To not go on this holiday

[Ickityick]

Booked and paid for a winter break a long time ago.

Person I'm going with has been hugely irritating me the last few months with their general tightness and CFness.

We are sharing a room.

Should I go or write it off!

Agree to always stating as soon as you go somewhere ‘can please bill us separately’.

Also, steel yourself to be as hard as nails financially. Your money that you earned is for you to spend. If you wouldn’t send me £5 or treat me to coffee and cake, don’t treat her either.

Keep toiletries in your locked suitcase.

That's hilarious !

That's the problem. As I've noticed all these behaviours I have totally stopped enjoying her company , she can be charming etc but now I just think she wants something !

Ah.
Here's an alternative idea: You send her a polite but not especially friendly email saying that if she is still planning to come on the holiday, she needs to bring enough money to cover her meals, drinks and outings and enough of her own toiletries to last the trip, because you will not be lending her or paying for anything. And if she can't afford to go on holiday on this basis, she'd better not go. You wish you didn't have to say this to her, but she's freeloaded so often in the past that you're fed up and don't feel inclined to give her any treats.
Then see what she says. She may decide not to go.

That is bloody perfect thank you !

If you are eating out, take cash each night and eat and drink within that amount.

Having asked the waiter for separate bills, settle yours with the cash.

When she asks you to pay you can say genuinely that you only had that cash on you. It is might be a pain but it instantly stops her abusing you.

I'd take a small locking vanity case to keep items in if you don't want her helping herself.

And non valuable items of clothing if she's likely to help herself.

Earphones and some good books.

Are you all inclusive? If not do some research into restaurants and prices so you have an idea of how much cash you'll need.

You can get travel accounts you top up that let you withdraw money.

It's probably not your idea of a comfortable holiday but sometimes you have to meet the CFkery head on.

I was being serious 😂🤣😂

Tell her you haven't got the money to cover her expenses and keep reminding her of this during every conversation before the trip. If she still comes, you'll have to be strong and ideally put down your half in cash (all too easy for her to ask you to put it on your card so she can pay you back later). If she starts any CFery walk out and leave her to it.

Alternatively you could suggest a pre holiday meal and if she tries to get you to pay for her drinks/meal, just tell her that she is obviously going to expect you to pay for her while you're away so the holiday won't be happening.

I'd go but stand your ground, don't pay for her if she says she can't afford a meal out say well I guess you will be hungry then see you later. If you've already eaten and she announces it pay your half and walk out. I bet she can find money when she needs to

What happened last time when she used your toothpaste and shampoo? Did you tell her this was out of order?

I think it's possible for you to have a good holiday with her so long as you both make an effort to get on, and she doesn't continue to take the piss.

It'll be awful.dont go. She's got form for massive cheekyness so save yourself the hassle and tell her why.
And that's the end of the relationship..which isn't friendship.

So when you do your message at the weekend remind her this means bringing or buying her own toiletries etc.

I realised after about 5 days , at which point I started putting them in a large wash bag so less accessible and when she went into that as well I put them on my bedside table.!
She then rather reluctantly went and bought some but complained how expensive sun lotion was !

I also suggest you tell her you are going to use an app like Tricount, which tallies up what each of you have spent. It’s great on holidays with friends.

I would forward her that app, with a cheery message saying ‘Oh look, this will make it so easy to split our expenses evenly. Don’t forget toiletries this time- money’s really tight at the moment so I might need to borrow a few things’. With any luck, she’ll duck out of the holiday

What’s the arrangement with paying for things in the hotel? If you can just charge things to the room I think there’s a massive risk she’ll run up a huge bill and you’ll be left paying it. You could lose even more than the cost of the holiday. Unless you’re very sure that can’t happen, I think it might be safest not to go.

Everyone has made some great suggestions but I'm sorry- I just wouldn't go.
Lift is too bloody short for all this hassle and if you're dreading it ,it's completely pointless.
Have a good week at home doing whatever you feel like and avoid the stress and hassle of it all.

Me too! It won't be a relaxing break with you constantly having to watch out for her freeloading whilst guarding your toiletries

Honestly if that's what she's like, I wouldn't bother going. I'd tell her before hand so she can decide whether to go or not. In no uncertain terms tell her why you're not going too. She doesn't seem to have to deal with the repercussions of her behaviour.

If you have time off work, still use the time off visiting places you've always wanted to see.

There’s no way I’d even be considering going on this holiday. Leave her to it herself, she’ll shit herself when she realises you haven’t turned up and she hasn’t bothered bringing everything she needs and also has to pay full whack for herself.
The money is spent and long gone and by your own admission was cheap at the time - I’d write it off and move on.
Life is way too short to be dreading a holiday and I imagine she won’t have changed her ways.
Cheap people are not my ideal company.

Write it off .stuck on holiday with a Freeloader is going to be hell on earth for you.
She ain't no friend just a user.

It sounds like you don’t want to continue with the friendship, so I would see if you can get any sort of refund if you cancel. Give her half of what you get back and be done with it. If you do go, be polite, lock all your stuff in your suitcase (with a good quality lock) then just do your own thing. If you think she will still try to get you to pay everything just leave her to do her own thing.

I will add to the ‘ don’t go’ side. I made the mistake of going on a holiday with a friend (and sharing a room) despite dreading it, despite her telling me she wished she’d not booked, and informing me of all her routines she had to stick to (which were so different to mine). This was to Disneyland Paris and it was an utter disaster! For many many reasons - we both ended up losing our temper, I spent days in my own, came back to a darkened room when she was asleep so had to tiptoe around - I ended up booking a Eurostar a day early and leaving - it was so so bad and she upset me so much with her behaviour. (I had warned hee that I would go home and she challenged me to - so I did)

we never spoke again as friends - but had to work together and it was dreadful. I would have rather lost the money and had a civil relationship with her

I came on here to give ideas of how to manage the trip but when I came to start writing I just thought - no, I couldn't do it if I were you, I'd kill her. Might be worth thinking about why you agreed to book a holiday with someone who had repeatedly stolen from you on a previous holiday. Are you perhaps a bit of a people pleaser? I note you also say you moved your toiletries into a wash bag, not that you confronted her. If you do decide to go I think you need to be willing to have confrontations even where it is embarrassing eg in front of a waiter - here's my €30 waiter for my meal. Oh CF says she has no money to pay? Sorry I have no spare cash - CF looks like you are doing the washing up/maybe call your mum and get her to do a transfer. Smile sweetly. Then walk out of the restaurant.

But this kind of person will always find a workaround to screw you. So I just wouldn't go.