Adult Children who live at home the heating goes on when your parents say so.

[oktheber]

Just a bit of a rant really with some young colleagues I work with in their 20's who live with their parents. Yes I know it has been snowing, yes I know you're freezing cold but at the end of the day if you're parents will only have the heating on for a couple of hours in the evening then that's absolutely their right to choose to that. Just because you pay them rent, which is not at market value I should say, does not mean you can put the heating on the days you WFH and your parents are right to be furious for you do that.

AIBU?

Anyone who lives in the home is free to turn heating on at any time. At any age. My children, well adult and child are free to do this and I encourage it. Regularly remind them to turn heating on or up if they’re cold. I obviously have heating on and dh and I regularly light a fire for the cozy ness of it but if anyone feels cold then that’s not ok.

Having rules that make someone uncomfortable in their own home is only ever going to be appropriate if nobody can find the money for the bills. A day's travel pass in London suburbs costs £12.30 to £15.60, which is more than the cost to run the heating at home for the 8 hours of work. Adult kids working from home can pay towards heating instead of their travel pass, if their parents can't afford it.

Again, another ignorant comment, to say this is a British attitude.The UK is diverse and multicultural, so how can this be a British attitude, when many cultures are living there.

The UK is diverse and multicultural, so how can this be a British attitude, when many cultures are living there.

Ok, observed more on British territory

I think PP means white British.

They ‘means white British’ Ah well that’s ok then!🙄They’re just ignorant comments, much like your observation.

It's not that your charging your adult child rent but more that they are making a contribution towards food/heating/internet/TV streaming services. The parents will still be responsible for any mortgage and maintenance of the property which the children may well inherit in the future.

It's not that your charging your adult child rent

I thought the op stated that the parents DID charge rent. And that the children couldn't turn the heat up when working from home

I'm from an EU country

I’m sure no one in an EU country expects any of their offspring to contribute in any way to the house. Ah now hang on.

The mumsnet mantra of ‘don’t charge kids rent if you can afford it’ is utter bollocks. I’ve seen so many young adults just turn into entitled layabouts working half heartedly in a hobby job while their parents support them. It is doing those kids no favours at all if they want in the future have a decent lifestyle.

This. That said I can understand some parents may be struggling for to cost of living crisis. Though the adult children in that situation would be saying some sort of rent, and you can say if they are contributing to the bills them they should have a say.

Yeah, you tell 'em! They brought their kids into this world to SUFFER, not to enjoy themselves!

I’m sure no one in an EU country expects any of their offspring to contribute in any way to the house.

I'm sure every household member contributes to the running of the household! That is normally a given. That's very different than charging rent on top.

I’ve seen so many young adults just turn into entitled layabouts working half heartedly in a hobby job while their parents support them

So have I - that happens regardless of where the children live. In fact it's less likely to happen if they're in a a supportive family environment and get help and encouragement to earn skills and build up a career.

You realise that ‘rent’ is just what people call ‘contributing’ right?

Young people being spoiled and molly coddled and not expected to stand on their own two feet does not help them at all. Of course not having a supportive family is also hugely damaging but is a completely separate situation,

Go back 7-10 years and quibbling about heating would have been quibbling about pennies or pounds. Energy bills have risen so significantly that now you might be talking hundreds more to heat a house all day for someone to wfh. I work from home and heat the person not the space. Best thing to wear is an oodie. I have been on many a call where I can tell the work level by the meeting attire. I’ve had very senior staff pondering why other staff are sat with layers on… in one call someone questioned why a bald male had a hat on.

You realise that ‘rent’ is just what people call ‘contributing’ right?

No, I did not realise that.

Every family member, including younger children, contribute to the household by helping eg setting the table, cooking, emptying the bins etc That is normal imo.

However, asking for money/rent on top of that, is what I am surprised about. Maybe I misunderstood

@MerryMarys

a big part of running a house is the financial side of it so surely it makes sense that all adults living in a house would contribute financially as well as with chores and housework surely?

As someone who lived in a flat with only electric heating, that's insane. It's a really expensive way to heat your home, and you're gonna get black mould in the rooms you aren't heating.

🙄

Well we are off topic, but 1. I have a roof covered in solar panels. 2. electric heaters have really improved, I've got ones filled with fluid that don't use much energy. 3. when a heater fell off the wall it didn't take out all my heating 4. I bought the house 18 months ago and the existing boiler was lit with a match and was using a leaking flue, so I had to replace it and re-route the gas which seemed crazy given point 5. 5. gas will run out in the next 10 years. 6. my house is properly insulated. :)