Adult Children who live at home the heating goes on when your parents say so.

[oktheber]

Just a bit of a rant really with some young colleagues I work with in their 20's who live with their parents. Yes I know it has been snowing, yes I know you're freezing cold but at the end of the day if you're parents will only have the heating on for a couple of hours in the evening then that's absolutely their right to choose to that. Just because you pay them rent, which is not at market value I should say, does not mean you can put the heating on the days you WFH and your parents are right to be furious for you do that.

AIBU?

😂 do you feel better now?

Yes - having the heating on gives me a headache. It’s been on a lot this week because my husband feels the cold much more than I do, and I have not felt good. Left to my own devices I’d turn it down and put another jumper on. Would never inflict it on guests though, I just put up with the headaches.

Interesting. Mum thinks we are unreasonable because she says its her home and it makes her feel 'ill' (she is prone to dramatics). Apparently that trumps us being cold.

Im going over for dinner tonight at 4, and its 0c here. Im going to bring it up again if she wont put the heating on and I will leave. I refuse to be cold.

Im also going to bring up that its unhealthy - especially for those over 65.

I think I go the other way and lightly roast guests because I know I'm the weird one and would hate them to be cold. Really, I would just like it to be summer all the time to avoid heating altogether.

There is nothing more grim than going to someone’s house and it’s freezing. It’s been zero outside for the past few days. My heating has been on all day. Then apparently it’s mild at the weekend so it will be back off again.

Your rude comment derailed it.

@WeRateSquirrels

“Another jumper”…how many jumpers can you put on at a time?

😂 Just keep your coat on

Only two. I'd be happy with the heating around 17/18 with a jumper and a cardigan. As it is, it's a bit higher than that, and I have one jumper and a headache.

When my adult kids were at home they didn't pay rent and were allowed to put the heating on if they were cold.

This 100%

Just because you pay them rent, which is not at market value I should say, does not mean you can put the heating on the days you WFH and your parents are right to be furious for you do that.

Is this a joke? Are you serious?

I'd hate to be your colleague

Your reply to the poster’s comment derailed it. If you hadn’t engaged a that whole little sideshow wouldn’t have happened.

Meanwhile your comment has added what? PPs silly comment started the derailing process. 🫣

Nobody asked you to give it more than a passing glance. You chose to reply and start something. My post doesn’t add anything to the point of the thread. I just don’t like bullies.

A lot of people can't afford this.

I can't imagine rationing the heating so that my kids freeze.

Any member of my household that is suitably dressed (socks, trousers and a jumper) and has attempted to move position/use a blanket but is still cold is fully entitled to put the heating on.
We can’t afford much but I won’t have anyone suffer.

YABU. It's shit that many people in their 20s can't afford to move out, and yes, their parents are doing them a favour, but not being able to have your home where you control things like the heating is frustrating as an adult. If they were having a go directly at their parents, that would be massively unreasonable, but there's nothing wrong with a bit of harmless venting away from home. We all do it, about different things in our different lives.

I WFH and typically stay in one room of the house all day. For that reason we removed our gas central heating and now heat the rooms in use, when they are in use, using electric heaters.
If you want to be really pedantic about it, ask them to use an electric heater, work out how many kwhs it uses, and then charge them on rent day for what they used. I think you can even get little meters on plugs that tell you your usage. Its a good way for young people to learn about energy usage.
Or just put the heating on fgs. Its literally freezing.

I do t want them to be cold but i expect them to wear trousers, socks/slippers and a jumper before reaching to boost the heating plus if I'm home and not cold, it's a case of tough, wear a thicker jumper

I wouldn't want my kids to feel cold at home however I'm fine to WFH without the heating on. So perhaps a compromise could be had where the kids do their best to keep warm and only use the heating a bit. They should also be contributing to the bill.

It's really not about being 'tight' - energy prices are through the roof and many of us are dreading Jan when they'll go up again. If you are keeping a roof over your adult kids' heads and between you, you can't pool enough to afford heating to the level the kids would like, then there's just no other option.

I live in one of the coldest places in the UK and haven't been able to turn heating on at all - daughter and I are dressed like Maggie Simpson and making good use of electric blankets, but last year when things were really financially grim we didn't even have that option. Just the times we live in.

When I lived at home (in my late twenties and early thirties) I used to pay my Mum £120 housekeeping money and my Dad £20 council tax money. At the time I was bringing home around £440 a month. No matter how cold it was, my Dad refused to put the heating on till October. My Brother bought an electric heater for his room as his room was cold. This probably cost more to run so he didn't tell my Dad lol. Now Dad's older (79) he feels the cold 🥶 more, and in the morning puts his heating on. I'd have my heating on as soon as it starts to get cold, but with gas prices rising I try not to use it and use a blanket and hot water bottle. If I do put the heating on, I usually use the +1 hour function which brings the heating on for 1 hour. This takes the chill off. Good for early morning as stripping off for a bath is horrible in the colder months.

This, you need the heating so reach a compromise and pay a little more rent but don't expect your DC to freeze