Adult Children who live at home the heating goes on when your parents say so.

[oktheber]

Just a bit of a rant really with some young colleagues I work with in their 20's who live with their parents. Yes I know it has been snowing, yes I know you're freezing cold but at the end of the day if you're parents will only have the heating on for a couple of hours in the evening then that's absolutely their right to choose to that. Just because you pay them rent, which is not at market value I should say, does not mean you can put the heating on the days you WFH and your parents are right to be furious for you do that.

AIBU?

Lol. That’s right! You get in there and tell those ungrateful brats. 😂

I think YABU. A grown adult is able to decide if they need the heating on, his parents can charge him more rent if the want, to cover the cost.

You expect people to WFH with no heating in this weather?

I would hate to think anyone was cold in my home. Mine were always welcome to put the heating on if they were at home and we weren’t. I suppose it would depend on if parents could afford it though. Our heating has been on all day every day for over a fortnight now. I never understand why people freeze while working at home tbh. I read posts on here with people WFH wearing layer after layer, hot water bottles, heated throws etc. If they’re cold then go into the office would be my advice. As I said, it depends on finances but I certainly wouldn’t be freezing anywhere I worked nor do we expect any of our employees to be cold, if they’re cold at home they can come into the office.

You seem really annoyed for no reason.

Weird.

When my adult kids were at home they didn't pay rent and were allowed to put the heating on if they were cold.

My adult DC don't pay me rent and I still have the heating on. Lol.

Personally I quite like my kids and want them to be comfortable in their home 🤷‍♀️

I don’t mind dd putting the heating on during the day if she’s cold. I do object to her dictating that I can’t use the vacuum cleaner/listen to the radio/make any noise whatsoever because she’s in a meeting or on a call. When her employers pay me rent for my home, I’ll stop going about my daily business.

YABU. It's up to the young people and their parents to reach a compromise if it's causing upset at home - more rent for more heating, for example.

I've got to ask though, why do you care? I know MN would be nothing without people sticking their noses where they're not needed. But why does this interest you particularly?

My Children are still children and if they say they are cold it gets boosted and they anit paying either. Weird mindset.

Maybe they just want them to move out.

Surely it's between the parents and adult child.

Also on temp in house sitting still in cold house can get very cold - plus the parents could charge the more to cover the heating or ask them not to work from home.

My teens are pretty good with heating - they wear thermals, layers and use electric blankets and hot water bottles - so when they put the heating on it's pretty cold and I'd rather they did that than suffer.

I think if you're paying rent and that rent encompasses utilities then that person has the right to use those utilities as they need to. If the person who owns the house feels they're using it too much they ask for more rent/keep. Obviously it should be within reason eg not walking around 'freezing' in shorts and a t-shirt!

Yabu. I wouldn't expect ds to sit in the cold when he's paying towards the house.

Whether my child is 5, 25 or 35 I don’t want them to be cold. If they want it on, they can put it on.

My DC pay some rent so I think they are entitled to have the heating on, although they have been drilled into wearing extra layers and warm socks too!

My ds pays a contribution but no way half the bills.

I turned the heating up for him when I went to work this morning so when he came home from swim training and gym he wouldn't get cold

Just turned it back down as off out for evening training and when we are home it'll be warm enough as I'm cooking and then we go to bed.

He does have a muscle wasting condition though and so gets really cold!

You sound a bit tight. Are you tight with wages too?

YABU.

I wouldn't want anyone to be cold or uncomfortable at home.

If you’re working from home you need to be able to have heating on in cold weather.

Don't you know that on Mumsnet a parent's responsibility for their child's wellbeing is lifelong? Who would even ask their adult child to pay rent? Only narc, abusive parents in my experience. The child will probably go no contact and who can blame them?

No. I wouldn't want my dc to be cold at home, regardless of whether they paid rent.

If they're working from home, if course they should be comfortable. If the parents are really struggling (unlikely if their kids are paying rent, as presumably they managed when the kids weren't of rent paying age) then they just put up the rent to cover it.

I would hate my adult DC to be cold in their home. Being warm enough is not a luxury and provided we can afford the bill the house will be warm. Its a disgrace that people can't afford not to be cold and I really dislike the attitude that its entitled and spoilt to want basic comfort.

yabu - I hate people (dh) telling when it’s ok to be toasty, as long as the place isn’t like an oven and they’ve tried putting on a jumper etc people should be allowed. Ask them to pay more and tell them we’ll see them on aibu next week😅

Too right lol, although I'm sure they put it on when I'm not home.