have a lovely holiday on your own?

Definitely still go, you'll still have a lovely time in the sun in the day and the evening, with just a small annoyance that she'll be sleeping in the room with you overnight!

If you decide not to go, and TBH I wouldn't bother as the stress of it all would kill any enjoyment, well then you are 500quid up (your spending money) so you could treat yourself to something nice here instead.

Your stress levels will thank you.

Although if you don't go, we won't get any free entertainment with your updates.....

She sounds like an irritating little sister!

Someone I really liked did this to me, 'Can I borrow some wash powder... shampoo...' etc, without my noticing, until I overheard her boasting that she had managed to save all her pay for the last month - 'Yes', I said in front of everyone, 'at my expense - don't ask me again.' We still got on but my eyes were opened and I no longer liked her as much.
How are you going to ensure that she doesn't live on room service all holiday, and put it all in your name? If it's your booking, it might become your responsibility. She might run up hundreds, knowing it's her last chance with you.
Can you stipulate separate room service bills, warn management why, keep a list of what you put on it, check your bill periodically with the management, and see if she is blatantly dishonest enough to forge your signature - and be ready to kick up a stink if she does. Or tell her you are doing this, and warn her you will call the police on her if she does.

She'll probably deliberately get sunburnt because you wouldn't give her sunscreen -and of course she'll have "left hers at home". 🤔

I don't think she would do this!

If you do go and she takes any of your stuff I'd simply go to reception and ask them to call the police. Possibly a bit melodramatic but she is a habitual thief and deserves it. I'd also tell the hotel staff given she's been stealing you want her out of the room - perhaps they can push her to pay for a new room or leave. But more like if she steals headphones than some toothpaste :-D

I think you’ll be happier with a separate room. Just find the money.

So when she inevitably pulls the "Oh I didnt bring enough money with me, its more expensive than I thought" card, as she will, say "I dont understand why you agree to do things you cant afford and just expect other people to pay for you. If I cant afford to do something, I dont do it. I dont agree to book something and then mug off someone else. Why do you do that?"

And keep throwing it back. "Why do you keep doing things that you say you cant afford?"

But you didnt think she would wreck your clothes, steal your personal toiletries and not pay back money she owes you......but she did.

Insist that there is no room service delivered to your room, make sure they understand that you are not paying for it so if it does happen, they are paying for it and not you.

Yes @Ickityick just pull £650 out of your arse!!

If you go, and go out with her when there, check every time that she has cash or card with her BEFORE you leave the hotel.

Is it worth looking at other hotels/airbnb for your own room - either now or once there?

If you do share a room (or even if you don't, given it's in your name) make it clear that she is not to charge anything to room service - refuse to give your card details to the hotel if you can,

And a padlock for your suitcase.