Adult Children who live at home the heating goes on when your parents say so.

[oktheber]

Just a bit of a rant really with some young colleagues I work with in their 20's who live with their parents. Yes I know it has been snowing, yes I know you're freezing cold but at the end of the day if you're parents will only have the heating on for a couple of hours in the evening then that's absolutely their right to choose to that. Just because you pay them rent, which is not at market value I should say, does not mean you can put the heating on the days you WFH and your parents are right to be furious for you do that.

AIBU?

@Galdownunder

lol it’s not unusual at all

Why do you pay for your children before they are 18 but not when they reach adulthood? What fundamentally changes regarding costs. My adult DC living at home fund their own outgoings and social expenses but we don't charge them rent or bills.

Neither do I. But its definitely a privileged position to be in.

Children are dependents.
Adults generally aren't.
There is variation of what age some folk feel their children are adults, especially if they ate students after school. Mid 20s is definitely adult though.

Charging DC to stay in their own home is a peculiarly British thing and I find it very bizarre.

DH has Asian relatives and they would be grossly offended at the thought of charging their own DC ‘rent’. We also have a number of close friends in Spain, where DC tens to live at home for longer. Again, they would never dream of charging them money.

It’s just another example of why the U.K. is becoming a terrible place to live for young adults.

I am Asian. I don't take money from any family, including my mum or sister. And they don't from me. My mum and inlaws will come to stay for months or weeks and pay nothing. When I visit my sister she won't let me pay for anything. In a few years I will be moving my mum into my house and she will pay me nothing. Zero.So it's not just about the young, it's also about taking care of the old.

It's a different way of living and not necessarily the best. It just is! I don't judge people who can't afford to live like this or find it doesnt work for them.

Matching the op's energy, that's all

No, you're most definitely not.
Do you always respond with vitriol or just online where you're hiding behind a screen?

I’m working class and I think it was much more common for adult children to pay keep when I was young. It’s not a new thing. I ‘charge’ my full-time working DD ‘keep’. In reality, it’s a token amount that just covers her phone bill, and a few things that she has on subscription from Amazon each month. It doesn’t even cover food or bills or a roof over her head (which I provide).

I’m lucky that I can afford to subsidise her. Many parents don’t have that luxury. Her disposable income is much higher than mine, BUT if I was struggling I wouldn’t think twice about expecting a contribution. Why should I starve so that she can go to 4 concerts a month, festivals, holidays, eat out twice a week, takeaways and buy new clothes every week while I live like a pauper?

It's not peculiar, it's been commonplace for years. Some folk cannot afford to subsidise adult children, some want to teach them about responsibility and budgeting, some actually save at least a chunk of it and surprise DC with a little lump sum.

Perfect reply!

Let’s start now insulting British people shall we!! Do you live in the UK?

Not every British person, expects their grown up children to pay rent, some do and some don’t and in this current economic climate, that’s absolutely fine.It’s nobody’s business it’s entirely up to the parents.The point came up, if grown up working (Adults over 18) are contributing then of course, they shouldn’t have to ask to have the heating on and not be cold.Many people on this thread are saying, whether they contribute financially as adults or not, it’s their home, would never see their grown up children be cold.
@ParkBench5 It’s not ok to be so judgmental, say Britain is a terrible place!
this thread is just getting completely OTT!

Some if us don't have a choice. My eldest pays towards the house hold, she has more than enough in her bank to put a deposit down for a house.

@Shaksuka

because when they’re children they are children and when they are adults they are adults. Being an adult means doing things like your paying your way and contributing. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just life! People shouldn’t have to sign up to finding another adult for the rest of their lives when they choose to become a parent

You are free to disagree.

Well, clearly.
I'm not the only one who feels that way.

I got plenty of thanks on my post as well.

Are you fully intent on derailing this thread or do you have anything else to do today?

This is lovely, thank you. I am in my mid-late twenties and still live at home. However, I do most of the cooking, about 70% of the washing and cleaning and have a job which I enjoy. We all actually really enjoy each others company. My parents get help with things which get trickier with age (not just mobility wise, but getting to grips with new technology), I help pay towards things. I don't earn a huge amount but I am more likely to spend any spare money treating my parents to something before spending it on myself. Yes, there are some adults who live at home and take the mick, but ours really isn't a big deal. I don't know why some people are so resentful of other people living with their adult children. How come adult friends / flat mates can live together and that is 'accepted' but family members can't. In other countries, no one would bat an eye lid.

You do seem rather cross about this OP. Why do you care? It's not your house.

“You may have one lump of coal to burn Bob Cratchit” you’re a modern day Scrooge, OP.

I would argue them needing to be comfortable working all day is very important. They are of working age and are contributing to the household and society through taxes. “My house, my rules” is just mean spirited and unnecessarily controlling when they are hardly unemployed degenerates scrounging off their parents!

Mine put on the heating themselves.

The parents sound like twats as well

So they get to sit in a nice warm office whilst the kids freeze?

No, you're being silly.

It all depends on who is paying the heating bill - if they are earning maybe they are paying for what they are using. I believe there is some tax reduction for WFH?

I’m sorry but when the outside temperature is below zero (as it was yesterday) then you have to put the heating on to maintain a reasonable temperapture in the house. If this is an issue costwise, then parents/renting child need to come to an arrangement where renter pays a top up amount for the number of days WFH/where heating is put on. It’s only a few months of the year and most of us have a DD that means there is money accruing on the account in anticipation of higher bills in the winter period. FFS anything else is bloody ridiculous.