To not go on this holiday

[Ickityick]

Booked and paid for a winter break a long time ago.

Person I'm going with has been hugely irritating me the last few months with their general tightness and CFness.

We are sharing a room.

Should I go or write it off!

@Ickityick how much did this holiday actually cost? How many days is it? Is it all inclusive or just flight and hotel?

It's going to be an interesting holiday given you are sharing a room!

It's 10 days, bed and breakfast , under 600 quid each !

It’s really hard to believe she’ll actually go at this point!

Unless she’s either supremely confident that she can get round you or is ready to pay her own way if she doesn’t. But the atmosphere in the room is likely to be absolutely awful.

She will absolutely go I have no doubt.

Haven't heard back since I sent her specific examples of freeloading, but she would never not go on a holiday if she had paid for it, probably quite sensibly.!

Yes this. I think I'd contact the hotel in advance and ask what they can put in place to ensure separate bills. Make sure there's a paper trail.

I might be tempted to get some cheapo toiletries and just take those too, one less thing to worry about. Supermarkets usually have a shampoo and conditioner for £1 etc.

Thinking about it, it's actually quite amazing that she paid her full share up of the original holiday.

You are allowed to change your mind. Don't go. If you say she sucks the fun out of it and you won't really enjoy your holiday, life is too short for that! Money's lost but if won't enjoy the holiday then what's the point? She can still find another friend to go with and they take your place? It doesn't matter whose name the accommodation is booked in, that can certainly be changed?

We paid over 6 months a while back, money came out my account monthly and so I chased her every month to pay...

I think on arrival at the hotel ask at reception if they have any spare single rooms. Or is the hotel available to book online a room only before you go? I know you said it would be expensive but if you can scrape the money together I think it would be worth it for peace of mind and to have proper relaxation. I'd put it on a Credit card if it were me. The thought of having to lock up your toiletries is truly ridiculous and I couldn't holiday like that.

Thanks. I looked online and the cheapest room for 10 nights was 650 in total

Holiday will need about 500 spending money so booking another room makes it a very expensive holiday!

The more I read here the more it seems sensible to just forgo the 600 already spent and have a lovely time at home, annual leave needs to be taken by end of the year so I would still take it as otherwise I would lose it.

It's just me feeling like she has won if I don't go now..and her I'm sorry you feel like that response made me really cross!

Why do you continue to pay for her / lend her things?
In your drinks example, why didn’t you ask her to buy her round? And when you went to the bar, why did you buy something for her?
Same with the sunscreen, instead of moving it somewhere less accessible, could you have told her that you don’t want to share and that she needs to buy her own?

Yes I should have done, and it's only now that I have started saying something, in the past I haven't wanted things to awkward , only lately grown a pair !

You cancelling doesn’t mean she’s won.
You’ve won in that you’ve finally told this woman how badly she has treated you and how disgusted you are with her and that you won’t put up with it any more. You’ve won your voice! And you will find it easier to deal with manipulative friends in future.
That’s all much more important than a holiday. Refusing to spend time with her underlines your point still further and means she will have to pay for herself like anyone else - unless she tries the sob stories on someone she meets there.
only go if you really want to. You can decide on the day.

Don't let her have the holiday to herself! That's just letting her freeload again.

I’d still go, but I’d treat it as a solo holiday & I wouldn’t put up with any of her nonsense.
If you feel you’d give in and pay for her, then don’t go. If you can stay civil & just keep reminding her you aren’t her atm whenever the sob story starts, then go and enjoy your holiday. Block out her noise with a good set of headphones 😉

Are there other hotels cheaper you could look at and just use the flights? The examples you have don't sound petty to me.

Well I'm not one to hide away from a harsh conversation.

I'd talk, call or have a coffee and offload all the things that are pissing you off and why you are stressing about the holiday. Then ask her, can you actually afford to go as I have budgeted X. Then shut up and see what she says.

This will either clear the air or determine your decision to go or not.

I would really hate to go on holiday and share a room with someone that behave like that. It would ruin the whole holiday for me. If it was an apartment or something it would be different but sharing a bedroom would be incredibly painful for me!

Sounds like a miserable holiday to me. I’d cut my losses and not go.

Honestly op you will go a bit bonkers staying in a room with her for 10 whole days when things are so hostile between you. Even if you do lots on your own during the day. If it was a weekend, fine. But 10 days is madness.

Could you check if there are rooms available just before you go?
It's unlikely they'll be able to rent them out at the last moment, so whatever price they offer you, I'd counter-offer 1/3 & negotiate.

As you are the lead booker, I suspect if you don't go the holiday would be cancelled and you would need to pay her back her money, therefore I would go. Make sure you update regularly!

Fair enough, easier said than done.

Yes, this is definitely something to consider. Get written confirmation from someone that you can simply not turn up and she can still go.